Blood & Guts

Horror movies are fairly unoriginal, predictable and lame at the best of times. This is even worse, being amateurish, badly acted and badly produced. The plot is close to non-existent it's so random and unfathomable.

Avoid.

... had it been funny, sexy, and not taken itself too seriously. The acting talent is pretty much the same, though the audio and visual FX are better too, which is surprising given that this appears to be on an even lower budget.

A horror/teen/college film. Young people finding new ways to party in an abandoned house. Combine stories of a killer and ghosts with a wedgie board and some nerds trying to crash the party.

Unlike paranormal activity, it doesn't take itself seriously so it works. It's also far sexier. Otherwise, it's very similar, taking place almost entirely in a house set in the 1980s.

There is such a thing as parody and parody can be very bad and still be very good. There is such a thing as camp and camp can be very bad and still be very good. There is also such a thing as flat out bad - nothing can save flat out bad and this dreck could be submitted as definitive of flat out bad. Not scary, not funny, badly filmed, possibly the worst sound I have ever not been able to avoid hearing, This is the first 'movie' I have ever attempted to watch. Literally - this is the first movie I have ever started and then simply given up on. I made it through twenty minutes and realized there was simply no reason to go on with the movies and stopped watching lest I start believing there was no reason to go on with life. The people who have given this movie good reviews are either high or getting paid.

To illustrate just how low I will go (in several directions: Zardoz had moments of genius, Piranhaconda could be seen in certain lights as an act of cinematic wonder, any Chuck Norris movie features better acting, every youtube video ever features better filming, every Michael Bay film ever has featured better dialogue, Bad Taste featured genuinely funny gore.

Just don't.

I have no idea how anyone can give this movie high marks. I didn't rent it thinking it was the next great horror flick, the next great horror spoof, or the next great low-budget horror spoof. Obviously, this isn't meant to scare, but one fatal flaw with the production entirely sapped the joy out of the viewing experience. The sound editing was horrible. I had to work the volume control the entire movie. You can imagine how difficult it is to get into something - even a low-budget spoof - when you're either turning the volume up or down, or trying to anticipate the next time you have to do so. The regular dialogue is very low, and all screams, noises, etc., are VERY loud. We're not talking about toggling between 5 and 7 on the volume control, finding a happy medium at 6. We're talking toggling between 2 and 9 on the volume where it is virtually impossible to leave the volume alone. Again, this movie might be a decent example of what it is meant to be, but you're going to be spending so much time adjusting your volume control that you'll never have the chance to enjoy it.

Stupid Teenagers Must Die" directed by Jeff C. Smith has accomplished being one of the funniest horror flicks out there right now.

He goes back to basics with this 80's oriented film that has you glued to the screen with it's goofiness and classic horror situations like the lights all go out and then the famous stupid question that is always asked comes, "Is someone in here?" You know with the whole "C'mon guys quit playing around" kinda thing.

A group of kids get together at Murder McGee's house to have a séance hoping to provoke his spirit into coming out to play. McGee murdered his family in the house and it's supposed to be haunted. Kane with his Michael Jackson like jacket and the beautiful Julie arrive at the house with Madelyn and Alfie sitting at the table looking smug. Maddy doesn't want Kane there at first but then it works out.

Tiffany the petite little blonde bounces in looking for Mike who didn't show up while the two lesbians Sissy and Jamie continue to moan and salivate on each other in excitement. Ryan the dork in the pink alligator on the pocket shirt who can't wait to get his ass a seat at the table next to anything female. Two geeks that must trail this crowd try to get involved but end up just taking a tour of the house instead Considering this film had a very tight budget I think it turned out great, there was plenty of blood to make use of on that set. I liked being able to laugh when something really awful was going on, "Cory Assink" was hilarious and reminded me of an Ashton Kutcher in his prime but a lot less annoying. When he found Madelyn and tried to tell the group what happened had me laughing my ass off.

Director Jeff C. Smith started his film career back in high school but says his projects back then will never be viewed for the sole purpose that they are positively awful. "Stupid Teenagers Must Die" is far from being a flop, it's everything any B movie lover every dreamed off. Blood and Boobs is a lethal combination in the horror world and this one has a little of both.