Beer for My Horses

"Beer For My Horses" is a redneck-flavored "buddy cop" comedy starring country music superstar Toby Keith and down-home comedian Rodney Carrington (the pair also co-wrote the script) as small-town Oklahoma sheriff deputies. Toby's the strong silent hero type while Rodney provides the goofball comic relief. When the two stop a gang of crooks from stealing fertilizer from a local farm, one of their prisoners turns out to be the brother of a particularly vicious Mexican drug lord. From there you can pretty much write the script yourself -- the prisoner tells Keith "My brother is going to kill you," Toby laughs it off, then his girlfriend is kidnapped right out of her car on a country road late at night. Of course, the prisoner's brother is responsible, and he arranges an exchange -- "You bring me my brother or I'll kill the girl." Thus, Keith and Carrington sneak their prisoner out of jail and head off to Mexico in Carrington's absurdly over-the-top monster pickup truck, having various misadventures along the way (some of which are far too silly to describe here) before a final showdown South of the Border. Do I really need to tell you how it all turns out? I didn't think so. Toby Keith has suggested that this film is meant to be an homage to the "Cannonball Run" or "Smokey and the Bandit" movies, i.e. not to be taken very seriously. To me, it seemed like they weren't sure whether they were making a straight-up cop movie or a screwball comedy, and never found the proper balance between the two. Toby's a decent enough actor, and Carrington is always good for a few yuks, but I was actually embarrassed for him by the time we got to the scene in a rest-stop men's room where he leads a group of loitering gang-bangers in a sing-along. Willie Nelson is always a welcome presence in movies like these, but he seems wasted in a bit part as the father figure of a traveling circus. I got the most laughs out of the first half hour or so, showcasing Toby's domestic problems and the lack of respect he gets at work from his superior officers. Once they hit the road for Mexico, the movie starts to fall apart. My favorite character in the whole movie is Ted Nugent, who plays a fellow deputy who never speaks (except for two words at the end) -- knowing what a motormouth he is in real life, I imagine it must've been hell for him to keep his trap shut for nearly the entire movie!! In short, "Beer For My Horses" is OK for a few laughs if you happen to catch it on Country Music Television (where it airs on a seemingly weekly basis) but not something you need to seek out unless you're a fan of any of the participants.

I wasn't surprised that the popular 2003 Country single would end up to be a film adaptation five years later. If your familiar with the music video of the song Beer for My Horses, you knew some extension and maybe transformation could lead to a movie. The question was, would they do it? The answer, was yes. As much as I loved the song when I was younger, I wasn't going berserk for the film. I was shocked when discovering it I hadn't seen it until about two years later. The main reason was, I was upset Willie Nelson (co singer in the song) wasn't Toby Keith's sidekick/partner in the film. Thats why I avoided it.

Though as soon I started watching it, I inevitably got hooked. It surpassed the video. It honestly did. The video's plot involved a serial killer who would kill prostitutes, and it was up to Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, and another cop to find out who it was. The movie's plot has a lot more suspense, and effects the protagonist, more than the music video did.

Toby Keith plays lovable deputy Rack who's sidekick is more than meets the eye Lonnie (Rodney Carrington), his bumbling sidekick, and silent and solemn Skunk (Ted Nugent). The three deputies recently arrested a group of Mexicans who tried to steal fertilizer from a shop. The brother of one criminal kidnaps Rack's love interest who he goes back to after his most recent girlfriend dumps him. Rack, Lonnie, Skunk, and the criminal head to Mexico to claim the girl and return the criminal.

Besides some bad jokes, cliché moments, and foreshadowing of help from something useless, this movie proves to be okay. There's just a few problems I have with this. The song Beer for My Horses is heard for fifteen seconds (barely) in the near opening of the film. Thats fine, maybe if the movie wasn't called Beer for My Horses, but why would you name a movie after a song, thats not even in a movie? Its on the soundtrack, and the quote "Whiskey for my man, beer for my horses" is said in the movie.

The last thing I have to complain is the fact that Willie Nelson is the sidekick in the song, but not that movie. Instead he plays a random trucker who fixes the guys' car. Why couldn't all three men (Lonnie, Rack, and Willie) be the lead characters in the film. I don't have a problem with Skunk, but he wasn't even in the video.

This will probably be the closest to the video we will get. Im still hung up on the fact that one of my all-time favorite songs has been made into a movie. Not a bad film, with likable characters and some funny humor. Its not often a good country song gets made into a movie. Though lets hope the next one includes the TITLE SONG.

Starring: Toby Keith, Rodney Carrington, Willie Nelson, and Ted Nugent. Directed by: Michael Salomon.

I have no earthly idea what "Beer for My Horses" is supposed to be or whom it's supposed to appeal to, but it does have one of the most unusual casts I've seen in ages. Rock and country music stars Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Mel Tillis, Ted Nugent, Mac Davis and David Allen Coe join up with actual, honest-to-God actors like Tom Skerrit and Claire Forlani in a film derived from Keith's hit country song of the same name.

In fact, Keith co-wrote, directed and plays the lead in this tale of an Oklahoma sheriff whose girlfriend is kidnapped after he and his men arrest the brother of a nefarious Mexican drug lord for stealing fertilizer, apparently a key ingredient in meth production (who knew?). Soon, the law enforcer and his posse are headed south-of-the-border to rescue the girl.

Keith has thrown just about everything he can think of into the mix: small-town buffoonery, race-tinged melodrama, low-keyed romance, a troupe of circus performers, a flatulent bulldog, and more scowling Mexicans than you can shake a sombrero at. Somehow it's all supposed to go together, but even the most accomplished filmmaker would have trouble making it all work. Still, it's so homespun, scruffy and amiable that criticizing it too harshly would be like kicking the family mutt.

Please bear with the prelude because I think this is the only place to tell this story and it has something to do with the movie:

I rent the house I live in. I was hoping to buy it, but it got bought out from under me, so I continue to rent while my youngest finishes high-school. Just before the house changed hands, I took a walk with my wife and met some guy in a cowboy hat and jeans, coat and work-gloves ripping out all the brush that lined the road across from our house (good thing... it was ugly). He told us he had just bought the land and was going to build a house on it. It was some 20 acres. We thought some housing developer was going to put in a new division.

I congratulated him on his purchase and I said I was glad it was a solo owner. You can count the residences in the neighborhood on one hand, so I introduced myself and said "howdy neighbor." He told me his name was Rodney Carrington. I asked "what kind of work do you do, Rodney?" I got a stunned deer look from him as it was obvious my wife and I had never heard of him. After he told me what he did, my wife and I made a little more small-talk and we walked home. On a whim, I looked him up on YouTube. OMG! Then I found out who Rodney was... and later that he bought my house. I'm now his tenant.

Before I get to the review, I will say that I find Rodney very funny, and he's quite the regular guy. He's a hard-working comic in the tradition of Will Rogers (though less g-rated) and he and his family make mighty fine neighbors.

Now, to the movie rating. "Beer for my Horses" isn't a bad movie, nor is it a must-see movie. There are some serious plot failures (no, you can't cross into Mexico the way they did), the bad guys are sadly cartoonish and the story is overall very pedestrian.

However, the acting is competent, the cast of stars was a pleasant surprise, and we're spared the cliché of making "The Man" (Tom Skerritt's role as the sheriff) seem like a jerk or a buffoon. He recognizes his rogue subordinates as at least trying and joins in the toasts when they seem appropriate. Rodney is only really turned loose for the rest-stop scene (and it's actually worth watching the movie just for that scene). Ted Nugent is there to act up with the weapons and his best moments are at the start of the film.

Summary: If you're not sure what to watch and you need a comic moment, grab some shots and beers and watch "Beer for my Horses."

My wife and I are huge TK fans. When he was in the 'burgh last week telling the concert goes about the movie, we thought "what the heck, lets check it out." We should have been tipped off by the completely empty theater, but we figured, its 7:00 on a Monday night so maybe they're just really slow. Wrong-o. Toby, you write great songs and your singing is fantastic, but you need to get as far away from Hollywood as you can. I'm not sure if the acting was so bad it destroyed the writing or if the writing was so bad it couldn't be acted, but whatever the reason, this movie was just plain bad. On the sneak preview show on CMT, the stars/writers Toby and Rodney kept referring to it being like Cannonball Run. Having seen the Cannonball movies, I should have seen it coming, but the Cannonball movies would be Oscar material compared to this. I would have given it a 1 but there was one funny scene. Other than that, I say again save your $8.50 and watch it on CMT in 3 months.