Alone in the Dark

This is a film that should spark change. Real change in the world of film! It's one of those rare productions that cause a ripple and everyone get's together and says, YES we need change! - and that change is that we need to be able to give a film 0/10!!

You're probably wondering why I let my eyeballs suffer such awful torment for the duration but I am slightly masochistic and I wouldn't want to review a title unless it had been seen in it's (almost) entirety.

I'm not sure where to begin, but I would like to keep my review brief because I've already wasted enough time on this film. Firstly I watched the 3D version.. 3D??? it was barely 1D and the ridiculous glasses just made things look red, which gave me a headache. I must have fallen unconscious for the next hour because I don't remember anything.

The premise of the film is that a club of friends get together to try and work out strange goings on, (they're going for a cross between Scoobie Do and Most Haunted). One of the girls has a birthday and so they all argue a bit and decide to go to a spooky wood called Harrow. According to the computer hacker character, wikipedia states that a witch perished there and made the place haunted.

Then when we get there we find out that it's got a wooden hut and inside is very similar to the haunted hotel in the Shining, complete with blood tidal wave (made with lots of buckets of ketchup). The story doesn't really go anywhere at this point and instead the director starts acting and talking to Ric Mayal in tongues, which is kind of hard to understand because it's quite muffly.

Then it cuts back to the friends who are dead/dying because of the witch's curse. That's it. The End. 0/10

Very Random cast for a horror film, but that's kind of what made me want to see it in the first place.

Not a typical slasher film, far from it. It's more a slow burning psychological film really.

Rik Mayall is on top form! And Jason Donovon puts in a good performance as a sleazy internet hermit. Richard Waters is very good too.

Got the typical qualities of a horror movie, in nudity and gore! The plot is quite complex, but it does get you thinking which is never a bad thing.

Good film, worth a watch...

This is the worth film ever. No structure, poor acting, too dark, repetitive dialog. Just wasting time and an unclear plot. At the beginning, with the long winded techno intros, I should have stopped. I knew it was going to be bad, but I went on. Wasted time I will never get back. Take my word, really. I wish this film could be burned and forgotten. British actors who can't do good American accents. Expressions and intonations are British. Just a terrible POS.

Not even my ole mate Rik could save this one and yes the 1 star is just for him, god rest his soul. Too long, dull and nonsensical, a total disappointment and hours of my life I can never reclaim.

Before I begin I would just like to say that I am a massive fan of cult horrors, which I believed this had the potential to be.

I found this title and thought... "I bet it will be cool"....."eclectic cast and a decent enough synopsis"...."should be interesting" ..urmm.... Well..... I learned the hard way.

English people talking with an unconvincing American accent? A storyline which just about made sense, but only if you try real hard? And the acting? well it is the only situation in my life, that I am glad Jason Donovan was involved. Rik Mayall as ever did a Sterling job, but the rest of the cast were mediocre, at the very best!

I don't want to spoil the plot, but if I am honest, I struggled to find one. There is one there, but you need to really be on your toes to find it, you are certainly not gonna be smacked in the face with it!

The effects and camera work I did like, but that is what I was expecting, use of interesting camera shots and effects, not necessarily ground breaking stuff, but more than worthy of this style of film. It is just a shame that they were linked together so badly with such an appalling plot.

If you like films which don't make much sense, has dodgy acting with unconvincing accents, and the potential to be a great cult horror but just falls short of the mark, then this is for you ...