Sick Girl

Oh, Sick Girl. How sick you are. Ya got your kicks peeing on nuns, lopping off weiners, and kissing your brother. You actually sound like a pretty cool chick, it's such a shame you're monotone and you have a dumpy butt.

2007's Sick Girl, created by all around blowhard Eben Whatshisname, focuses on the small-town life of a girl named Izzy, who is forced to become head of her household when her brother ships off to the Marines. Things sour from there on out, and Izzy's already shaky disposition crumbles into a pile of constant premenstrual insanity. No one's safe anymore; not her flamboyant younger brother, nor their bike-riding bear of a neighbor. The blood flows, children die, and rats are fed and returned to the gay guy who did porn after being in Fright Night. You know the guy.

I'd like to say Sick Girl is a good time, but then again, I'd like to say I enjoy popping pimples along the under-carriage of my fanny. A little juicy, kinda painful, and totally unnecessary. This movie fails for a few reasons, namely its weak script and dodgy direction. If you enjoy drawn-out scenes of inept dialogue and really pointless scenes of gore, including a controversial moment where a severed member is forced onto a make-shift dildo, the less discriminating horror-hound may actually enjoy this sh!t show.

So throw on a wife-beater or two, break out the Christmas lights, and don't say I didn't warn ya. Sick Girl sucks.

Let's cut to the chase. The creator-provided synopsis goes, "A girl who wants to protect her little brother, f*ck her older brother and torture everyone else out in the barn." Any questions? Well, while undeniably accurate, the film isn't quite as simplistic as this would suggest. Izzy (Andrews) is left to bring up her young brother (Trepany) after her older sibling heads off to Iraq with the Marines - both parents are absent, and the reasons for this are, interestingly, never made entirely clear, though we have some evidence for Izzy's involvement. The only one who helps out is Barney (McGarr) a biker who plays Santa Claus at the local hospital, but it's soon made clear that Izzy is entirely capable of fending for herself. Especially when a proto-thug at the local school decides to pick on her kid bro.

Izzy is an intriguing mix, a character somewhere between Juno and Dexter; to those she loves, she is fiercely loyal, yet anyone else had best not cross her, or the results will be horrific, in ways beyond your imagination - certainly, at least one sequence goes well beyond **our** imagination! I think it's her sheer cold-blooded approach that is the most chilling thing here, and Andrews is simply phenomenal in the role, possessing a calmness which is completely unnerving. Even when engaging in brutality of the most appalling sort, you suspect her heart-beat rarely goes above 85. She even takes time out to lecture small children on the evils of bullying, where her philosophy is, "There's nothing wrong with hurting things smaller than you - providing you also take on things bigger than you. Then size is irrelevant." Cold: very cold. If you want to peer into the abyss which is the very darkest corner of the human psyche, then this is low-budget cinema at its brilliant best. However, you should be aware that you might see things you will not easily forget.

I watched this movie about three years ago. I'd heard a great deal about how nasty and shocking it was. The torture scenes in the barn near the end are quite brutal. But the thing that I remember most about this film is how annoying the lead actress's voice was. You spend the majority of this movie with this character and she is painful to listen to. Not only because of her delivery but because of the actual direlogue itself. I couldn't root for the character because she was so annoying and skanky.

If the most memorable thing about a movie is how annoying the leads voice is, it doesn't bode well for the film. I'd avoid this film.

Oh boy, where to start with this one. This is absolutely one of the best and sickest movies I have seen for awhile, for a low-budget movie. It's about a rural family that the children, the oldest boy, youngest boy, and in the middle is Izzy, the sister that goes completely berserk after her oldest brother joins the military, are living since their Parents died. Izzy is a short gal, that was schooled by her brother in some martial arts, and turns into a killing machine. First off is a school bus, full of students and nuns, and Izzy kills them all and pisses on a Nun. Then she kidnaps a couple of boys that have been bullying her brother, by forcing the main bully to kill the other two. That boy and a couple end up tied up in the families barn, and that's where the movie goes to a different level of torture and one particular scene that completely blew me away for being so decadent and extremely shocking. "Sick Girl" is so over the top, with some of the most sadistic scenes I have ever seen, and delivers them with no remorse and in graphic detail. I have to admit, I was expecting this movie to be a cheapo, that was predictable but something I might like. It was way way beyond that, and for an old gorehound like me, I couldn't believe the extreme direction the movie takes. It sets up also for a sequel, that they absolutely have to make. Izzy is such an insane killing machine, that one movie is not enuff for this character. I kept looking for the teaser trailer scene of her blowing away a movie audience because they were annoying her, but that scene is not in the movie. It is however in the Special Features, and could be in a sequel very easily. I absolutely loved this extreme and graphic thriller, it shocked the hell out of me. There is plenty there for gorehounds too, I think the gorehound fans will like it, but far more that gore, the movie is just down right nasty. Nothing is held back, Izzy is a homicidal maniac, and I could not recommend this tasty little movie any higher. This is a must-see for anybody that has the same demented taste in movies as me.

Writer-director-producer Eben McGarr opens us up to the world of Izzy, where parents are dead, one brother is in the military and the other is just starting to grow up. What lengths would you go to in order to protect your family?

This film has been floating around film festivals and conventions for a while now... and I've had an interest, particularly after hearing about the cameo from Andy Signore ("The Janitor"). Now thanks to Synapse, we all have the chance to see it on DVD (though, for me, it helps to review films as a job).

The biggest criticism I can give of this film is the dreadful mixing on the sound. Much of the dialogue is too quiet and the sound effects and score are too loud. So, you end up not hearing what everyone says and getting blasted by the music. It's more than just a little frustrating. The plot is a bit convoluted at times, the CG is awful, and the acting is cheesy, but these negatives are forgivable.

What has gotten this film so much attention is the sheer nastiness in the violence. Kids forced to kill kids, sodomy, rape, dismemberment, suicide... not all of it is as gory as you might want, but much of it is more graphic and gory than you'd expect. I don't want to give away how extreme it gets, but let's just say if you want gore and violence, it gets more and more intense as the film goes along, and you will not be let down.

Get a copy of this from Synapse. Order it today. Do not hesitate. You could rent it, but seriously I think this might be one you want to keep on your shelf for just the right occasion.