Küss mich bitte!

How can people stand watching such abysmal film-making? It is an insult to any kid trying to tell an original story that, for over 15 years, Emmanuel Mouret has been making those bad empty supposedly sentimental unmoving pictures.

The story is classic high-brow sentimental, but it is executed with so little talent: dead-flat dialogue, dumb-numb directing. And seriously, watching Sir Emmanuel Mouret with his unflappable Droopy dead-pan for more than 5 minutes is quite a pain.

Actually this kind of movie is for pretentious sociopaths who revel in stuff that they, the True Believers only, can appreciate.

This movie is like half-popped corn. Remember that gooey feeling? The only reason to see it at all is a silent, dimly lit, near-still three-second shot of Virginie Ledoyen smoking a cigarette by the open window. Like her or not, you have to admit she looks great in half profile. A long-time advertising model (and bona-fide beach babe ever since she played eye candy to Danny Boyle's adaptation of Alex Garland's "The Beach"), she has become a very classy lady indeed. A little too classy for her own good perhaps. Which is true for the movie as a whole. The script lays claim to emotional upheaval and tragic turmoil, but the movie is all surface. If that's a dramatic strategy, it doesn't work for me. With outfits to match the set design, the characters are almost invisible against the backdrop of their tastefully decorated apartments. Think "Closer" meets "Match Point", minus any wit of note. There was only a single line I really liked. Judith (Ledoyen) is trying to convince Nicolas (writer-director-actor Emmanuel Mouret) that they must exorcise their obsession with one another by making its consummation as unpleasant as possible: "Let's do it on the floor. It'll be less comfortable that way." I'll try to remember that, and use it when the time is right.

If you like quiet walks in the park,---------------------------------- If you like to rowboat on a lake, ------------------------------------ If you like flying a kite, ------------------------------------------- If you like warmth of the sun on your face, -------------------------- If you like to stump your shoes in a puddle, ------------------------- If you like clicking of shoes on cobblestones, ----------------------- If you like feel of a kiss on your lips ------------------------------ -----------------------------------You will like this movie.

This movie, pardon me; film, is about; relationship, love, desire, and infidelity. Ordinary emotions filmed in the most romantic way only the French could do.

I saw this last month at the 2009 Palm Springs International Film Festival and of the 36 films I attended this would be in my top three. Not because it is skillfully executed art film or a masterfully crafted film with dynamic acting performances or with stunning art direction and cinematography and sound but simply because it so simple, original and extremely funny. I really enjoyed this romantic comedy farce from writer/director/actor Emmanuel Mouret who cast himself in one of the principal roles of Nicolas. It could be a stage play and maybe that's what Mouret had in mind when he wrote it. The story starts with Gabriel (Michael Cohen) and Emilie (Julie Gayet) who are strangers and have met by chance and enjoy an evening together as Emilie relates a story of how an innocent kiss can lead to unintended consequences. In Emilie's story told in flashbacks, she illustrates her point with that of Nicholas who confides in his friend Judith (Virginie Ledoyen) that he is addicted to physical intimacy but is afraid to start a new relationship with someone. Judith is married to Claudio (Stefano Accorsi) and doesn't want to be in a relationship with Nicholas so they come up with a plan to help Nicholas. The simple plan quickly goes wrong and escalates the problems and complications it develops throughout the story as told by Emilie. Fredrique Bel is also in the ensemble cast as Caline. The film of course a story within a story and both are delightfully spun. Mouret has delivered an absolutely charming, smart, fresh and witty film here that I would highly recommend and give it a full 10 out of 10.

Everything about this is a little off kilter, which I mean in the very best way. The characters proceed as if in a fantasy and it all winds up in hilarious scenes. A Rom-Com with a difference, this is hard to categorize.