Postal

Uwe Boll has done the impossible: create a game adaptation that stays at least somewhat true to the game; he has turned a game full of antisocial and offensive content into a movie full of antisocial and offensive content. So, as an adaptation, it's a success.

Unfortunately, it's still Uwe Boll we are dealing with here, so don't expect the movie to be actually any good. while it does have it's moment, "Postal" wears out his welcome very fast and becomes a pain to sit through.

At its core, Postal is a satire on the United States, as done by a twelve year old kid. Boll seems to think that offensiveness is linearly proportional to comedic value: the more offensive, the funnier, and the more exaggerated the funnier. This results in a movie that sets new levels of tastelessness while being extremely hit and miss. Yes, some gags do work but it seems to be pure luck. High points include the director satirizing himself, and people getting hit very violently by trucks and other vehicles. Low points include..well pretty much everything else.

After the initial surprise wears off, Postal simply becomes a bore to watch. Yes there is a good joke every and good point ten minutes, but everything else consists of hordes of annoying characters shooting and chasing each other all over the place for what seems to be an eternity.

This probably would have worked as a short movie, but it's just not enough content for something that lasts over 90 minutes (although it feels twice as long). There are nice ideas and nice tries, but they get hopelessly lost in endless and pointless action scenes and content that is offensive just for the sake of it 4/10

Uwe Boll's best Movie. Better than "You Don't Mess with the Zohan". Neither of those statements are saying particularly much, but to say the least, this movie is actually worth watching. Postal is essentially an absurdist farce comprised of characters designed to be caricatures of the worst parts of humanity. Assuming this was not some cosmic coincidence whereby Uwe Boll managed to write and direct a movie that actually entertains it's alleged target audience, I feel confident in saying that this movie actually hits it's mark. Knowing the spirit and tone of the source material, this is actually a pretty decent video game adaptation. The movie is essentially a Bollian journey into Tromaville territory: from the crass socio-political commentary, through the excessive violence, coarse language, gratuitous full frontal Dave Foley nudity, right down to the self deprecating director cameo. It's intentionally offensive to everyone. Despite itself, on some level this movie works. It's weird that I seem to only have good things to say about this movie, seeing as it is not a good movie... but, dare I say, it's not bad either. 5/10

After being laid off from his factory job, getting snubbed at the welfare office, and witnessing his bedridden wife cheating on him with his next door neighbour, the once mild-mannered Postal Dude (Zack Ward) visits his Uncle Dave (Dave Foley) to take part in a plan which entails stealing and re-selling loads of items from the hot new toy craze of Krotchy dolls. Little do they know, that a small group of Taliban members is also planning the same heist at the same time.

Could it be? Uwe Boll finally pulls through with a great video game adaption? Well. . . no. But, he did finally manage to make a good and entertaining one! Say what you will about Boll and his complete lack of artistic talent (and I'll agree with it), but he does know how to stir up some controversy. Whether it's threatening Michael Bay, boxing critics, or making an extremely offensive and perverse new comedy, Uwe can cause problems. Now, obviously, as it's an Uwe Boll film, you're going to have to expect many of the negative elements that go with it: poor acting/writing/etc. However, as the film is so obviously meant to simply offend at any cost, it's not hard to overlook a lot of the flaws and just sit back and laugh at the stupidly ridiculous spectacle that is Postal. I mean, Uwe Boll actually stands onstage in his own film, playing himself, and says all of his movies are funded using Nazi gold and that children in the crowd arouse him. At least he's finally be honest, ya know? Anyway, if Tom Cruise, 9/11, cults, crap, trailers, racism, swearing, Dave Foley, police brutality, fat people, hicks, the handicapped, and over-the-top violence (often against children) sound like things worthy of a laugh, then you'll probably love this. If you're easily offended or reserve your giggles for a more sophisticated type of humour, then just keep on walking because this film is not for you.

Final verdict: 6/10.

-AP3-

While Uwe Boll has garnered a reputation as one of the worst directors of all time, I can only surmise that those particular critics either have a very limited awareness of cinema (and clearly have not seen any films by Ulli Lommel...or Eli Roth), or are so embittered by their profession that they cannot see the insane, driven vision beneath the surface of the German mastermind's work. Those who have followed his career with masochistic pleasure have concluded that his current works have shown a legitimate upgrade in quality, and "Postal" is one of his most impressive films; while yet another loose take on a video game, Boll's proficiency with narrative structure (he co-wrote the script with Bryan C. Knight) has gotten better, as has his scene composition (few out-of-nowhere edits away from the action); and placed on the grounds of an absurd satire (a genre that many filmmakers bungle), Boll shows unfettered confidence and drive, even if the end result comes up short. Ditching the nauseating sitcom-structure that has turned Judd Apatow's films into crudely saccharine cinematic gold-mines, Boll goes for the subversive, anti-commercial jugular with "Postal"--he seems on a mission to top one offensive gag with one even more offensive, and the film (true to its title) is an onslaught of un-PC humor from start to finish. While I will say I laughed often at "Postal" and its politics (which echo the anti-consumerist diatribes that made "Fight Club" a cult classic), the comic timing is probably only spot-on about half the time; the remainder of the film's humor flows out of the absurdity of its premise: Dude (Zack Ward, the red-haired bully from "A Christmas Story") is an unemployed, lower-class guy having a bad day--in a pinch for cash, he and Uncle Dave (Dave Foley) concoct a plan to steal a shipment of Krotchy dolls from a Nazi-themed amusement park (run by Boll himself in a hilarious cameo); meanwhile, Osama bin Laden and the Taliban (camped out in the back of a convenience store, natch) are also converging on the coveted toy. Yet the plot is really just an excuse for Boll to let loose with a skewering of stereotypes, history, and blue-collar madness: while "Postal" could have merely been tasteless and humorless, its own sensitivity toward mankind's collectively repressed id shows a greater existential curiosity toward our "post-9/11" society than any Oscar-nominated tearjerker to come down the pike.

This is Uwe Boll's best film to date. That being said, it's still crap. Abundant plot holes, crudely forced shock tactics, a shallow attempt at satire, and the worst director in the entire world are just the tip of the iceberg on why this movie blows. I hate Boll's work. I hate his belligerence. He should not be allowed near a camera.

The ultimate question, however, is did I laugh? Yes. In spite of everything , I laughed. This movie is Uwe Boll's "F*^# you!" statement to the world. He's going to continue making movies whether we like it or not, and he's actually a lot better at crude humor than any sort of horror, adaptation or whatever random dung heap genre he sticks his nose into. He even makes fun of himself in this movie during a cameo between him and the actual creator of the postal franchise. For some weird reason, I respect that.

Zack Ward was fantastic, and really should be getting better work. This may be a rare time when an actors participation in a Boll film didn't herald their imminent career death. He proved himself to be an adequate action actor, and I'm hoping this gets him some publicity. The same cannot be said for Verne Troyer or Dave Foley, who are circling the drain. (I still laughed though.)

Is it worth the price of admission? Nope, but it's so much closer than any of Boll's films have ever been. Boll may be a deluded, stubborn and angry man,(at the Q&A he explained to us in a very serious tone, how postal was a gutsy, intelligent satire) and his work may be awful, but Boll genuinely loves films and wants to make them. He wants to get better and who knows? Maybe one day Boll will produce something worthwhile. Tasteless director John Waters invented Hairspray, which was thought to be impossible. Maybe Boll will one day harness his ambition towards film-making in a productive way. Or not. Who cares?

You shouldn't see postal if you have an option, but if you don't, you might giggle a few times, in spite of yourself. However, if you're a moron, you'll love it!

-Max

P.S: Boll has always clashed with wheelchair-bound "AintItCool" news leader, Harry Knowles. They don't get along at all. Why do I reference this? There is a mentally challenged character in the movie who begs for money from the seat of a motorized wheelchair. Can you guess his first name?