Snakes on a Plane

Samuel L. holds it together, but this film just isn't bad enough for the type of film it's been billed as. With all the promotional hype, I really expected something more. Where is the trenchant dialogue of a REALLY bad film? Sigh. It made me long for campy Killer Tomatoes, night clubbing Mushroom People, and the warm comfort of bad dialogue a la Buckaroo Banzai. I'm sure that the cast tried mightily, but in the end, it's just a semi-bad film, which is, of course, the kiss of death. Destined to be a lukewarm cult film for teens, about the best we can say is that Samuel L. is The Man for insisting that the film keep it's original working title of "Snakes on a Plane". One thing of note to parents- children may have been lured to the film because of all the promotional efforts and the film was originally rated PG-13. Additional footage took it to R and it contains scenes that are too strong for most pre-teen and younger teen children.

A lot of people on IMDb have given Snakes on a Plane a 10/10 rating and left comments like "omg this is best movie ever lol." Unfortunately, most of these people had come to this conclusion before seeing the movie, and are still high on the Internet hype that built the movie up to be something it's not.

I guess there's no real point to writing a review of Snakes On A Plane. With a title like that, you've already made up your mind about if you want to see it. But keep this in mind...

Snakes On A Plane isn't a comedy movie. It isn't a horribly cheesy or bad (intentionally or not) movie, either, or one that's "so bad it's good," which is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in SOAP discussions. Also, the movie's not all about Samuel L. Jackson being a badass or swearing a lot, although it happens. Snakes On A Plane is a entertaining mid-grade thriller movie that pretty much delivers what you'd expect from a Hollywood movie about snakes on an airplane. No more, no less.

Don't see this movie if you're expecting to constantly laugh at Samuel L. Jackson showing off how cool he is. There are plenty of moments where Sam kicks ass and gives some great one-liners and does amusing things, but he is offscreen just as often as he is on it.

Snakes On A Plane isn't the best movie of the year. It's not the funniest movie of the year or the scariest, but it is a good movie if you're looking for mindless fun involving a lot of snakes on an airplane, some gratuitous gore and nudity, and a few great Samuel L. Jackson moments, check it out.

I'm confident that "Snakes on a Plane" will prove once and for all that Internet culture and mainstream culture are not one and the same.

Because, my friends, the Internet will tell you that SOAP (as those in the know call it) is a classic film - the best "bad movie" ever made. But I think any more sensible member of the general public will tell you that SOAP is nothing more than a mildly competent action movie. It's not hysterically funny. It's not scary. It's occasionally exciting. And it sure ain't a "10" on the IMDb scale.

Don't misunderstand me; I had fun watching the movie. I was even willing to be generous, until I saw the outrageously high rating on this site and all the strangely gushing reviews. Frankly, I'm a bit astonished. Why heap such praise on this particular film? If you love camp, over-the-top action movies, then why not worship a camp action film that's actually good? ("Wrath of Khan" springs to mind - also "Batman.")

The truth is that parts of SOAP are pretty lame. Samuel L. Jackson is good, but his role is weirdly small. And, aside from his one power catchphrase, most of his dialog is banal and dull. The rest of the actors aren't even worth commenting on, since they're stuck with stock and boring "funny" characters.

Speaking of dull, how many different ways can snakes really kill someone? They hiss...they lunge...they bite...over and over and over again. It's not particularly cinematic. And most of them are fake CGI anyway, so they're not even remotely frightening.

Face it, the only reason to see this is because it's camp and bad. It's part of the whole culture of worshiping lame junk that's prevalent right now. It's hip to like terrible garage bands and lame movies because people are either too impatient, or too unsophisticated, to take the time to absorb entertainment that's actually artistic. So we watch and listen to junk, and imagine that we're superior to it, and that makes us feel good. Apparently.

Is there anything wrong with liking junk? Not really - I review and praise junk on this site all the time. But putting junk on a pedestal? That's very, very wrong.

Sermon over.

I'm calling this an "experience" rather than a "review", because a review wouldn't really encapsulate how enjoyable this movie is. If I was forced to review the movie, I'd talk about how slow it is in the beginning, how although some of the dialog is witty quite a lot of it is hackneyed (a scene with SLJ telling JM to "Be strong" was especially cringe-worthy), and the climax didn't have a lot of tension and was a bit disappointing. Five stars out of ten sounds about right, and is perhaps a bit generous.

But I came out of the movie with a smile on my face, because it was fun. The audience was really, really into it. When the title of the movie appeared, everyone cheered (I haven't seen that happen in a movie theater since Episode 1). Every over-the-top "death by snake" was cheered and applauded. The people who were going to die were fairly easily identified, and people eagerly awaited their death scenes. (In a nod to the movie writers, I expected one character to die for being a complete jerk, and they surprised me by having that character survive.) And, as could be expected, when SLJ delivers his much-discussed line towards the end of the film, the audience cheered throughout its entire delivery. I laughed; it was just fun to listen to the audience.

This is not a movie you download via BitTorrent. This is not a movie you watch on cable, or rent via DVD. This is a movie you watch in a crowded movie theater. Because only then will it be fun; only then will the energy of the movie and the audience make the experience worthwhile.

Campy / B movies have to do something right to make the leap from a trashy one-time-watch to a cult classic. Snakes on a Plane delivers -- it's actually pretty good.

If you're willing to watch it through a certain lens; with the knowledge that you're watching a truly satirical movie, it's very entertaining. Samuel L Jackson's charismatic performance is what makes this movie great.

The marketing behind this movie is truly unique in that it is exactly what it says it is and almost nothing else! Silly but fun watch!