Open Graves

Handsome American guy is vacationing in Spain when some guy in a shop asks him if he has healthy desires and gives him a centuries old antique board game for nothing. No, sir, I see nothing odd or sketchy about that. He takes the board game and gets the other characters to play it with him. Hilarity ensues. I mean evil ensues. Oh no, you die for real if you lose the game.

So it's an about evil board game that kills people. This would be a tough premise to pull off effectively under the best circumstances. They don't really pull it off here. Eliza Dushku is always good and the rest of the cast is serviceable enough. The dialogue is more than a little stilted and awkward. The plot is a mish-mash of other movies about cursed, evil stuff that's cursed. They way it is set up takes away nearly all of the suspense. There's a fair amount of CGI and it's really bad even for the time. It's bad enough that it kind of ruins the impact of some of the death scenes. The ending is just terrible. I mean throw stuff at your TV bad. The ending alone brought this one from a 5 to a 3.

Open Graves starts out as something at least different enough from the repetitive ghost stories that became too common in the last few years.

Well technically it shares many similar aspects, but remains reasonably different mainly through methods of offing the victims. Unfortunately not different enough.

As oversaturate formula demands, we quickly learn several characters are going to die because of a certain event, and after the first few deaths we already know how everything's will play out. After which we're subjected to scenes of the remaining characters, or at least the central ones trying to figure out what's causing the deaths before it's their turn.

And of course, Open Graves follows the tradition of similar mystery- related films in the sense that once the cast discover an objective, any characterization disappears, the mystery itself becoming supposedly more important than giving the audience any interest in the people trying to solve it.

Oh Eliza! Whatever possessed you to be part of this nightmare? The only "horror" about this film is that it was made at all. A group of nice-looking booze and sex fueled 20-something's play an antique game, and then start dying. Luckily for them, even though the box containing the game was passed down from the 15th century Spanish Inquisition, all the cards are in pristine condition AND conveniently printed in English! WOW, what luck! There are absolutely no surprises or suspense whatsoever, as this has been done many times before in many better ways. Sadly, even the gratuitous sex scenes generally associated with this genre are almost non-existent, apparently to devote more screen time to the horrible deaths. Out of deference to Eliza Dushku, I cannot give this the one star rating it truly deserves. The rest of the actors are mediocre at best, God-awful at worst. All are completely forgettable, as is the film itself within fifteen minutes of viewing. Skip it, even from the bargain bin.

OK, so I know better than to watch movies on SciFi . . . er, sorry . . . SyFy. Or shifafa. Or whatever it is now. So sue me. I spent my whole Saturday doing advisory-board brainstorming for a nonprofit. I can be forgiven for flopping into my armchair and wanting to watch some movie I'd never seen, rather than read Proust in the original or learn how to play the oud.

Which is to say, I didn't deserve Open Graves. Of which I saw none, incidentally. Were there any? Did I fall asleep? Why is it called this?

Some icky visuals. Not many scares. As with too many films in modern horror films, no reasons are given--apart from shared humanity--to care about any of these people. Half a point, though, for the legless entrepreneur, who was clichéd but did have one good scene.

It all sort of plays like Final Destination delivered via a board game. The game does have an intriguing look to it, and it involves one of my favorite old conundrums. I'll give it that much. The drawback there is that the game possessed more personality than most of the characters.

As for the end, if you didn't see it coming, then I think YOU fell asleep. Somewhere back around the dawn of the genre.

Okay, OPEN GRAVES is poor. Surprisingly poor, considering the effort that has gone into this low budget production; although it's a US-financed movie it was shot in Spain with a Spanish director and supporting cast. And yet it turns out to be completely horrible, which is all thanks to a lacklustre storyline.

A group of brain-dead surfers are the unlikeable protagonists in this film, among their number the minor horror star Eliza Dushku (WRONG TURN). They get mixed up in a dark world of voodoo and horror when they start playing a game which sees them dying for real. It's much like the 1990s film JUMANJI, where the board game came to life and took the kids on an adventure, except with a horror slant.

Not that there's much in the way of horror here. This a murkily-shot production where swathes of boredom are interspersed with a few mildly gory supernatural death sequences. For some reason, the filmmakers are reliant on very poor CGI effects to keep the movie going, and it sinks the production further. OPEN GRAVES is a real stinker, that's for sure.