Galaxy Hunter

What can you expect from just-under-the-wire softcore? Producer/writer/actress Shelley Michelle may be the Body Double to the Stars (notably Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman) and pretty to look at (if you go for that sort of thing) but this doesn't mean she can act.

In this travesty, the galaxy's equivalent of a Texas Ranger (Michelle) searches for her missing father. There's only one scene in space, it's all spent on a spaceship, and one cheesy Macromedia Flash space graphic later, Michelle's on a backwater planet, enlisting the aid of some bounty hunters to help find her father. Daddy Dearest (Stacy Keach) is the hostage to a group of so-stereotypical-it's-hilarious villains, led by a wacked-out "tone" addict. Tone's a highly addictive drug that Wacko and his cronies and concubines put in their eyes. (Yeah. It's that kind of movie.) Michelle manages to save the day and even acquire a love interest (the softcore portion of this movie) and all the bounty hunters do is get in her way all the time. Clearly Star Trek knockoffs, one has Klingon-ish makeup, one has Borglike prosthetics, the other two look kinda normal, and they're all still beautiful (and largely endowed) women.

To be honest, it doesn't work as titillation or even bad sci-fi. To go along with the western--I mean, backwater planet set, the good and bad guys use Jeeps from time to time. To make the Jeeps more futuristic, instead of engine revving noises, they make spaceship sounds.

Yeah, it's that kind of movie.

I have recently ordered this movie and am waiting for it to arrive. I've seen the cast and it includes Tiffany Bolton. Anyone who has seen Tiffany in anything she's ever been in you know that she is talented, funny and most of all Gorgeous. Regardless of how poor the script, filming quality or anything else about the movie, the mere appearance of Tiffany Bolton makes the movie or venture worth seeing and entertaining! She is without a doubt the Lucille Ball of her time! If you watch any of her performances in Black Tie Nights you will see that she is charming, witty, funny and very charismatic. She delivers lines with flawless accuracy and her appearance and facial expressions absolutely steals the viewer's eyes whenever she is on screen and is done so effortlessly, it's clearly second nature to her. She is without a doubt the most pure, natural actress working today. And if you ever get the chance to see her performances in "The Girly Show" she is an absolute delight to watch!

This little production now holds my top pick for worst movie I've ever seen. I don't make claims like this lightly, having seen thousands of films and nearly every sci-fi movie ever made. The flaws in this production are such a distraction, that suspension of disbelief is impossible. Camera composition and blocking have to be the worst aspect, followed closely by lighting, audio recording and direction. I'd like to say that I've seen better film on shower curtains, but this appears to have been shot on video and processed to look like film. Don't ovoid this movie, watch it and learn valuable lessons in film-making 101.