Ulli Lommel's Zodiac Killer

Zodiac Killer. 1 out of 10. Worst acting ever. No really worst acting ever. David Hess (Last House on the Left…. No the one from the seventies…. Rent it it's really good) is the worst of the bunch (Pretty stiff competition but he is amazingly god-awful.) One would be hard pressed to find a home movie participant with such an awkward camera presence. The film actually screeches to a stunning painful halt when he is on the screen.

Not that the film actually has any redeeming qualities for Mr. Hess to ruin. It is filmed with a home movie camera and by the looks of things a pretty old one complete with attached boom mike. No post production either. Come on there has to be some shovelware a five year old computer could use that could clean up this picture. Throw in bizarre stock footage pictures of autopsy's and aircraft carrier takeoffs and this is one visually screwed up picture. The autopsy pictures are interjected the way Italian cannibal films interject those god-awful real life animal killings. And the Navy footage is supposed to be some anti war statement (Cause we know all the bloodthirsty maniacs join the Navy) What in the world is Lion's Gate is doing releasing this garbage? It would embarrass Troma. The plot is about the Zodiac Killer (Last seen in Dirty Harry …. No the one from the seventies…. Rent it it's really good) Somebody gets shot in the stomach in LA and the cops assume the Zodiac Killer is back? Uh-huh. What can you expect from a movie that doesn't know that DSM IV is a book not a psychiatric disorder and where the young killer older man relationship resembles that of a congressional page and closeted congressman? Yeah eighties haircuts and production values meet a Nambla subplot. Sign me up.

1 is being pretty generous here. I really enjoyed BOOGEYMAN, even though it is not really the BOOGEYMAN promoted on the DVD cover and we all know it! It creeped me out. But this film, it is something else. For being directed by a guy who has been around a long time and directed a lot of movies, it looks like it was shot on a VHS camcorder by a 10 year old! The story and acting are atrocious! David Hess, you have let me down too. After playing one of the most menacing villains in film history, you have resorted to this? The story and acting may have been able to be forgiven however, if anyone had taken the time to make the video look somewhat professional. There are a LOT of shot on video films out there that don't look like it, or at least aren't so obvious that it detracts your attention from the film. I can't say it is the worst movie ever, because I couldn't make it through the entire film, but it is certainly close.

I can't believe that this movie even made it to video, and that video rental stores are willing to put it on their shelves. I literary asked for a refund. Take away the fact that the movie has no historical truth it, and it is still the worse movie ever found in a video store. It is not even good enough to be called a B rated movie. Do not waste your money or your time on this movie. Just listing to the voice over and the horrible music made me sick. Anyone involved with this movie should be pulled from the union, gives the industry a black mark, but after watching most of this movie I really don't think anyone involved is a union member.

I'm not sure if this is the most incompetent horror movie ever made or a satire of unparalleled genius. As a long time fan of Ulli Lommel and his unique brand of film-making, I guess I should give him the benefit of the doubt. I would watch Zodiac Killer again in order to make a more informed decision but I'm afraid I might burst a lung by laughing too strenuously. Regardless of whether the film is intentionally comedic or not, the fact remains that Zodiac Killer has to be seen to be believed. I guess that is reason enough to hire it.

Zodiac Killer begins inauspiciously. Michael, a pretty typical psycho, works in a home for the elderly and overhears a man plotting to kill his grandmother. Michael takes it upon himself to be an avenging angel for the aged and blows the man away. It is only when reporters compare the shooting to the infamous and unsolved "Zodiac" murders that Michael decides to be become a Zodiac copycat and impersonate the Zodiac killer. Up until this point, I had assumed that this was going to be a typical zero budget slasher film but Ulli Lommel is nothing if not innovative. Instead, the film becomes something of a cinematic collage of flashbacks, stock footage, still photographs, interviews and recycled clips from old Ulli Lommel films.

In addition to the disconcerting and unusual story telling techniques, the film also clearly switches tone. I refuse to believe that the clips of war footage, interspersed between Michael's ranting about how serial killers are pursued by the authorities while soldiers are allowed to kill with impunity, could be anything other than satirical. The same goes for the hilarious e-mails Michael exchanges with Zodiac expert, Simon Vale. Michael begins his correspondence by describing his mental illness and asks for further details about the murders. This doesn't appear to bother Simon at all and before too long he is leaving long winded messages on Michael's mobile phone. The inane happenings continue with a series of mind boggling TV interviews, which I somewhat optimistically believe to be a parody of the cult of celebrity that surrounds many serial killers. I also hope that the actual murders are a send up of the unbelievable scenarios that pollute most horror films. For example, Michael breaks into a house wearing a gas mask and opens a cannister of nerve gas - while literally standing less than three metres away from two women, who rather amazingly fail to notice his presence. The scene where Michael hides behind a victim's couch and observes the man watching TV is as illogical as it is hilarious. The entire scenario with the pizza delivery girl is one of the funniest things I have seen. I really, really hope the humour was intentional.

The gore is generally quite poorly done, with the exception of the crime scene photographs which are genuinely disturbing. This is most likely due to the fact that they look remarkably similar to the actual images which appear in publications like "Bizarre" magazine. The acting is pretty appalling. Vladimir Maksic who plays Michael, is either the finest comedic actor of his generation or utterly abysmal. The film livens up every time that horror legend David Hess makes an appearance, even though his performance is so over the top that it verges on slapstick. The acting highlight is Ulli himself, who delivers an intriguing performance as Simon Vale. Ulli's direction is resourceful - to say the least. His mixed media approach works occasionally but just as often feels like unnecessary padding. However, Ulli has an undeniable style and I would be interested to see what he could do with a bigger budget. Maybe Ulli could give his classic "Boogeyman" the sequel it deserves.

Your enjoyment of this film will depend on whether you think Zodiac Killer is a clever send up of horror films and a satirical look at the media circus surrounding serial killers, or simply a phenomenally incompetent piece of garbage. Wherever the truth lies, I found the film strangely mesmerising. I wanted to hate it but I was too interested in discovering which depth the film would plummet to next. Love it or hate it, Ulli Lommel's film is undeniably different.

I don't want to go off on a rant here, but.....this is the worst "film" I've ever seen. Worse than The Avengers. Incompetent directing, disjointed writing, and awful acting are the only consistent elements throughout. Shot on very cheap video, it looks like a high school project, but without the emotion. The lighting frequently looks like a single Sun-Gun. The sound is slightly better than a single mic on the camera, but everything else about this thing is just awful. The plot heads off in strange directions with no foundation or later resolution, the techie elements are patently absurd, and the editing looks worse than a rough cut. It's not even bad enough to be funny. It's just bad. BTW, the packaging is intentionally misleading.

Lion's Gate owes me $4.00.