Armored

Good, boring or bad? It's good. Worth your money? If you can spare it for a ticket, sure. Better than the trailer makes it seem? Yes, oddly.

There isn't much to the script - Guards working at armored truck company move vast amounts of cash. Guards see opportunity to retire as millionaires, one of them is too honest to go along with it all, and a well-laid plan goes to hell.

This could have been a poorly-executed Reservoir Dogs ripoff, but the skill of the cast and the director's ability to make just about anything tense pull it out of that realm and put it onto a solid footing.

I'm not here to tell you "Armored" is Kubrickian, Hitchcockian or Fellini-esquire. Nope. Referenced directors are more like Don Siegel ("Charlie Varrick") and Walter Hill ("The Warriors"). Those two helmers didn't fool around with niceties like putting women in their movies. No skirts need apply. They unapologetically made guy movies. Guns, lots of guns. Men met violent death with a twitch of the jaw. Their movies were like a sap to the head. You want a friend? Get a dog.

"Armored" is so a guy movie. Dueling armored trucks? Bloody gunshot wounds? Exploding money? If that doesn't get the lizard part of your brain excited, then stay away.

At 88 minutes, "Armored" is all muscle without an ounce of fat. We meet six security guards who drive armored trucks, three per truck. The six, led by Matt Dillon, scheme up a fake hijack involving two trucks. Their mission one day is to deliver $42 million from the federal reserve (I think). The idea is to drive both trucks to a warehouse, stash the cash, then stage a hijack. Sure, the cops will suspect them, but if they stick together they'll get through it.

Trouble is, one of the six, played by Columbus Short, is a holdout. At first. But he faces eviction. And he's the guardian for his messed up younger brother. He needs cash bad.

Matt Dillon cajoles, pleads, persuades the holdout. No blood on anyone's hands. A clean getaway. All good, no bad. You'll be rich forever. Blue skies smiling at you ...

Right.

Everything goes to hell, of course. It's one damned thing after another and the stakes keep going up. And it almost all happens claustrophobically inside an abandoned warehouse somewhere in Los Angeles. In fact, the movie goes out of its way to project a backdrop of industrial urban decay. I happen to like industrial urban decay.

Kudos to Matt Dillon, who plays the top bad dog. He goes from charming to disappointed to frustrated to outraged to totally effing insane in the course of the movie. Love that guy.

Also, credit is due to the menacing, throbbing, blistering and totally sinister electronic soundtrack by John Murphy. I am guessing he's heard a few Tangerine Dream records.

Also, it's surprising that this is a PG-13 movie. I caught one — one! — f-bomb in this entire movie about violent tough-guy robbers. On some level, I like that. Take the kids.

The director is Nimrod Antal, a Hungarian who made a fine noir set in the Budapest subway system called "Kontroll." Screenwriter is an out-of-nowhere guy called James V. Simpson.

A lot of the people in this movie are just starting out. I am willing to bet the esteem given to this movie will rise as time goes on and these filmmakers advance in their careers.

I had been amazed by director Antal's Kontroll back in 2003. His first American project, Vacancy, was less impressive but a decent start. Armored is his second feature and while the visual signature is recognizable, the film never rises above the level of a B movie.

It's a shame because the main premise has all the ingredients for twists and turns and the ensemble cast featuring many quality actors should be able to deliver. Antal could have made a great heist film but instead goes for an action flick. Then again he could have shot a cool action flick but it doesn't really deliver in that department either.

What you are left with is one implausible situation after another, a group of poorly sketched characters bicker and fight over a sum of money. If you look past the sharp cinematography, cast and the tight music score, you're left with what could have been a below average direct-to-video featuring Van Damme or Seagal.

This was probably the most disappointing movie for me in quite some time.

This is one of those movies I will not say is good, nor bad. It is a very mediocre film. The cast is what, pretty much holds it together. I have surely seen better scripts, and story lines. The action scenes are decent. ...And, oh yeah....why would anyone freakin' care that Laurence Fishburne has gained weight??? Really?!?! That is pure, ignorant, moronic, delusional, immature reasons to not like a movie. Very petty. Get a life. It is really sad, to see that we, in general think like that. Larry is still a strong actor.

My overall reaction to this film, is to go see it as an 'early bird', Matinée, or wait for it on DVD.

Sandwiched between his VACANCY and PREDATORS, ARMORED is director Nimrod Antal's best film, although to be fair that isn't saying much. It's one of those single-location action movies with a relatively low budget (by Hollywood standards), most of which has been spent on assembling an ensemble cast of tough-guy actors. Matt Dillon, Jean Reno, Laurence Fishburne and Fred Ward, all of whom have appeared in great movies, are in supply here, albeit in supporting roles.

It's also a chance to find out what happened to SCREAM's Skeet Ulrich, if anybody cares these days. Sadly, there are two problems with ARMORED; the first is the no-name lead Columbus Short, a guy whose acting skills are pretty insipid, so you don't really care much about whether his character wins or loses. The second is the PG-13 rating, which eliminates the kind of hard-hitting violence of the early DIE HARDs that this film so desperately needs.

Saying that, it turns out to be a pretty entertaining little thriller. The storyline is basic in the extreme, but I'm a sucker for these single-location movies and in some ways the simplicity of the plot is more appealing than something in which the plotting is overdone, like MAN ON A LEDGE. The narrative is lean, pared-down and propelled by some good, surprising twists thrown into the mix. All of the big names give solid performances, and if it does get a little cheesy at times then that's par for the course. I'd rather a film be cheesy and entertaining than realistic and dull!