Diary of a Cannibal

I just HAVE to write a comment of what I'm experiencing right now. I am shocked by what I just saw, and not because of the contents, but by the way they were brought to the screen.

I remember the movie's story being on the news, as it is based on actual events. Unfortunately, there is hardly anything left of the true story, and it is turned into a vague 'romance' story.

The filming, editing, acting and effects in this movie are so terrible, that it is a horror movie in the fact that it is simply horrific. Don't let anybody tell you this movie is good, they are lying. It looks like a project of a starting film student, who is about to be kicked out for lack of talent.

The best example to the sadness of this attempt at film, is when the headless body is shown. In the place where the head would be is a black block that seems to be drawn on the image in Microsoft Paint! I'm going to go back to the video store tomorrow and not ask for my money back. I'm going to ask them to remove this DVD from their assortment. My 3 euro probably doubled the amount of money they paid for it to begin with.

Diary of a Cannibal (2006)

1/2 (out of 4)

Ulli Lommel is back once again with yet another "based on true events" film. This time he tells the story of the German man who was sent to prison for killing another man and eating him. In this film, the story is changed around to a man and woman who meet on the internet and he wants her to eat him. The story of the German man was better told in the film Cannibal, which I viewed earlier in the year. That film was the sickest film I had ever seen and had me on the verge of throwing up but I can honestly say this film had me close to throwing up but for different reasons. Lommel shows once again that he's turned into the biggest hack master in the world delivering yet another horrible film. I'll give him some credit that he changed to story to a somewhat interesting one but he does nothing with it. Everything from the performances to the special effects are horrid so that doesn't leave much going for the film. It's really sad to see Lommel selling himself out with this incredibly horrid film but Lions Gate keeps buying them so I guess he'll keep making them.

(2006) Diary Of A Cannibal HORROR

Art direction, cinematography, produced, and directed by Ulli Lommel directing a straight to rental, shown on via cam-corder style showcasing events about how a normal teenage girl end up eating her boyfriend, full of pointless passages from the Bible etc... linking to cannibalism. Supposed to be based on an actual incident somewhere in Virginia, Tennessee similar to "The Brown Bunny" which consist of pointless scenes of affection with one another and it wasn't until more than an hour later that viewers finally realize that it was the boyfriends request for her to do this. What do we know from this understandably is absolutely nothing.

Oh Ulli, why do I still act like a cinematic masochist by continuing to watch your unwatchable 'based on a true story' (albiet EXTREMELY loosely) waste of celluloid. Perhaps I've answered my own question. I AM a masochist, either that or the last true blooded optimist. Perhaps this one will be better. Maybe i won't long for the sweet embrace of death to keep me from viewing until the movie's end. Alas no. No such luck. i had to suffer through this spectacularly awful movie. Atrociously acted, shot worse than a student film. Unentertaining even in it's insipidness. DO NOT watch. DO NOT even let the idea enter your head.

I rented this movie looking for a typical gore-fest a la Romero. Was I in for a disappointment. It turned out the be the worst 82 minutes I've spent in a long time. Something could have been done with the story, reputedly based on actual events, but it was not. The set and location shots must have cast the production company hundreds of dollars. The were endless flashbacks that conveyed nothing and were put in solely to add some time to the film. It's a shame that there isn't some sort of "Gong Show" system that would have nipped this one in the bud before it contaminated the viewing public. I don't recall having seen an Ulli Lommel film before but at least I am now forewarned to stay away. Please, if anyone recommends this movie to you, I would suggest that they immediately seek professional help and counseling.