Zwölf Runden

In recent years, there really hasn't been many truly great action flicks to warrant fans of the genre to go to the theaters. Sure, there has been a few entries in classic action series like Rambo and Indiana Jones hat met with varied success, but not much in the line of fresh new flicks has been produced (Except the awesome Crank). Thus we come to a film that really garnered next to no hype and slipped quietly into theaters, 12 Rounds. Is it the movie action fans have been yearning for? Danny Fisher, played by WWE superstar John Cena, is a New Orleans detective faced with a problem: an old terrorist named Miles he arrested a year back has broken out of jail and has taken Fisher's girl. Now the only way to get her back is to complete 12 rounds of a "game" that Miles created to finally get revenge on the cop that ruined his life. It's an unlikely scenario to be sure, but hey, this is an action flick, so it's just preposterous enough to make for an interesting plot. The thing I don't understand though is the fact that in the trailer for 12 Rounds, it is said to be directed by the same director who did Die Hard 2, and produced by the Speed producer. Why is this odd? Well, it is obvious right from the start that 12 Rounds is a blatant rip-off of Speed right down to some scenes being near carbon-copies. Well, at least they ripped off the cream of the action genre crop I guess.

One of the major compliments I feel I have to give to the filmmakers comes in that no noticeable CGI was used anywhere in the movie. CGI has been overused way too much as of late, so to see an action movie with good ol' fashioned stunts and explosions is great. What's better than no CGI is how all the action is done incredibly well. Between great car chases, huge explosions, and nicely choreographed fights, it's a feast for the eyes. Of course, all this awesomeness couldn't just stay awesome thanks heavily to the awful camera-work. Similar to Quantum of Solace's quick cuts and shaky camera during action sequences, 12 Rounds makes it difficult at times to tell what the hell is going on. I don't see what is wrong with traditional camera-work where viewers can actually enjoy the high-quality special effects since they can be seen in all their glory, but I digress.

Honestly, there really isn't much to say about this one. If you are an action fan that has already seen every Stallone and Schwarzenegger movie under the sun, then 12 Rounds is sure to entertain on a rainy afternoon. Granted, it doesn't bring much to the table in terms of new concepts or anything like that, but it's entertaining, and that all that really matters, right? Again, it's a complete and utter rip-off of Speed, but it's a damn fine rip-off, and I would be willing to call this Speed 2 more than that pathetic piece of crap film with the cruise ship. After jumping to conclusions when I saw John Cena as the star and it being a WWE Production, I was genuinely surprised by the entertainment value found within, and I think that if viewers go in with the right mindset, they too will have a great time.

John Cena, who should stick to the wrestling ring, does in 12 ROUNDS what boils down to a reprise of his character from THE MARINE. The plot is also the same, which has Cena once again chasing after his kidnapped wife. The actress playing the wife even looks like the wife from THE MARINE. The only difference is this time, Cena must match wits with an IRA type who puts Cena through a series of improbable tasks to save her. The film is of the shaky camera and CGI variety, and it frankly isn't as heart-pounding as THE MARINE. This is partly because we've seen it all before, and because the tasks Cena must undertake are completely unbelievable. Plus the acting is sub par. The flick also is highly derivative of past flicks like DIE HARD, PHONE BOOTH, DIRTY HARRY, CELL PHONE and LETHAL WEAPON, among others.

If you're going to watch this movie, it will be to see vehicles crash into other vehicles and cause lots of damage. This movie does that very well. It will also be for the nonstop excitement in a number of scenes, including the thrilling runaway streetcar. And the suspense of wondering if Det. Fisher can complete each challenge in time, breaking all the rules along the way. He has so many challenges and each one just leads to another one, equally impossible.

Sure, we've seen this sort of thing before, but if I enjoy the formula, so what?

But this movie isn't without problems. Aidan Gillen didn't quite reach the point of being deliciously evil, though the potential was there and he achieved what I hoped for in a few scenes.

And some of the writing was pretty bad. Cops are supposed to be smarter than this. FBI agents are supposed to be smarter too. One of the movie's final scenes had some of the most pathetic writing imaginable. But that's just the dialogue. The action in that scene was great.

I was disappointed to see Steve Harris from the critically acclaimed "Awake" in this. He didn't add much. And by the way, that's not him asleep in that streetcar. I couldn't understand what he was doing there, given the urgency of the situation.

With all the killing that takes place, the violence isn't graphic. You know people die, but you don't see the blood.

I particularly liked scenes with Danny and Molly together when not trying to stay alive. One highlight is Molly trying to repair the plumbing and I'm not talking about her mechanical skills. These scenes had some funny lines, and as terrible as certain events were, the movie's last line was really funny.

It was ... interesting.

Yes, I saw this movie. Why? Because it was free. No one expects this to be a groundbreaking action movie that changes the face of the genre. I didn't even expect it to be a decent ripoff. But hey, I had a good time watching this one...it's not going to go down as epic or anything, but it's certainly not the worst product featuring a wrestler in a starring role (Doom, anyone?). This is all well and good, but they should change the title of this film to '12 Rounds of Insanity', because there's no way any of this movie is possible.

That's where the chuckles will begin. The premise of this movie, pretty much 'Saw' crossed with 'Speed', is rather clever - it's the one reason I didn't hate the movie - however, this doesn't change the fact that this is one of the most ridiculous and insane movies of recent memory. I don't mean insane like...cool insane. I mean insane as in that only an insane person could see the events of the film as realistic.

Is Renny Harlin still capable of directing decent action? Sure, as '12 Rounds' doesn't do a bad job supplying some quality stunts and explosions, which, let's face it - is all the audience really wants from this movie. 'Die Hard 2' was a worthy entry in that series (though it may be the most forgettable), but hey, Harlin does pack the movie with enough action and thrills to make it at least somewhat entertaining.

John Cena, as we know, is not an actor...I do not expect him to deliver award worthy work, therefore he does not disappoint. He does have an air of likability about him, but he doesn't have the same level of charisma as most other action stars nowadays. I don't even think he smiles in this movie. Again, is Harlin known for getting great performances? No, so you shouldn't expect anything more. What's kind of sad is that the actors in the movie, the people who actually have that as their first profession, are nothing short of laughable. Ashley Scott in particular was disappointing because of her lack of emotion. Aidan Gillen is a passable villain (though he couldn't have been cheesier if he tried), and is also the character hurt most by the ridiculous events in the script. Brian White as Cena's partner was probably my favorite character and performance in the film.

In short, '12 Rounds' is not a movie that should be taken overly serious. It aims for an audience who expects cool explosions, a fast talking villain, and a ton of action. In that respect, this movie is alright. It's also the first action movie this year that the kids (around 9 or 10 and up) should be okay in, as there's very little language and no sex at all. If you go in with low to modest expectations (or are in the mood for exactly what it promises), '12 Rounds' might just be a decent movie.

If you can just avoid asking "how?" you might enjoy this film as an exciting collection of action scenes. The villain does bad things, and the hero John Cena manages to save the day (as expected). Reality and logic are overlooked when they are in conflict with a good action scene. The fact that the action in this film could never, never ever happen is beside the point.

Very little time is spent on character development, since all you need to know is who the villain is. You find this out within a minute or two, and you can then switch off your brain for the rest of the film.

This film is immune to criticism. John Cena does not have any big acting scenes, and might even be capable of passable acting. However, he's not called upon to do much acting. His execution of the stunts and action scenes is amazing.

How can anyone complain about an illogical plot when the film was produced by the WWE and stars a professional wrestler? The movie was filmed entirely in New Orleans,and makes terrific use of dozens of locations. I probably gave it an extra point or two for this.

The scene with the "runaway streetcar" has got to be an in-joke, because the "real" Canal Street streetcar cannot travel more than a half-block at a time at a very, very slow pace. It is frequently blocked by vehicles stopped across its tracks. The havoc (if not revenge) wreaked on vehicular traffic by this runaway streetcar has got to bring delight to any local streetcar rider.