Death Tunnel

Where do I start with this abomination and absolute waste of film? The only reason I rented this piece of dung to begin with were the words "five sexy coeds" on the back of the package. My brain hurts just thinking of things to say afterwords. I really would like money put back into my account at Blockbuster video since they did not deter me from renting this horrible stink nugget. Of the five "sexy coeds" only three were remotely attractive with the other two hose-beasts leaving me waiting for my building's power to shut off and for me to be struck dead by lightning. I don't feel like going out of my way to give away any of this movie's plot to any prospective viewer since I don't want anyone else to suffer the same fate as I. The director of this movie will forever live in shame....shame.

In Kentucky, five sexy students are trapped to spend the night in an abandoned sanatorium, where many people were killed in the 30's when the location was devastated by an infectious white plague, as a prank of their school mates. Along the night, while trying to escape from the asylum, they are haunted by ghosts and the survivors disclose that they are descendant of the victims and are reviving their deaths.

"Death Tunnel" is a messy, noisy and boring rip-off of many other movies, with a group of students trapped in a haunted building. The screenplay and the edition are terrible, using unsuccessfully noise to startle the viewers. The acting is not bad, but the best of this forgettable crap are the girls wearing lingerie. The conclusion is simply awful. My vote is one.

Title (Brazil): "O Túnel da Morte" ("The Death Tunnel")

Movie is based on the True Stories and Hauntings of Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Louisville, Kentucky. This horrific Five story structure is listed as one of the Top Ten Scariest Places on Earth, due to the 63,000+ deaths within this monument of Terror. They were then carried through the massive Five hundred foot underground Tunnel to their final resting place. The story involves Five girls on a college initiation, dared to spend the night separately on the Five floors of this sanatorium, with the Five ghosts that exist within it's abandoned corridors. Will they make it through the night? For the only way out is through...the Death Tunnel.

This is a film which tries to scare you with cheap imagery and jump scenes. There's nothing really good about this movie (maybe the girls?), it does have a haunting setting and theme but it's executed amateurly. They also rip-off multiple mainstream movies, most notably SAW.

After a few moments into the movie, you realize it's basically just another teen movie (the awful parties, the bitchy girls etc). After they pick some of the most sluttiest girls from our new generation to spend their time in the "haunted" place, you get a movie riddled with confusion. You can be sure to watch girls walk around, investigate and yell out "What the hell am I doing here?" type questions.

The acting isn't too bad but the characters all suck and have shitty lines. So its hard for me to rate them but they seem OK. I like the music in the movie but it's repeated at nauseum. It's like they loved it so much, it was the best part of the movie... it was the movie! Death Tunnel is a bullshit ride which House On Haunted Hill remake lovers could endure but any self-respecting horror fan will realize it's just a festival of try-hard "scary" stuff happening on screen. There's too much scene chopping and flashbacks to keep it progressing well.

Mostly uninteresting and unexciting.

Pitiful acting, incomprehensible editing, cliché "scares", terrible story and a thoroughly pointless waste of time. Better acting has been observed in high school dramas than in this messy, amateurish effort. The only redeemable feature of this bomb is the location. This is very poor film making at its very worst. It's like "House on Haunted Hill" mated with an 80's teen aged sex/slasher romp and bore a hideously deformed mess of half-naked horse-faced women and a shockingly unimaginative plot story unsuccessfully held together by effects that one could enjoy watching a movie made by teenagers who have access to a camera, a computer and a spooky location. Did I mention this movie sucks? AVOID.

Note: Many of the "reviews" for this incredibly poor film seem to be written by people who actually worked on this film or were hired to promote it. Go read a book or watch something that will leave you with something besides the vague sense of being robbed of 90 minutes of your life that you'll never get back.

Jesus Christ.

I want my 90 minutes back.

It seems like people involved in making the movie must be writing all of the incredibly glowing reviews on here, so after having watched this gutted, burning shell of what could be called a movie I decided to write a little something as a stern and honest warning to people who don't like wasting their time and money.

Death Tunnel, Death Tunnel, oh god end my pain, Death Tunnel.. How could you be so terrible? You have so much going for you on paper:

1) Creepy setting

2) ...

OK, so you really don't have so much going for you, so why did I expect so much out of you? I think it was because I read an interview with your director and he name-dropped a few movies that I really enjoyed as some of his favorite movies of all time. I guess that's makes us all individuals; we can all share seemingly endless qualities with one another as a people, but not all of us have the ability to convince people to pay them to defecate.

Were I able to find someone to financially back my excrement, I would first want to know what they, my financiers, wanted to do with said excrement. Were they going to wear it as a hat? Possibly use it to plug up a leaky faucet? Try and make other people pay more money than they invested in it to sit down and watch this turd for 90 minutes? OK, hold the phone, you're telling me that people would pay money to look at my feces if you had your say about it, Daddy Warbucks? It's a deal, but, would you mind if I polished it up a bit? After all, it is MY feces.

Oh Death Tunnel, if only the people responsible for your excretion wanted you to be anything more than a pile of droppings... If only they could see that, as you are, you are so much dead weight around the shoulders of humankind, the yoke of Rushed Out Crap to DVD that is synonymous with other movies that fail as miserably as you do. If only people wouldn't stand for your brand of completely banal tripe with horrible, ADD editing glazed on in post to try and stupefy the audience since there's no other form of emotional connection to them that you are capable of presenting.

If you love your life, if you cherish your time spent being alive, please, resist any and every urge that you may have to watch this travesty of cinema. Cut off your own feet if it would stop you from walking to the store where you might accidentally buy it because you think the box art looks interesting. Gouge out your own eyes if it somehow finds itself in your DVD player. You might even want to go so far as to remove your own tongue if it would keep you from mentioning the movie to someone else.

This movie is Death Tunnel, after all, and yes, it really is that bad.