Deadly Water

While I have actually watched the 2006 movie "Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep" once before, back when it was a newly released movie, I have to admit that I can only remember the movie's title, but not the contents of the story. And thus I opted to watch the movie again here in 2025, as I was given the opportunity to do so.

Writers Abram Cox, Sean Keller, Nicholas Garland and Brian D. Young actually put together a nice enough script and storyline. Sure, it was somewhat bordering on being a generic creature feature, but there was something entertaining enough about the narrative to prevent it form succumbing to being a generic movie.

Of the entire cast ensemble, I was only familiar with Jack Scalia, Charlie O'Connell, Mike Dopud and Christa Campbell. The acting performances in the movie were actually fair for a movie such as this.

The CGI animated tentacles were pretty terrible to look at in some scenes, but looked alright in others. But to make matters worse, then the giant squid was apparently growling underwater, as there as an audible growling sound whenever it was attacking someone. That was just so stupid that it was an insult to everyone.

My rating of directors Tibor Takács and John Blush's 2006 movie "Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep" lands on a five out of ten stars.

Thirty years ago, Ray Reiter (Charlie O'Connell) witnessed the death of his parents by the kraken. Determined to avenge their murders, he joins a perilous high seas expedition that brings him face to face with the kraken, the guardian of the Greek Opal. Oh, and there is a crime lord involved in here somewhere, too.

This film is pretty awful. It looks like it was made for the SyFy network (and probably was), and its star power is Charlie O'Connell, the cheap version of Jerry O'Connell with a nastier voice. There is a part where they are looking for a Trojan mask. I have no idea how it got underwater, or how they had photos of it before it was surfaced (although two others exist).

Product placement from Diet Pepsi. How Pepsi felt this in any way helped their image is beyond me.

The soft pop rock totally not necessary... takes away from the film, which would have been better with a non-vocal score.

Christa Campbell appears, but this does not save the film.

HEADS UP: While watching KRAKEN: TENTACLES OF THE DEEP, you might notice the pungent aroma of months-old, sunbaked chum.

It's the tedious tale of a man seeking revenge for his parents, who were killed by the titular terror. There are also some treasure hunters, along with the ne'er-do-wells who seek to abscond with the treasure.

How could this be bad?

Enter the multi-armed mess itself, a cartoonish CGI abomination that's so utterly preposterous that it takes you immediately out of the movie and leaves you there. Even the fish in MR. LIMPET was more realistic. And more frightening!

TIP: To recreate the feeling of watching this "movie" without having to actually sit through it, simply sit with wet spaghetti on your head until you can't take it any more...

I've never read JAWS by Peter Benchley but have of course seen the movie andJAWS is considered to be one of the few films that improves greatly onthe book . Much of this I'm told is to do with a large number of subplots being jettisoned in the adaptation , leaving only the main plot of a man eating shark and of the protagonists mission to kill it . One can't help thinking the producers of this movie should have done something similar

The major problem is that much of the running time is taken up with a bunch of bad guys wanting to get their hands on a very expensive Greek opal . In many ways the story resembles another Benchley story THE DEEP which might not be a problem as such but when you've got a film called KRAKEN:TENTACLES OF THE DEEP then a prospective audience is expecting a giant squid to be the focus of the story rather than humans . The producers seem aware of this shoehorning a squid attack just to remind the audience there's a squid central to the plot when in fact it's the producers themselves who obviously need reminding

As it's produced by Nu Image Films the production values are rather poor with the squid being a rather obvious CGI creation . Like nearly every film featuring a giant squid it makes a roaring sound ( Squids are mute ) and can grab people off the decks of ships ( Considered impossible by leading scientists ) and of course when someone gets devoured underwater there's a big bubble of blood rising to the surface . Not only that but biologists are all in their early twenties , have blonde hair and walk around in bikini tops thereby exposing their admirable mammary glands . One can't help thinking Nu Image Films and The Sci-Fi channel are in cahoots to get more guys to sign up to university science classes . I doubt however if anyone who worked on this film would be able to spell the word science

So here in Oregon we have our share of crappy weather Saturdays. I personally choose to enjoy a day of lame Sci-Fi (or SyFy, whatever) channel movies. Yes they're all B-movies, but some are just so bad they're GREAT!

The Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep, however, is NOT one of those.

This film puts the UN in unwatchable. The plot is so thin you couldn't cut it with a razor. The acting is atrocious! Especially Charlie O'Conner! My god is he bad! His acting in this film actually makes Victoria Pratt and Jack Scalia look like Oscar nominees! While we're on the subject, Mr. Scalia is supposed to be Greek. But his accent changes constantly from European, to Austrailian, to non-existent! The directing? I don't know if the director even showed up!

My suggestion? Skip this one. It's boring, contrived, nonsense. Too much silly, predictable treasure hunting, not enough giant squid.