Long Dark Kiss

Absolutely nothing to write home about. Why on earth anyone would hire Stephen Baldwin for anything is a mystery to me. He is obnoxious and he can't even act... Movies like this should use the opportunity and their low budgets to search and try out new faces, young undiscovered talent, and not to finance and sustain a large part of the Baldwin family...

And then Kristy Swanson... How on earth do you cast an actress who is so grossly overweight for a lead role in an erotic thriller? It just doesn't make sense, Hollywood is full of young aspiring actresses who would kill to have such a role and look ten times better... So then why? Is it just ignorance, or did somebody simply owe her a part in a movie...?

In other, there is not very much to say about this movie, it is simply bad, a waste of everybody's time and money. There isn't a single thing that can be saved from this horrible wreck, the screenplay is bad, the acting is bad, the directing is bad, the soundtrack, the cinematography... you name it. Unfortunately, there are many movies out there that are even worse, hence the three stars I awarded this one, otherwise I was tempted to rate it even lower...

Max Garrett (Stephen Baldwin) is a cop on a seriously thin rope. Garrett returns from a six month suspension t0 robbery / homicide only to get involved in a homicide case involving a sexy artist (Kirsty Swanson), who may be more than just an innocent witness. Garrett uncovers kinkiness that may well put his life and family in danger.

"Bound by Lies" is a simple straight-to-video police thriller. Full of clichés and C-list stars. Not to bad, about the equivalent of a film you see on late night cable. Good looking stars sprinkled with a little smut with a better than usual polished look to it. The plot is standard and the acting is fair but at least the original Buffy is in it.

There are two classes of people who will love this film - Stephen Baldwin fans and Gladys Jimenez fans. All others are bound to be bored.

Baldwin plays a cop (Max Garrett) who is dangerously close to being kicked out. He is assigned to watch Laura (Kristy Swanson) and protect her from a crazed killer. You'll know who the killer is in the first five minutes, so there are only two questions to be answered: will the killer get Laura, and will Baldwin get Swanson, who continues to remain nudity-free after 55 films.

Well, there is a third question that begs to be answered: why the heck would Garrett want Swanson when he has Gladys Jimenez at home? She has no problems showing us what made her famous in films like Blowback and Secrets of a Chambermaid. She gave that up to become a soap star, but we get another view in this film.

We know that Garrett is not gay like we suspect Dr. Doolittle is, but he certainly has his priorities crossed. Get home, jerk, Jimenez is waiting!

There isn't much to say about this C-Grade "thriller" really. Released as "Betrayed" in New Zealand, the DVD cover which is a homage to "Basic Instinct" is somewhat misleading, for while "Basic Instinct" was no masterpiece, it wasn't as terrible as this film. The plot is very weak, the settings plastic, the score terrible and the dialogue cheesy. The leads, Stephen Baldwin and Kristy Swanson are just going through the motions, though they do hold the film together, and Swanson looks very healthy. The rest of the cast are appalling, in particular the actors that play Baldwin's wife and fellow detective. So unless you want to watch C-Grade "thrillers" then don't actively seek out this film.

After a suspension of six months for disrespect to the chain of command in the police force, detective Max Garrett (Stephen Baldwin) is assigned to work with Lieutenant Eddie Fulton (Charles Malik Whitfield) in a murder case in another precinct. Both have the mission of protecting the photographer Laura Cross (Kristy Swanson) from the prime suspect of the crime, the super Gus Boyle (Kevin Chamberlin). Max is having troubles in his marriage with his wife Diana (Gladys Jimenez), who misses him, and the proximity with the gorgeous and seductive Laura is deeply affecting him.

"Betrayed" is a clear rip-off of Ridley Scott's underrated masterpiece "Someone to Watch Over Me" (1987). In both movies, there is a married detective assigned to protect a beautiful woman and falling for her. Even the situation where the wife is kidnapped by the criminal is identical. The character Max Garret is awfully developed by the weak Stephen Baldwin, and in the end worth to watch this movie only because of the beauty of thirty-nine years old Kristy Swanson, the original Buffy and the teenager Samantha of the unforgettable "Deadly Friend" and still extremely beautiful. It also calls the attention the number of different worldwide titles this forgettable movie has ("Betrayed", "Bound by Lies", "The Long Dark Kiss", "Os Mistérios de Laura Cross" ). My vote is five.

Title (Brazil): "Os Mistérios de Laura Cross" ("The Mysteries of Laura Cross")