Snakes on a Plane

What can I say? I'm a secret fan of 'over the top' action and horror films. Especially when it comes with a lot of lots of humour and innuendo, but I'm not a fan of Snake on a Plane.

There are three potential draws to this film: • The comedy of the situation; • The horror; and • The novelty of hundreds of snakes being of a plane.

Firstly, this film isn't written as a tongue-in-cheek horror or a comedy, and there are only 1 or 2 points in the film where you'll smile to yourself. If you want to get the feel of the film, the trailer genuinely represents the movie, a horror.

Secondly, if you're expecting a film full of action and shocks, you won't be disappointed. It doesn't stand out above other movies, but it always keeps your attention.

Thirdly, Although the novelty of Snakes of a Plane doesn't wear off, but you'll leave the cinema thinking "what was all the fuss about".

I know this movie has a high rating, but it doesn't add up. A) Many of the reviews where written before the film was released and, B) The breakdown of user ratings has a lot less variation than normal 77% of people rating the movie 10/10, with only 7% of people giving it 9/10 - Why such an enormous gap?

I'm calling this an "experience" rather than a "review", because a review wouldn't really encapsulate how enjoyable this movie is. If I was forced to review the movie, I'd talk about how slow it is in the beginning, how although some of the dialog is witty quite a lot of it is hackneyed (a scene with SLJ telling JM to "Be strong" was especially cringe-worthy), and the climax didn't have a lot of tension and was a bit disappointing. Five stars out of ten sounds about right, and is perhaps a bit generous.

But I came out of the movie with a smile on my face, because it was fun. The audience was really, really into it. When the title of the movie appeared, everyone cheered (I haven't seen that happen in a movie theater since Episode 1). Every over-the-top "death by snake" was cheered and applauded. The people who were going to die were fairly easily identified, and people eagerly awaited their death scenes. (In a nod to the movie writers, I expected one character to die for being a complete jerk, and they surprised me by having that character survive.) And, as could be expected, when SLJ delivers his much-discussed line towards the end of the film, the audience cheered throughout its entire delivery. I laughed; it was just fun to listen to the audience.

This is not a movie you download via BitTorrent. This is not a movie you watch on cable, or rent via DVD. This is a movie you watch in a crowded movie theater. Because only then will it be fun; only then will the energy of the movie and the audience make the experience worthwhile.

From the director who bought you the worst Final Destination movie, Snakes on a Plane is an exploitation flick that knows exactly what it wants to do and gets the job done expertly. It's not perfect and doesn't have to be, coupled with Samuel L. Jackson in tow; Jackson makes this movie far more than the disposable B-movie it was initially conceived as. He bestrides Snakes on a Plane with the authority of someone who knows the value of what he's appearing in with that signature fierce glimmer in his eye. Ridiculous in every sense of the word, Snakes on a Plane is nothing if not a riot with a few friends or after having down a couple of beers, yes it's stupid and yes it can be pretty sleep-inducing, but who honestly cares when it more than lives up to its title.

I'm confident that "Snakes on a Plane" will prove once and for all that Internet culture and mainstream culture are not one and the same.

Because, my friends, the Internet will tell you that SOAP (as those in the know call it) is a classic film - the best "bad movie" ever made. But I think any more sensible member of the general public will tell you that SOAP is nothing more than a mildly competent action movie. It's not hysterically funny. It's not scary. It's occasionally exciting. And it sure ain't a "10" on the IMDb scale.

Don't misunderstand me; I had fun watching the movie. I was even willing to be generous, until I saw the outrageously high rating on this site and all the strangely gushing reviews. Frankly, I'm a bit astonished. Why heap such praise on this particular film? If you love camp, over-the-top action movies, then why not worship a camp action film that's actually good? ("Wrath of Khan" springs to mind - also "Batman.")

The truth is that parts of SOAP are pretty lame. Samuel L. Jackson is good, but his role is weirdly small. And, aside from his one power catchphrase, most of his dialog is banal and dull. The rest of the actors aren't even worth commenting on, since they're stuck with stock and boring "funny" characters.

Speaking of dull, how many different ways can snakes really kill someone? They hiss...they lunge...they bite...over and over and over again. It's not particularly cinematic. And most of them are fake CGI anyway, so they're not even remotely frightening.

Face it, the only reason to see this is because it's camp and bad. It's part of the whole culture of worshiping lame junk that's prevalent right now. It's hip to like terrible garage bands and lame movies because people are either too impatient, or too unsophisticated, to take the time to absorb entertainment that's actually artistic. So we watch and listen to junk, and imagine that we're superior to it, and that makes us feel good. Apparently.

Is there anything wrong with liking junk? Not really - I review and praise junk on this site all the time. But putting junk on a pedestal? That's very, very wrong.

Sermon over.

A lot of people on IMDb have given Snakes on a Plane a 10/10 rating and left comments like "omg this is best movie ever lol." Unfortunately, most of these people had come to this conclusion before seeing the movie, and are still high on the Internet hype that built the movie up to be something it's not.

I guess there's no real point to writing a review of Snakes On A Plane. With a title like that, you've already made up your mind about if you want to see it. But keep this in mind...

Snakes On A Plane isn't a comedy movie. It isn't a horribly cheesy or bad (intentionally or not) movie, either, or one that's "so bad it's good," which is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in SOAP discussions. Also, the movie's not all about Samuel L. Jackson being a badass or swearing a lot, although it happens. Snakes On A Plane is a entertaining mid-grade thriller movie that pretty much delivers what you'd expect from a Hollywood movie about snakes on an airplane. No more, no less.

Don't see this movie if you're expecting to constantly laugh at Samuel L. Jackson showing off how cool he is. There are plenty of moments where Sam kicks ass and gives some great one-liners and does amusing things, but he is offscreen just as often as he is on it.

Snakes On A Plane isn't the best movie of the year. It's not the funniest movie of the year or the scariest, but it is a good movie if you're looking for mindless fun involving a lot of snakes on an airplane, some gratuitous gore and nudity, and a few great Samuel L. Jackson moments, check it out.