Hatchet

The tag-line "Old School American Horror" is a little misleading. While it's true that "Hatchet" recalls the mad gore of the 1980s, the "horror" factor is actually absent. Watching the film feels more like viewing a condensed reel of slasher kills with a few drunk and fun-loving friends - certainly not a bad thing, but not exactly a horror movie either. That being said, it's obvious that the people involved in the production have a real love for the genre. Kane Hodder's monster antics are always a delight, and Adam Green will definitely be a name to watch in the future.

In summary, I'd certainly recommend the film for anyone who gets a kick out of the slasher craze of the 80s, but be sure you're in the mood for goofy fun and not an actual horror flick.

Over-the-Top Gory and Violent Louisiana Swamp Slasher Comedy.

Good: The cast and acting works. Well above average for the genre. The violence and gore is mostly kept on-screen and in focus. No CGI, just good old special effects. Extra points for real vomiting. While this is a pretty gory movie, it is actually a comedy, with varying degrees of success. The violence serves as a comedic aspect parallel to the jokes. And it works, for the most part.

The killings, that is.

Bad: The verbal humor is admittedly also better than average for the genre, but it gets too much for my taste. This movie doesn't even try to be scary, and the cast are yapping on, sit-com style, throughout the movie. Luckily they haven't screwed it up as much as they could have, and the verbal humor does serve as a build-up to hysterical bursts of laughter during the killing scenes. It works and is funny at times, but it's just too much overall.

The villain's back story is thin, goofy and uninteresting. Crowley himself works sometimes, but sometimes not. He's certainly no new Jason or Michael in my opinion.

However, despite all its flaws, I felt entertained. While there are much fewer and "shorter" killings in this film, I can't remember seeing something this in-your-face gory since Braindead. The over-the-top gore and the sickly hilarious ways in which it's presented are this movie's strong points, while the plot and (partially) the humor are its weak points.

This review is after I saw a viewing of the uncut/unrated DVD version at the Horror Hound convention in Indianapolis on Nov. 16, 2007.

The movie to me, is pretty much a variation of "The Burning" in my opinion. There are a lot of things similar in the plot department. The basic story is some people want to go on a haunted tour in the New Orleans swamps, and they get their wish along with a story about the spirit of a Victor Crowley who was hideously deformed at birth, and accidentally hit in the head with a hatchet by his Father when their house caught fire, the Father was trying to save him. So the Father has long since died from grief, but old disfigured hatchet in the face Victor is supposed to still be around there in spirit. The boat the people are taking the tour on hits some rocks and starts to sink, so they have to go to land, and that's when they come up on Victor's former house. It's not long until Victor shows up, and he's portrayed by Kane Hodder with some pretty fair makeup. It's slicing and dicing time with plenty of blood and some excellent gore, that I'm afraid people going to see the theatrical version will miss. There's nothing original and all that great about this movie, it's basically just another slasher film with some obvious humor, and excellent gore effects. The main thing myself and what I heard from other people after it was over, is the ending really sucks. I won't say anymore, because I know many out there haven't seen it yet, but this first "Hatchet" almost seems like an introduction to the sequel, which is already in the works. Now get this, "Hatchet" is being released next month on both DVD and in the theaters, and all ready, the sequel is pretty much ready to start. So I guess, Victor is supposed to be the new Jason, Freddy, and Michael, all rolled up into one. All I have to say about that, is bullshit. Don't end a frigging movie like they did, totally setting up a sequel. For that reason, I came away with a rather negative feeling, even though I loved all the blood and gore. I think "Hatchet" is being over-hyped, in fact, WAY over-hyped, and a lot of horror/gore fans are going to be a little let down, especially with the awful ending.

Ben (Joel David Moore) is recovering from a separation after eight years. To take his mind off of it, he decides to go on a night ghost-tour of New Orleans swamp with his friend Marcus (Deon Richmond). Tagging along for the ride are: the mysterious Marybeth (Tamara Feldman), lesbians Misty (Mercedes McNab) and Jenna (Joleigh Fioreavanti), sleaze-bag Shapiro (Joel Murray) and an old couple (Richard Riehle and Patrika Darbo). Not to forget their shifty tour guide, Shawn (Parry Chen). Once they set off in the boat (after a crazy old man warns them of the danger awaiting them), they soon enough crash and are stranded in the middle of the swamp. Moreover, they are being stalked and brutally dispatched by Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder, of Jason Voorhees fame), a huge and disfigured man out for revenge.

By now, I am sure you have realised the amount of clichéd stereotypes are present in Adam Green's Hatchet. This is a throwback to the late 70's and 80's slashers that are now very famous (films like Friday the 13th, Halloween, The Burning, Sleepaway Camp and The Prowler). Hype surrounded this film for quite some time before it was released, Hatchet was being heralded as the one of the best horror movies of this decade and a genre defining work. Unfortunately, these claims are quite inaccurate. Although Hatchet is an entertaining movie, it adds nothing to the slasher sub-genre and it is not all original.

Nonetheless, amongst all the dire remakes, shoddy Saw movies and bland sequels, Green has created a damn good horror/comedy with bucket loads of extreme gore. Every single actor does an amazing job, yes, I am being dead serious. Joe Moore, Mercedes McNab and Deon Richmond are excellent at delivering comedic lines totally with total believability. That is not to say the rest were bad, they all played their parts naturally. Horror aficionados will appreciate a few cameos from genre favourites, Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street) and Tony Todd (Candyman) all make brief, but entertaining, appearances. Also, John Carl Buechler (director of the underrated Friday the 13th Part VII) and Joshua Leonard (The Blair Witch Project) assist in aiding the campy atmosphere.

On Buechler, his special effects are insane! Seriously, this is one of the bloodiest, goriest and most visceral horror film I have seen released in a LONG time! The sheer amount of brutality shown on-screen is enough to make hardened gorehounds drool in delight. Every death is long, drawn out and features a whole of lot of blood spray! Decapitations, detached limbs, electric sanders, impalements and hatchets are a few of the many ways in which the unlucky group meet their demise. Kudos must also go to the makeup on Victor Crowley, he is definitely a horror villain to look out for. Kane Hodder plays Crowley with his usual ferocity and relish.

Alongside the gore, Green knows how to keep a movie going at a steady pace. Hatchet never gets boring, it is constantly moving and because of this, is made much more exciting. The story plays out nicely, nothing new; however, Crowley's past is summed up quickly (and smart enough) and no part is ever dragged out. The only time when the script slips up is in the very final scene, which is a total letdown and really ruins what the movie had going for it.

Hatchet is really a love it or hate it movie. Personally, I think it is very good and a nostalgic reminder of the good old days of the slasher. With gratuitous violence, nudity and plenty of camp, Green has asserted himself as someone to look out for with Hatchet.

7/10

Anyone whose a regular on sites like Ain't It Cool News has no doubt caught the massive hype campaign for Adam Green's Hatchet. Well, to get straight to the point, don't buy into it. Certain people would have you believe that this is the second coming of the horror genre (just like Hostel part II right?). What movie did they see? I saw a very by the book slasher flick with no surprises or real twists on the genre.

The plot concerns a tour group in the NOLA swamps that begin to be picked off one by one by the deformed Victor Crowley (wow what an original name). Crowley looks like the Elephant Man on steroids and of course, possesses super human strength. For a character whose been called the next horror icon, I just can't help but be underwhelmed. The big reveal of the grown up Crowley is so ineptly handled I actually said "that's it?" to myself. He sorta of just strolls onto screen. Movies like The Descent and Feast handled these kinds of reveals so much more memorably.

I'll give credit were credit is due though. The kills in this movie are delightfully over the top and gory. They're definitely the highlight of the movie. But, it's at odds with the acting, which for once is actually pretty good. The actors in this movie for the most part play it straight and do a convincing job. I really liked Joel Moore, who I'm eager to see more of. But it's too real. I know that's an odd complaint but bear with me here. The actors are so convincing in places and seem to behave like real people probably would in this situation, but then Crowley rips someone's arms off or appears, literally, from out of nowhere. This disparity hurts the film in the long run. Either it really should have gone for all out splatstick zaniness, or it should have toned down on the sillier moments and played it more for real scares.

The score isn't doing anyone any favors either. It's the all too typical, crappy sounding MIDI highlighting and underlining every cheap scare with a big sting. I am so sick to death of this type of horror score. If you don't have a budget, forget the MIDI and go for creepy minimalism.

I wish Adam Green the best in his career because there is potential here, but he's still green. Maybe next time Adam.