Agatha and the Curse of Ishtar

It has all the trappings of a pretty period drama, and it probably wasn't cheap to make, but the plot and the dialogue are absolute drivel. Jonah Hauer-King is a tasty piece of eye-candy but ogling him is the only pleasure to be had from wasting your time with this.

I couldn't help but think of the many Poirot movies set in the middle east. Those were imbued with sound, heat, mystery, etc. Of these exotic locations. Poirot always insistent on pursuing his british/belgium idiosyncrasies while trying to enjoy his "vacations " which was always interrupted by a wonderful murder. (See Death on the Nile).

This is the complete opposite. The first part of the movie focuses on christie trying to imbue her novels with "romance." She is encouraged by new friends to go to Iraq, and it is downhill from there. The Christie actress is bland, the murder of someone is not clear...apparently the monkey imbibed the poison.. The rest of the ensemble (except for young Max) is boring and unforgettable. Even the scenery is dusty and boring. There didn't seem to be any music or sound effects to heighten our attention to murders or significant scenes.

Watch the first of these Christie driven movies. The one that depicts Christie when she disappeared for a few weeks, made a couple of years back. That actress successfully depicted Agatha as a serious author, but with a lovely sparkle underneath. There is no sparkle here.

This was slow and plodding. It managed to make 95 minutes feel like 3 hours. The main actress playing Agatha lacked charisma and it had a bit of an amateur feel to it, although it was made as a TV movie. On the plus side, the production values were very good, so it was a shame that it wasn't a better script with a bit more drama and played less flat. This is probably the dullest Agatha Christie related movie that I have ever seen. At least the ones made in the 80s were entertaining.

I had some expectations for this, largely due to Ms Marshal's presence, and it does indeed have several high values.

But it has three features which spoiled it for me: the weirdly soporific sound quality; the dismal pacing; the, let's face it, dreadful script; the cringe-inducing stabs at romance for the lead character; these four chief weapons; -- yes, after watching it, one feels one has been entertained by the Spanish Inquisition.

Channel 5 make another original Agatha Christie mystery movie featuring Agatha Christie turned crime investigator. This way they do not have to deal with any copyright issues relating to Marple or Poirot.

Agatha Christie (Lyndsey Marshal) has divorced her husband and gone to an Iraqi archaeological site to seek inspiration to write romance stories.

Instead she finds love with a younger man. Max Mallowan (Jonah Hauer-King) an archaeological assistant is found by Christie after he is shot. The real life Mallowan actually ended up marrying Christie.

Christie also stumbles into murder then a monkey who has been poisoned and later found hanged.

Of course this could easily be a Poirot mystery. The desert, Babylonian artefacts being looted, a tablet containing a curse, an arrogant American tycoon and oodles of death, but that character is under copyright.

So Christie and Mallowan try to unearth the killer and also find time for some hanky panky. At times it comes across as Carry on Follow that Camel with a randy couple on the excavation site and some double entendres.

This looks more expensive than last year's Agatha and the Truth of Murder. It has been filmed in Malta. It was also more playful and lighter in tone in than the previous movie. I am not convinced that it actually made it a better film. I think Marshal fitted the part better than the previous actress.