City of the Dead

In Los Angeles, a meteor bringing some sort of disease falls on a group of homeless and turns them into flesh eater zombies. Meanwhile, two rival gangs are dealing drugs with an intermediary in an old warehouse without knowing that there is a stakeout of the LAPD of the whole operation. When the policemen are ready to arrest the criminals, they are attacked by the hunger zombies in the beginning of a nightmarish night.

"Last Rites" is an awfully bad zombie movie. There is no originality in the story that is violent and never funny. In addition, no character is likable or charismatic; actually most of them are despicable. My vote is three.

Title (Brazil): "Cidade dos Mortos" ("City of the Dead")

Gangs of the Dead (2006)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Also known as LAST RITES, this film was re-titled and thrown on DVD and is yet another stab at the NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD line with some ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 thrown in for good measure. A group of homeless people are standing around when a meteor crashes on them and turns them into flesh eating zombies. A black gang and a Latino gang, rivals, take shelter in a warehouse with two white cops. The mixed group not only must battle the zombies but also each other. There's some nice stuff here but in the end I couldn't help but be bored by this because we've seen the zombie side of things so many times. I did think it was interesting seeing the two rival gangs having to deal with one another but this stuff didn't work as well as it could have because the screenplay mostly has them shouting things at one another and calling each other the "B" word. The performances aren't Oscar-worthy but all the actors fill their roles fine and deliver the type of performances you'd expect. The CGI effects are all rather obvious and that includes all the fake blood and guts being thrown around. Zombie fans might be attracted to the (new) title but they've pretty much seen everything here in much better movies.

I've watched so many modern day zombie films that have the same plot as Night of the Living Dead that I've produced a template we all can use.

Delete as necessary: A (meteor/satellite/witchdoctor/evil book/bad sandwich/particularly powerful fart) raises the dead, resulting in some (marines/drug dealers/teachers/dancers/elephants/British 70s TV entertainers) to barricade themselves in a (warehouse/farmhouse/underground bunker/hotel/shopping mall/portable toilet/suitcase) which results in much arguing. They are safe until one of them (gets bitten/tries to break out/tries to retrieve a dog/farts and the rest have to escape/tries to give a zombie a wedgie) until the cast is whittled down until (they all get killed/one escapes/they find the world overrun/start a break dancing contest with the zombies). Also features a cameo by (Bruce Campbell/Jeffrey Coombs/Reggie Bannister/Keith Chegwin/Peter Sutcliffe).

Also, it looks like the director of photography's watched Blade Runner and Battlefield Eart too often, judging by the lighting and camera angles. The acting's fairly dodgy and more people are killed by humans than zombies. This is a run of the mill zombie film and if you go in expecting that, you might like it. Or not. It is what it is.

Why in the world would anyone want to watch a remake of Dawn of the Dead, when you can watch the original? Not only is this a bad remake with Black and Latino gang members in Los Angeles locked in a warehouse to escape the zombies, it is racist to boot.

It has been a while since I have see Mantan Moreland yelling "Feets don't fail me now," but I certainly expected it to come out of the mouth of Dayana Jamine, who played the sister of one of the Black gang members like Moreland.

Noel Gugliemi played Caesar, the leader of the Latin gang in a obnoxious stereotype of all ultra macho Hispanic. It was pure racism.

The zombie action was good when you saw it, but that was sparse as most of the action took place in the warehouse.

Janine Foster was the best character in the movie, and I look for more of her in the future.

Neat ending, though.

Hi there. This is going to be one of my shortest reviews ever. Normally, I like to go into the plot, acting, direction of even the worst movies. However in this ones case I'll make an exception. You see, this film while being known as Last Rites in the USA is called 48 Weeks Later in the UK. There are lots of great quotes on the packaging like "DAWN OF THE DEAD EAT YOUR HEART OUT" and "THE BUMS ARE EATING THE COPS" (??) but these have little or nothing to do with what is contained within. Yes folks, if you buy this trash then you have been well and truly stitched up, as the only way it resembles Danny Boyle's original and its sequel is the final two words of the title. That's it. Thankfully I only borrowed it from a friend, I didn't make the mistake of wasting money on this rip-off.

There are hardly any zombies, no decent head explosions and most definitely no flesh eating viruses. No, what this you see is a modern blaxploitation film, and a pretty rubbish one at that. So, if you want to spend 90 minutes watching black actors running around a badly lit warehouse, shooting blanks at each other while talking like illegitimate sons of Shaft, be my guest. You'll also be giving the film company licence to mislabel any product in the future in the hope that they'll make an easy buck out of gullible saps like you. What next... Predator as a romantic comedy? Titanic as a ship navigational guide? Gigli as an Oscar winning masterpiece? Remember, it may be your money you're wasting, but it could have devastating implications for all of us. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

In the meantime, this waste of a perfectly good disc gets a 1/10 and a one way ticket to ebay. Starting bid: 1p. Hope my mate can find a gullible sap to take it off his hands. Oh, aren't I a hypocrite...