Starting Over

I have to admit that I am addicted to this show. Having said that, I would like to send my opinion out there. It seems to me that the life coaches are, as others have written, "know it all's". They are not very specific at times, leaving the anxious ladies (probably too intimidated to ask if they can get help from the other women, quit, etc...) receiving negative feedback from the coaches. I think there is a bit of evil in Rhonda's eyes now and then.......she would scare me to death if I got on her bad side. Just once, I would like to hear an "I apologize, I was mistaken" from the coaches! I realize we all have had problems in our past, as did Rhonda and Iylana, however, they sometimes appear to have forgotten their past. When someone is "down and out" (as with the women who come and go through the house), they certainly don't need to be screamed at and humiliated. However, the change for the positive is remarkable in most of the women when they leave the starting over house!!!

I agree that Iyanla can be a bit opinionated, but that other one --Rhonda--

Could she possibly be more self-righteous? Meanwhile, she never really listens to what anyone is saying. Did she take a Learning Annex class in "5 Steps to Being a Good Listener"? Maybe it was a prerequisite course to "You Too Can Be an Analyst" She asks clearly scripted questions, nods with a furrowed brow during the girls responses and follows it with a "ya" and a quote directly off one of those motivational posters.

Example: In the last episode ... Rhonda starts using all the clichés and textbook inspirational quotes to this one woman who was really going through it badly. She takes her through this ridiculous word association thing to arrive at the conclusion that her father is the cause of all her woes (which had already been established anyway, by the woman herself). Rhonda gives an understanding "Ya" and sits all self-satisfied that she broke her. Then Iyanla proceeds to rip the girl apart, saying that she is lying and covering up the real issue and makes her come to terms with the fact that her mother is really at the root of it all but she never could face or admit to herself. After 10 minutes of Iyanla tearing down layer after layer, lie after lie, the girl is obviously a wreck and then Rhonda chimes in with this pearl: "Its OK for your mother to not always be right" smiling smugly as though she knew the mother was the real issue all along. Iyanla looked like 'is she kidding with this'???

Rhonda seems to feel that she and Iyanla simply have different styles of therapy --- yea qualified and not qualified is the difference. She looks like a soap actress wannabe who never quite got her break but decided to put this show together and trying to act like a therapist. A bad one.

I just wanted to say that the show rapidly went downhill after the move to California AND RANA was not expendable. She was much more real than Iyanla. I knew that show was in trouble from the opening screen shots where they show Iyanla with a tear ... supposedly real ... running down her cheek. The artificiality of it used to drive me insane! I am half-black, so race is not my issue here. I could not believe how warm and loving the life coaches could be on a day-to-day basis, and then just rip the poor women to shreds during the Board of Review. This show slowly but steadily began to concentrate more on what would make great television and keep the ratings up. I smelled a rat when the cause of the amnesia victim's loss of memory was never explained - hinted at - but never explained. This show should have stuck to the original formula; i.e. if you want to be on television, live for free for a minimum of six weeks, then there can be no holds barred, respecting, of course, the identify of close friends and relatives. And I'm sorry - I tried to like Dr. Stan but I could never really "get" him, or figure out what earthly purpose he actually served by being on the show. Alas, it's too late and my thoughts are all for naught because a sounding board for the viewers should have been made available from the get-go. Rest in peace, Rhonda; rest in peace. And Rana, you were gone but never forgotten.

Of course, the show is not perfect....it's a "reality" show about women and the problems that their needs lead them into. The life coaches are indeed not "know it all's", but have faced many of the same issues that "everyday" women face and have a better perspective, a clearer path to resolution. The knowledge and understanding of the life coaches naturally entice us to look to them when we need the focus that they have already demonstrated in real life. Hence, the reason that they are referred to as "life coaches."

Women and men are certainly equal in all capacities, but the path that we follow and the "tools" that we use to get there are not the same and cannot be treated as such. It is a fundamental part of the entire "Starting Over" process to help "women" to recognize the tools at their disposal, as well as to teach them those that they are missing by using the similarities in other women to build from.

This show is not about entertainment, but rather restoration and regeneration. It is merely a vehicle to reach those who want and need the message.

I'm Karen Knox-Cox, of Starting Over, season one. I love to read all the comments on this show. What a wonderful life experience it was. It did not change my life, but it certainly gave me a chance to re-direct my life. I am proud to be a part of a show, that obviously touch so many lives. I always said I'm the luckiest girl in the world! I too, agree, that the show lost a certain something after the first year. Replacing Rona,was the shows first down fall. With the first season, the women in the house, had no idea what to expect. The second year, it seemed the women in the house,"knew what the show needed", so it was not as natural. That is sad, because most of the women needed, some type of help. I think Starting Over could have survived longer, had they replaced the coaches on a regular basis...keeping it fresh.