Dark Ride

Movie starts out in 1989 New Jersey. Two twin girls are murdered in a carnival ride called "Dark Ride"--a trip through various horror scenes. The killer is caught and sentenced to life imprisonment and the ride is closed down. Almost 20 years later a bunch of college kids decide (for no good reason) to break into the closed ride one night. And (wouldn't you know it?) the killer breaks out of his institution he's in. Three guesses where he goes.

This movie is positively insulting to any horror movie fan. The plot has been done to death and ALL the characters are by the numbers--there's the hot guy (Steve), the stoner (Jim), the movie quoting nerd (Bill), the hot blonde (Liz) and the hot brainy brunette (Cathy). They also pick up a blonde hitchhiker (Jen) who, for no reason other than to pad the running time, gives out a looonnngggg stupid monologue. Once these idiots get into the ride it just turns into a formula yawn-inducing mess with the killer stalking and killing them. Also there are these long sequences with these morons stumbling through the ride. They're not needed--they just eat up time. Really--this was done to death in the 1980s. Do we need a rehash of it? There's also a pointless nude scene which was so obviously and stupidly shoved in that I felt sorry for the actress. The gore scenes had plenty of blood but were incredibly faked.

Acting varies. David Rogers is terrible as Steve and Alex Solovitz as Jim wasn't much better (although he does try--Rogers doesn't). Renna is just OK as Bill and Andrea Bogart is WAY over the top as Jen. Her constant screaming and over acting got on my nerves fast. The only good acting was by Jamie-Lynn DiScala as Cathy. There is also a very good score and some cute directorial touches. But--all in all--this is a slow, boring horror film that you've seen hundreds of time before--only better. I fast-forwarded through a good portion of this. Skip it.

Dark Ride features a gruesome opening sequence, a young woman being decapitated whilst delivering a blow job, and an outstanding vertical head slice—moments of gore which would automatically earn a movie a recommendation from me. Unfortunately, the film as a whole is so stale that it ends up as just one more reason for me to be wary of Lionsgate releases.

A blatant rip-off of Tobe Hooper's The Funhouse (1981), Dark Ride sees a bunch of obnoxious teenagers (hot women, some studs, and a guy who looks like an unhealthy, ginger Elijah Wood) being murdered by a hulking psycho after opting to spend the night in an abandoned fairground ride. Whilst The Funhouse wasn't exactly the greatest example of the slasher genre, it could at least boast a modicum of originality and a style of its own; writer/director Craig Singer, on the other hand, clearly has very few fresh ideas, and is content to plagiarise both the look and feel of Hoopers' film.

Less savvy horror fans unaware of the film's obvious cribbing might get a kick out of Dark Ride, but for those in the know, my advice is to save yourself some time and money and just enjoy the best bits on YouTube.

Dark Ride was exactly what it is suppose to be.. A throw back to the 80 horror movie of college age kids being killed and then the surprise twist ending.. It was not the greatest movie but I enjoyed it due to all the memories it brought back, from Funhouse (which it is almost a copy) to the burning, Friday the 13th, sleepaway camp, etc etc.. Acting was OK, and the premise was OK as well, How ever, premise is many years ago, two kids get killed, now years later, the killer escapes and this is when the kids decide to go and look at the ride.. Twist ending later, (its not bad but didn't quite explained how it just ended up that happen at that time, but all in all it was not a bad movie.. Compare to most of the movies of horror filmfest, this was actually one of the better ones..

Dark Ride is slick and professionally made but that's the only real good thing about it. For a start, the plot. A group of teens spend the night in a closed "dark ride" as a dare, not realising that a killer is lurking in the ride with them and there is no way out. I mean really, "The Funhouse" did this already about 20 years ago, and saying this is a tribute or something neatly avoids saying it basically just rips the whole thing off.

There's nothing else to say about the plot, so let me say that there a few more things this film doesn't do as well as it should. First of all the so called "dark ride" looks great - but so it should , it seems to be as big an aircraft hanger!! There's no way a real ride in such a run down resort as this one is supposed to be could be so enormous and with seemingly endless rooms devices and contraptions. Most of the time when the teens are wandering about they seem to be in various horror sets that take up whole rooms with no trace of any rail tracks on the floor to carry the ride's cars (it's a ghost train so where are the trains supposed to be going?).

Now sadly another thing that drags the film down is some real hammy acting by the central cast. Fits of screaming and sobbing, running into walls, shivering and blubbering, no histrionic emotion is left unused, and it soon becomes very tiresome. I really didn't care about any of the characters.

What the film does have is some effective, good old fashioned gore, with some surprisingly graphic slaughters. That and the fun of the wacky exhibits of the actual ride itself are the good points in what is otherwise a rather unimpressive movie.

In 1989, in New Jersey, two sisters are killed in a ghost train in the greatest attraction of the Asbury Park, the Dark Ride. The police arrest the serial killer that is sentenced to life in a mental institution; finds fourteen other bodies hidden in the spot and the justice shuts-down the attraction. Fourteen years later, a group of five friends and a hitchhiker decides to visit the amusement park that is offering free lodging in its reopening. Meanwhile, the psychopath escapes from the asylum and while the group is inside the Dark Ride, they are chased and killed by the murderer.

The slasher "Dark Ride" is a boring collection of clichés. Whatever the viewer may expect in a B-movie of the genre, he or she will find in this flick: bad acting, poor screenplay and budget, breasts, screams, the victims splitting from the group and killed one by one, "unexpected" twist etc. In the end, watching this flick is a pure waste of time. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Trem Fantasma" ("Ghost Train")