The Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing

when I think of Van Helsing, I think of BOOBS!!!!! Vampire Boobs!!!!!!!!!! This cinematic triumph comes from the same director as Gladiator Eroticus, and Playmate of the Apes, so when I rented it from my local video store, I knew I was in for something special! There were girls, and they were fighting!! fighting NAKED! I highly recommend that you watch this film.

But if three sets of surgically altered mammaries doesn't really do it for you, there are other aspects of this movie that make it worth at least three viewings. The special effects rival the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and are as ground breaking as The Matrix, or the latest Peter Gabriel music video.

THE FACE OF CINEMA WOULD NOT BE THE SAME, WITHOUT THE SEXY ADVENTURES OF VAN HELSING!!!!

This movie left me very impressed. Probably one of the first things you will notice is the cheesy humor and poor acting, but you shouldn't be looking for some grand performance, this is a soft core movie, and cheesy things pretty much come hand in hand with porn. Now when this comes to the sexual performance, it delivers very, very well. There are many scenes and most of the women are very attractive. The ones that aren't so attractive, you forget once they engage in some sexual activities. The end scene delivers very well. It's a shame the main character doesn't have much for sex scenes as she is very attractive, even though they try to portray her as an unattractive nerd type for most of it. I would highly recommend this, I would say it's worth buying so you can add it to your collection.

This is some delicious trash. It's a typical soft-core lesbian flick that gets combined with a well known horror story and characters. Well, not that this movie has much to do with the Bram Stoker novel of course, as a matter of fact this movie doesn't follow much story at all but the movie is really being saved and made by its sense of entertainment.

The cast & crew obviously didn't took the project very seriously and I'm glad they didn't. The movie is deliberately over-the-top with its performances, story and comedy. This is what makes "Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing" a very fun movie to watch. I'll bet they had lots of fun making this movie.

The movie of course has some very poor production values. This movies are purely made by the studios to cash in, they are interested in making a "Citizen Kane" like movie at all. This means that the story has an obvious cheap look, though I must admit that I had seen far worse for these type of movies. This movie actually did spend still some time on its make-up effects and all.

It's comedy is almost cartoon like and no matter how cheesy it all often is, you'll still be entertained by it.

As for the sex itself, after all this is an adult picture, it's pretty much what you could expect from a soft-core porn flick. So a lot is being implied but very little is being shown actually. Also the sex sequences also seem to come and go pretty random at times within the movie. As if the had to made a quota of a certain minimum amount of sex sequences. Because of this the movie doesn't really feel like it's following an actual story at all.

Within its genre it's simple a very fine and entertaining movie.

8/10

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