Agatha and the Midnight Murders

I'll give points for the idea, because they could have actually gone somewhere with this storyline. Instead what we got was an uninspiring mess with flaccid characters and an uneven plot. It made it far too obvious who the villain was, you didn't even have to guess. It was just awful. Poor Agatha, they did her dirty. Poor woman must be turning in her grave.

If this wasn't badged as an Agatha Chistie, it still would be a rambling poorly acted mish mash. We were actually looking forward to the ad breaks. Plodding along with a scattering of swear words, 3rd rate jokes and violent deaths doesn't make an Agatha Christie murder 'mystery'.

Weak and lacking any real punch. A collection of highly unlikely characters brought together in a highly contrived situation with a rather daft storyline and mediocre script. The claustrophobic atmosphere did add a degree of tension but overall there was little in the way of real suspense, just dead bodies everywhere.

The characters were paper-thin and demanded little attention although the performances of Helen Baxendale, Blake Harrison and Jodie McNee were fair enough; the rest had little more than walk-on parts and were eminently forgettable. I watched it without enthusiasm and consider it time not well spent.

The best I can offer is 5 out of 10, mainly for the central performances, and that's being generous.

In an earlier review, djalloyingj-7365929 August 2021 asks how a film set in 1940 can have a rude song about Hitler's balls set to "The Bridge on the River Kwai" march theme, when "The Bridge on the River Kwai" was made many years after 1940 and the end of World War II. What djalloyingj-7365929 does not realise is that the march theme used in "The Bridge on the River Kwai" is actually a much earlier military march, written by a British counterpart to America's military march king, John Philip Sousa. The original march is called "Colonel Bogey", and a little web-searching can add much detail to this, although "Colonel Bogey" seems to be a fictitious character. The naughty words, very popular with the British army, and naughty little boys, tell us that "Hitler had only one brass ball, Goering had two, but very small, Himmler was somewhat sim'lar, but poor old Goebels had no balls at all!" This may not have been historically correct, but was very satisfying to sing very loudly. The idea that Agatha Christie, in real life, might find herself in a real murder scene, and be able to use her fictionally honed mystery-solving skills to solve the mystery is sufficient to motivate "Agatha and the Midnight Murders", and other (fictional) murder mysteries that do not involve Christie's usual sleuths, such as Poirot and Marple.

Somehow I got a third of the way through this debacle of a movie before I realised I may totally lose the will to live if I watched a second more. Helen Baxendale, totally miscast, did the best she could with the abysmal script, but could do nothing to improve it. The rest of the characters did nothing but annoy, and the acting in general was amateurish. The supposed comic moments were unfunny and embarrassing and the suspense was conspicuous by its absence. The occasional bad language seemed way out of character and the actual story was about as interesting as fishing. I regret every second I wasted on this - even the time spent writing this frigging review! What a waste of effort. I have been generous giving it 2 stars. Watch this at your own peril.