Evil Bong

I was at Charles Band's Full Moon Horror Road Show a couple weeks ago and managed to score a free copy of Evil Bong, due to be released October 24th. This was the movie they were most actively promoting. Kristyn Green, who plays Janet in the movie, was in attendance and they were auctioning off a prop of Eebee, the evil bong.

If you're not familiar with Full Moon Features, they're headed by B-movie veteran Charles Band, and are mostly responsible for direct to video features the likes of Subspecies, the Puppet Master series, and Castle Freak. Full Moon's goal was to create low budget horror, sci-fi, and fantasy films while retaining a modest budget feel. He has managed to do that by using film and incorporating decent soundtracks to his features.

One part movie, one part marketing device; Evil Bong features cameos from several Full Moon features including Jack Deth of Trancers, Phil Fondacaro of Decadent Evil, Ooga Booga from Doll Graveyard, and I believe a jack-in-the-box from Demonic Toys. Also, it serves as advertisement for Band's line of extremely tacky bras, Monster Bras, that include latex mouths, sharks heads, or other excessively silly latex creations affixed to the cups. During the Road Show, shirts, DVDs, toy replicas of the Evil Bong, and Monster Bras were on sale.

So, just how is this horror comedy? About what you'd expect, not that great but entertaining. The characters are very stereotypical stoner characters. Though the portrayal of marijuana is not entirely insulting. After all, it is the bong that is evil, not the herb. There are plenty of marijuana leaf animated fades to the next scene, not unlike what they use on That 70s Show which gives the movie a sitcom feel. The soundtrack is pretty good. The actors give their best, but their best isn't very good. Bill Moseley, of Texas Chainsaw Massacre II, House of 1000 Corpses, and The Devil's Rejects, makes an appearance. Tommy Chong does too.

College nerd, Alistair (David Weidoff), moves in with stoners; Brett, Larnell, and Bachman. Soon, Larnell's special delivery arrives, a large 1960s bong from New Orleans the original owner claims is possessed, which he bought through a classified ad.

The bong is named Eebie and begins to take on more human characteristics the more they use it. Eventually, it begins to draw from them their very souls. That is when the user finds themselves in the bong world, populated by strippers both topless and in Band's Monster Bras, as well as other characters from Full Moon Features.

The bong's previous owner, Jimbo Leary (Tommy Chong), shows up to do battle with the bong if he can just keep it together long enough.

Unique venture from Charles Band's Wizard Entertainment and directed by Band himself. The tale of a bunch of drug taking dudes getting hold of a bong that takes them to a weird 'Bong World' is imaginative but poorly plotted and quite tiresome. Cast is good, especially Robin Sydney and Kristyn Green as the female leads. Cameos link to other Full Moon films, Jack Deth finds himself lost in Bong World but fails to achieve any Trancing. Ugly doll from 'Doll Graveyard' pops up (kinda literally) and Gingerdead Man (here voiced by John Carl Buechler). Little Phil (as in Fondacaro) seems to be looking for vampires again and Bill Moseley poddles around looking lost. I suspect Tommy Chong was cast because of the obvious rhyming promotional abilities with him on board. Given little to do, he is (cue joke drugs reference) wasted. Not really a horror or Sci Fi, this is just another Pauly Shore film without Shore and with a vague aspect of what usually makes Full Moon films work. Witless, Charmless and Irritating in equal measures - almost sad to watch because of it.

I've seen these movies float around for years, but never had the chance to watch until recently. The setup and opening of the movie looks kind of like a porno or sketch comedy skit or both, and it just made everything better.

The bong and all the special effects are a product of their time, but still added to the whole mess. Nothing about this movie struck me as serious, not that I think it was meant to. All in all, it was actually a lot better than I had been led to believe all these years!

If you need a background movie, Evil Bong will do just fine. Same for movie nights sans family, or any smoke sesh that needs some entertainment.

This movie isn't funny or good. I can't believe there are six more of them.

Stoners certainly have been fodder for many jokes when it comes to comedy. And this movie keeps up the tradition, with an appropriately laid back feel to it. It takes a while to get where it's going, and, truth be told, it gets tiresome at points, but does redeem itself by generating some genuine chuckles. Straight laced college student Alistair (David Weidoff) moves in with a trio of stoners, one of whom purchases a bong from a seller in High Times, a bong that turns out to be an ancient, evil entity (voiced with relish by Michelle Mais) determined to put the whole human race in a permanent stupor. It's up to Alistair to make the world safe for people who want the freedom to get stoned if and when they want. Sometimes this movie falls flat, but it definitely has its moments, too. A distinct goof ball vibe and an overall likability make it passable enough. It ain't no "Up in Smoke", but it ain't so bad, either. It's got frequent scene transitions that give it the feel of a TV show, which is silly but hard to dislike. It really hits its stride with the arrival of the perfectly cast Tommy Chong, as Jimbo, the previous owner of the bong (the thing was sold without his knowledge) who knows the dangers of the object. The young cast is amiable enough; female co-stars Robin Sydney as Luann and Kristyn Green as Janet make for fine eye candy, and in fact there's a fair amount of bare female flesh for fans, with some notable designer bras. There are special guest appearances from the likes of Phil Fondacaro (a Full Moon veteran), Tim Thomerson, once again essaying the role of Jack Deth (uttering the immortal line "Dry hair is for squids."), and Bill Moseley, but these guys are seen so briefly one will likely wish the filmmakers gave them more to do. (The Gingerdead Man makes a cameo as well!) Still, this is an engaging enough comedy - modest, to be sure - but easy to take and pretty innocuous in the end. Six out of 10.