Der Kaufhaus Cop

"Paul Blart: Mall Cop" from 2009 stars Kevin James, Jayma Mays, Shirley Knight, Bobby Cannavale, and Keir O'Donnell.

Paul Blart works for mall security after not making it to the police academy. He acts as if he's guarding the White House, stopping people in motorized carts for infractions, reporting in even though his boss asks who it is, and going a little overboard in his handling of a new trainee.

He hasn't dated since his green card marriage blew up, but he sees a young woman at one of the kiosks, Amy (Jayma Mays) and falls head over heels. After he makes a complete fool of himself at a bar, she seems less friendly.

When a gang announces the mall is closing early and starts an organized takeover and captures hostages, including Amy, Paul is fooling around with a guitar and singing in one of the stores. Therefore when the mall is locked, he's stuck in the mall. And it falls to him to do something about the robbery and the danger to the hostages.

Normally the last thing I watch is films like this. These past two weeks I've seen two. It's since the election. I have needed films to numb my mind. Kevin James makes me laugh with his slapstick and cluelessness, so it was fine.

It's predictable, it's funny in spots, it seems to go on longer than necessary, but by far it is not the worst thing I've ever seen. And for a change with today's comedy, it didn't have vulgar jokes.

This last week I watched Netflix's True Memoirs of an International Assassin, also with Kevin James, to give you an idea of what all the divisiveness and hate of this election has done to me.

This film is kinda silly, kinda dumb, and kinda fun. It is the type of film I would take my 12 year old daughter to see. It seems to be made for preteens and teens. The film was slow to start so have some patience at the beginning. It was a cute movie. Very fun, kid friendly and gives you warm fuzzy feelings at the end. The hero is very likable and you always cheering him to come out on top. I wouldn't say it's a hilarious movie or keep you on the edge of your seat, it had its moments. I would consider the movie a good waste of time. It's nice to have a film out there that is light and avoid bathroom jokes and video-game type violence. I enjoyed it and my daughter liked it even more. It is recommended for young people but not fully recommended for adults.

To those who gave this a three stars or less, what did you expect??? The movie is stupid alright but it is funny. Like a stupid but funny Die Hard. Many funny little stupid things. The air vent scene was funny. The squeaking shoes in the bank were funny. My only real complaint was the guy who they cast in the Hans Gruber role. He wasn't right. Maybe not a bad actor, just grossly miscast. Nimble Kevin was fine and so were most of everyone else. Above average musical score, which was a pleasant surprise.

When I saw the premise of this movie, I had a chuckle. It had the potential to be a decently funny movie, something perhaps with heart, something that delivered a good deal of laughs and you walked out feeling good. I wasn't expecting an Academy Award winning movie. Its definitely not Oscar-worthy. The real disappointment lies in the lack of humor in it.

Paul Blart (Kevin James) is a mall cop that seems to have no direction in his life. They go to good lengths to show how truly depressing his life is. Paul sees a woman in his mall, Amy (Jayma Mays), running a stand for hair extensions. He realizes that he needs to be with her and tries to woo her, even though he has no self-esteem. Just as the story is falling apart, the mall where they both work is robbed in a supposedly sophisticated scheme. Suddenly our slovenly friend is thrust into a role where he can try to impress the love of his life and excel at his job at the same time. Easy to guess where this story is going, no?

The acting was okay, the direction was tolerable. The problem is the script. As I said, the story itself had potential. It just felt as if the writers could decide where this was a character they loved or hated. It really could have used another re-write or two to develop the script a little more. The movie is tolerable, but realize that not only are you not seeing an Oscar-worthy movie, but you'll be a little disappointed in the laughs as well. 3/10

Lame-but-charming with some laugh-out-loud moments is the best way I can sum up this comedy. Overall, it's pretty innocent, especially considering most comedies today. There is very little material that could be offensive.

It's a cliché these days in films, made popular by guys like the late John Candy - fat guys picked up and proving to be heroes and getting back at the thinner-and-nasty folks who torment them. Here, it is a few co-workers at the mall and the bad guys who want to rob it.

Meanwhile, our plump policeman, a security cop at a New Jersey mall, has his eyes on a pretty girl who runs a kiosk.....and you just know he'll win her - "Amy" (Jayma Mays) - in the end. (Hey, it's not real life, but we fat guys can dream, too!) Kevin James plays the Candy-esquire "Paul Blart," a state policeman-wannabe who winds up on his scooter being the ultra-straight cop/nerd for the mall. He, of course, is unlikeliest of heroes, but turns into Rambo when needed. Along the way are a bunch of sight gags and some insults, most of which produce laughs. Some are very funny.

In fact, overall the individual sight gags are funnier than the overall story but it want some nice humor and corny story that doesn't offend much, you could do a lot worse. It's got charm.