Jeepers Creepers 3

What were they doing in those 14 years between 2 and 3, staring at their shoelaces? I love the first two films because they are both scary and well made, but WOW, this film is GARBAGE. TRUST ME, this is coming from a HUGE JC fan! The film takes place between the 1st and 2nd movie, which is dumb because nobody wanted to see what happened between the 1st and 2nd movie. I wanted to see what happened after the 2nd movie, but even then, it's really confusing because the plot keeps jumping back and forth between all of these dumb characters. I couldn't tell if the film was set in the present day, in 2001, or in the 70's because of the craptastic pacing. There's even a scene where you can see a 2016 Chevy truck in a film that supposedly takes place in 2001. Speaking of pacing, there is none! Nothing happens in this movie and the film ends right when it should've started! There are so many characters that the film gets lost in itself. The first film had Darry and Trish, simple and easy. The 2nd film had the athletes and a side-plot revolving around an angry father, but it was still easy to follow and well balanced. Here, we have an old lady getting visions from her dead son, then we have Sargeant Tubbs from the first movie, then we have the anti-Creeper gang, then we have some teenagers, then we have a country boy who has a crush on a girl, and said girl also gets her own storyline. All the characters are pointless and are not flushed out because the film is trying so hard to give equal focus to everyone. The CGI is SO BAD and is EVERYWHERE in the film. It's so bad that my theater was laughing louder than the actual movie! The Creeper doesn't do ANYTHING, no smelling fear, eating body parts, he just sorta walks around and grunts. There's one good scene where a group of teenage bikers finds The Creepers truck in the woods, and it's the only good scene in the entire film. That's it! Worst of all, WE STILL DON'T KNOW THE CREEPERS'S ORIGINS!!! I've been waiting nearly 2 decades and we STILL DON'T KNOW WHERE HE COMES FROM??? The film ends on a cliffhanger but I do not want a 4th movie. This feels like it should've been made for the SyFy channel and seeing this on the big screen is like seeing Lake Placid 6 on the big screen. Just don't do it!

Arriving 14 years after part 2, this latest installment in the supernatural monster movie series is a dreadful disappointment. Acting as a direct sequel to the first film from 2001, the story follows events from the following couple of days as the Creeper, a mysterious demonic killer of great power, continues his activities.

He awakens every 23 years for only 23 days, during which he causes mayhem and kills and consumes fearful human victims. A contingent of law enforcement officers try to finish him off, but he's determined to reclaim a lost relic that has been hidden away by a local farm family.

Writer-director Victor Salva had trouble securing financing for this film, and it shows, with bad FX work and missing shots. There's also a surplus of badly-done green-screen work. A lot of time is devoted to the Creeper's distinctive truck, which is revealed to be loaded with booby traps. Besides the poor production values, this entry lacks interesting characters or a sense of dread and mystery (found in the first film), or any cleverly executed monster attack moments (as in the second).

I waited 14 years to be disappointed. The acting was terrible, the story lines were terrible, and the plot was inconsistent. Because of the time difference between when the second Creepers was filmed and the third, everybody has aged especially the sheriff. It was obviously he had on a wig and it made him look comical. Despite my disappointment I continue to be a Creepers' fan and hope that the fourth installment makes-up for the third.

Oh man, where do I even begin?

I've been waiting for Jeepers Creepers 3 since elementary school. When the day was finally announced last month, I couldn't contain my excitement...well, I could, simply because Jeepers Creepers had worn off a bit. I had realized that the first film, though good in certain aspects, was an overall flawed film, and that the second film was an outright piece of garbage. I predicted that this film would be bad, but oh man, I never could've guessed it would be as awful as it turned out to be. JC3 makes JC2 look good. There's so much wrong with this movie that I'm not even sure where to start.

First, let's start off with the plot, or lack thereof. There are several stories Jeepers Creepers 3 could've told, but it's like they didn't know which one to choose, so they just made a film with no plot at all. JC3 takes place in between 1 and 2, which is a baffling decision since that story didn't need to be told and it ruins the continuity of the JC timeline. The film revolves around, like, 9 characters and I don't even know which character would count as the "main" character because nobody gets adequate enough screen time. We have Officer Tubbs from the end of the first movie, a character so minor in the original that it really makes you wonder why Salva would write him a lead role. Then we have the team of Creeper Hunters led by Stan Shaw. We also have some dementia-stricken old lady, her teenage daughter, the country hunk that's crushing on her, a group of punk teenage bikers, and the Creeper himself. They all have notable screen time but most of them are totally pointless and some don't even have resolutions of concussions to their characters. Notice how out of all of these characters, I never mentioned Trisha? Despite Gina Phillips's on-poster credit, she is not in the movie at all and instead has a 15 second cameo at the very, very tail end of the movie. The film constantly flip-flops back and forth between all of these characters at the most inconvenient times, and by the time the story has come back around to a set of characters, we've already forgotten what's going on with them because the story has packed so much into a 5 minute span, yet so little at the same time.

The errors in the plot continue as, well, there is no plot. Pacing is something that seems totally oblivious to Salva and company, as the film had no distinguishable act structure of any kind. The film still felt like it was in it's 1st act at the hour mark, and I'm honestly not even sure what the climax was supposed to be, if the film even had a climax to begin with! We're just watching the film and suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, the screen turns black and the credits begin to roll. Tonal shifts are aggressive in this film, as one minute it's an episode of Degrassi, then it's John Carpenter's Vampires, then it's Evil Dead 2, and then it's American Horror Story. None of it matches and it feels like 3 or 4 random scripts were cobbled together without any editing. There are some moments the feel like Salva was trying to make a borderline comedy, but it's unclear mostly due to our next point...

Next is the production. Salva is a great cinematic director and the first two movies are filled with gorgeous shots and atmosphere so thick you could cut it with a blade. I suppose Salva got lazy with JC3 because this movie feels like it was made for TV. The film is laden with abysmal CGI, some of the worst I've ever seen in a theatrical release. The CGI in the original film looked better, and that came out in 2001. The editing and lighting are often so awful that you can't even tell what's happening; there is one instance where a biker is snatched, or something, by the Creeper, but it's so quick and shot so poorly you can't even tell what happens. An audience member behind me said "what just happened?" and I was glad I wasn't the only one. The production actually reaches "so bad it's hilarious" status on several occasions, including a slow-mo scene with the Creeper that was so over-the-top that it had the theater erupting in laughter. Trust me, it wasn't the only serious scene where the audience laughed hard at something meant to be serious.

Even The Creeper himself is ruined. One of the most intimidating horror villains of the modern horror age has been reduced to a slightly irritated staggering drunk. Whoever decided to give him that bright red T shirt should be fired, as it looks severely out of place on him. Oh, and we STILL don't know his origins. By this point, being teased on his history comes off as a cheap gimmick, like even Salva has no idea what to do about his backstory.

So there you have it. JC3 is possibly 2017's worst film so far. Too many main characters, an unfocused story with no conclusion, too much plot yet somehow not enough plot, absent pacing, a nonthreatening and goofy looking villain, Syfy channel levels of production, some of the worst CGI ever, and a massive kick in the groin towards the JC fan-base. I used to wonder why this film was denied a worldwide theatrical release, thinking Salva's history may be the culprit. I've now realized that the more likely reason is that the producers saw how awful this film was and couldn't bear to release this on the big screen. It's most definitely a home release, and that's where it should've gone. Judging by how hard my theater laughed at every scene, I doubt I'm the only one who holds these opinions.

It did not live up remotely close to the others. Story was bad. Acting was bad. Plot was bad. Special effects were bad.

Let me save myself some typing and you some time. Everything was really bad.

Go ahead. Watch it if you want. But you'll be all like "man that was bad."