Dr. Moreau's House of Pain

Dr. Moreau's House of Pain (2004)

* (out of 4)

Eric Carson (John Patrick Jordan) goes looking for his brother who has gone missing after visiting Dr. Moreau (Jacob Witkin). Pretty soon he sees the horrible creations caused by the doctor as well as getting lucky with the sexy panther woman (Lorielle New).

DR. MOREAU'S HOUSE OF PAIN is pretty much what you'd expect out of a low-budget movie from Charles Band. If you're familiar with Band's work then you should know what to expect here. You've basically got a very low-budget movie that is "borrowing" from countless other films. Obviously this one here is a take-off on the H.W. Wells but one shouldn't be expecting anything like previous versions of the story.

The film's small budget seems to have had most of the money spent on the actual look of the film. It's quite colorful and I must admit that it looked rather good. The biggest problem with the film is its overall tone, which is just bad and not all that entertaining. Even worse are some of the special effects and the creatures just aren't all that believable. Even worse is that you really just don't care about the lead character, his brother or any of his problems.

I will say that the one saving grace was the performance by New. Obviously she's a very beautiful woman and her nude scenes are a welcome but I thought she was also good in the role.

I cannot imagine how any sane human being could enjoy this film. Its insane crappiness induces vomiting. A man with giant knees would make more sense than the monsters in this film. Don't get me wrong, I like my share of cheesy movies, but this one was just too awful even for me. I watched this movie hoping for a fun and amusing horror flick. What I received was one of the worst moments in my life. At one point during the movie I convinced myself that if the movie did not end in less than 10 minutes, i would jam a fork in my eye. I urge anyone who finds this film on a store shelf to buy it, break it into 1000 tiny pieces, and scatter them across the ocean. If not for me, do it for the children.

Brisk/credible script, the small cast give good performances and the prosthetics and photography work well too. I picked this up for a £1, so expectations weren't exactly sky-high and the Full Moon logo can sometimes spell 'AVOID', - I was very pleasantly surprised. Earl Kenton did a great job with the script, and recognised the budget limitations his story would work within. He has created a small, dark and believable realm. All the actors, (particularly Jacob Witkin and Lorielle New) give very watchable interpretations and transcend the usual standard of performance you expect from this type of film. 'House of Pain' reminded me of two other great films - Stuart Gordon's classic 'Dagon', and the recent remake of 'She Creature'. Good stuff.

If your goal is to rent something bad and critique it then go find a TROMA film and have at it! If, on the other hand you like being pleasantly surprised at what can be done on a low budget then this film is an excellent example.

Charles Band is- an inconsistent director. Some of the films he's done are crap but others are Brilliant and explain his high status in the industry. Dr. Moraeu's House of Pancakes is a very watchable very enjoyable film with better than average Make-up fx and NO CG! not any to speak of anyway. The Make-up effects while conceived by old favorite John Buechler are fleshy and visceral and more than competently done by Veteran Bruce Barlow considering the budget and shooting schedule. Sets and art direction are key to what make this such a fun watchable movie and Mac Ahlberg's lighting and photography bring this to the caliber of many of it's bigger budgeted rivals. Judge for yourself!

Dr. Moreau's House of Pain (2004) is a Full Moon Feature I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a man looking for his brother who stumbles onto a clinic where human and animal DNA is getting mixed to create new creations. Once the young man stumbles into the clinic will he ever be able to get out?

This movie is directed by Charles Band (Puppet Master) and stars John Patrick Jordan (Them), Jessica Lancaster (The Forgotten), Peter Donald Badalamenti II (Bad Boys II), Lorielle New (Farewell, My Love) and Debra Mayer (Blood Dolls).

The storyline and era this takes place in had a lot of potential. The makeup and masks were excellent but the acting wasn't. The opening strip club scene and cat/human creature were gold, even if the cat's sex scenes were just okay. The soundtrack was very good also. There was some good kill scenes and gore sprinkled in throughout the movie.

Overall this is a fairly average addition to the horror genre that could have been better but is still worth a viewing. I would score this a 5/10 and recommend seeing it once.