The Apocalypse

The purest form of garbage boiled in cat pee & dog dung would be preferable to this grotesque mediocrity. Dead soulless characters mouthing an idiotic script based on the vapid vanity of some wacky cult/pseudo religion. To call this crap would embarrass real crap. The craven idiots that would bother to watch it deserve their self-styled lobotomies. Only a masochist or a drooling idiot would watch more than five minutes. The dog barking early in the film outside of frame was probably the only sensible attempt at reality. The only possible rapture would be that this film vanish from memory. The only possible heaven seems to be to boil the cult in oil for ever attempting this disgusting waste of film, time and resources. Only one word comes to mind regarding this film: abomination of culture, taste, religion of any sort. Given the choice of being targeted by a Texas size asteroid or watching this film: do yourself a favor: choose the asteroid! Travesty. abomination, grotesque, mediocre, evil, bad, putrid are totally inadequate to describe this execrable example of attempted social masturbation. Even bad porno has a point: this putative movie fails even in that. Should someone force you to watch this, grab a fork or sharp object and stab yourself in the leg ... if you are going to hurt so bad, do it to yourself: Oprah calls that empowerment. If there was a Satan that wanted to destroy souls and corrupt people: Satan would be proud of this film! The ludicrous attempt at dialogue, while hampered by foley and other ambient sounds truly wrenches their overly self-righteous preachiness from being heard: that maybe a good thing. Even Ed Wood had better technique and pride in his craft than these brain-dead excuses.

Despite appearing to have a possibly interesting storyline and plot and maybe the promise of some nice CGI, this movie totally disappointed and fell miles short of every preconception I had. Besides the terrible storyline, this movie was totally unwatchable. The acting was completely amateur to say the least and the script made me feel i was watching a child's school play (no offence kids), the conversations didn't flow like they would in a well written movies and it just generally lacked cohesion and depth, that wasn't completely lame. Overall this movie was appalling and just sitting though it was torture enough, I beg everyone else out there who is thinking of watching this, don't do it and if you have paid to see or hire this movie, demand your money back!

First of all, giving this film (if you can call it that) one star is being WAAAAAAYYYY generous. It was so bad, I don't even know if there's a low enough negative number to describe to you how bad it was.

Now, I'm a Christian, and I thought I could appreciate a movie like this. My husband warned me that it would probably be cheesy, which I expected, but this movie was so much worse than I expected, and I wasn't expecting much! Where do I begin? The sound alone was terrible-you couldn't even hear what the actors were saying for 90% of the movie, but you could hear the most obscure background noises as clear as a bell. There were HUGE continuity problems, the plot was pretty much nonexistent, the whole thing was just ridiculous. Of course, the acting was terrible on top of all of that, which actually seemed like a minor issue compared to the rest.

It was a complete and utter waste of time and $3.00. NEVER watch this movie. Unless you'd like to see the worst movie ever made-then it's good for that. But otherwise, don't watch it.

Seriously, what could the director have been thinking? Did they not even watch it after it was done, or did they actually think it was a good movie at completion? In one word: Wow.

Plot

In this epic disaster film of faith, a mother and father search for their only child as a giant asteroid headed for Earth triggers a series of apocalyptic events.

Cast

I honestly knew nobody but can confidently and unoffensively say that many of the "Actors" should find different careers as their performances here were dreadful.

Verdict

Generally I'll always avoid faith films, like run a mile from the very concept of watching one but on the flipside I have a soft spot for The Asylum. Are they awful 95% of the time absolutely but.......wait where was I going with this?

The Apocalypse feels cheap even for an Asylum film, the cast are remarkably incompetent. The plot disguises itself as being a Deep Impact meteor-esque film when in reality it's all about faith/God/the Rapture etc where the believers are saved the atheists are presented as uneducated and foolish.

Visually ugly, acting dreadful, plot recycled and ridiculous and overall let's make no mistake this is a Christian movie dressed up as something else. It gets worse than this, but just barely.

Rants

Recently I saw a meme claiming that Atheists need to keep their Atheism to themselves and stop shoving it down everyone's throats.

Christian movies, Christian music, Christian tv stations, Christian award ceremonies, multiple buildings in every town dedicated to Christianity, Christians in the streets preaching, Christians knocking on your door preaching and lets not forget Christians walking around with the Christian logo around their necks.

But sure, people who don't believe are the ones who are oversaturating the world with their beliefs.

Breakdown

Awful acting Nonsensical plot Pure propaganda film.

What can I possibly say in its defence.

Um. Well, the first 5 minutes almost showed promise.

I think that's about it.

Now that I've had a fair shot at being NICE about it.... I'll fill in the blanks. It sucks. Even my mother (of 70) who is a DEVOUT believer found this to be insulting, unwatchable, and a waste of time. She turned it off before the end.

Me, I'm not that way inclined, and I thought it was utter crap too.

So, two people from very opposite sides couldn't stand it.

Anyhow, other than that... continuity... effects... sound editing... a finite number of monkeys (perhaps 10) randomly using typewriters and sticky back plastic WOULD have done better.

Watch this film if you're gonna die tomorrow.. it will make you feel pleased at the prospect.