When Will I Be Loved

I found Toback's earlier film Black and White mildly diverting, so gave this one a whirl. The scuttlebutt was that this was Neve Campbell's best (and sexiest) performance so far. Well, that much may be true-ish, but the rest of this film is, in places, almost unwatchably bad.

Most of the characters (or should I say caricatures - take the Italian mogul: did anybody find this man even remotely believable?) are without a shred of originality, and in the case of Ford, bear virtually no resemblance to human beings of the sort you or I might actually meet. It may be that his relentless hustling is *intended* to show him as a pathetic individual - but there is a fine line between depicting characters we may not like but in whom we can invest some interest as to their fate; and, as happens in this film, showing people who are irredeemably ghastly, and about whose fate we don't give a toss.

In Black and White, Mike Tyson had a very funny cameo, in which Robert Downey Junior's character tries to seduce him. Here, it looks as if Toback has simply raided his address book and shoehorned as many celebrity cameos as he could into what passes for the plot. Ooh, look, there's Lori Singer! Wow, there's Mike Tyson (again). Ooh, that really is Damon Dash! Toback's own performance as the "hilariously" named cross-cultural enabler is pure smugness in a bottle. The only honest moment is when he confesses to wanting to get into Neve Campbell's knickers. We can only speculate as to whether that is a case of art imitating life.

And Neve Campbell? Yes, she is good in this. She gets some decent dialogue to get her teeth into and delivers it with aplomb. I still think Wild Things is a better showcase for her talent.

The incident towards the end of the film was certainly unexpected; but then again, any idiot can make unexpected things happen in a film. The trick is to work up to it in *some* way. Toback is either incapable of doing this, or simply can't be bothered. The dénouement left me shrugging: so what? Who cares about these cardboard cut-outs?

When Will I Be Loved is a story about Vera (Neve Campbell), who seems to be struggling with who she is and what she wants out of life. She has a scheming boyfriend named Ford (Fred Weller) whose character is directly lifted from Phone Booth's Stu Shepard, played by Colin Farrell. The two characters are nearly identical, only Ford is not as likable. Other than this, there is no real storyline going on until, after what seems like an eternity, the last 15-20 minutes. It becomes a cross between Indecent Proposal and Wild Things.

Truthfully, this movie bored me until the 3rd act. There is one main reason most men wanted to see this film, and most of you know what it is. Neve Campbell is featured in her first nude scene. While I am certainly all for her doing this, I believe it was done because her career had become a little stagnant. She has not really done anything to note since Scream. I think she had the right idea to get some attention back on herself, she just picked the wrong movie to do it with. There was not even any real reason to have the nudity. It did nothing for the plot, which was nearly non-existent. It was simply thrown in at the beginning and the end. Again, I'm thankful, but I feel it could have been put to better use in a better film with better meaning. It is the only reason I'm giving this movie 5 of 10 stars.

What a real bummer. I have to lay most of the rap on Mr. Toback. First, inserting himself into an already short movie (that must run 81 minutes with opening AND closing credits) appeared both self-aggrandizing, unnecessary, and a near complete digression (as was the lengthy cameo by former boxing great Mike Tyson). I would elaborate but I don't want to ruin some questions that might arise should you be paying attention (Picture Michael Moore on the Atkins diet, wearing a dashiki).

Neve Campbell is thoroughly charming and totally wasted as the lost, passionate rich girl. Bottom line, is that there will be thousands make off of her nudity in this flick. The nudity only consists of a shower scene. The sex scenes are little more than bumping and grinding and contrived, and I can only wonder if the talent were as uncomforable making those scenes as I was watching them.

But back to the erstwhile Mr. Toback, if you listen carefully to his voice early on, then you'll likely hear it in the other characters as well. His New York chatterbox cadence becomes tiresome.

I had hoped for better. Ms. Campbell is a major talent is one or two films away from breaking out super huge. Mr. Toback is also talented though this certainly isn't the work to pin his fame on. I wish them well in their future endeavors, and mourn for the eighty-one minutes I can never get back.

Sexual being Vera Barrie (Neve Campbell) is hired by African studies Professor Hassan Al-Ibrahim Ben Rabinowitz (James Toback) as his assistant. Hustler Ford Welles (Frederick Weller) is working for wealthy Italian Count Tommaso Lupo (Dominic Chianese). He convinces sex partner Vera to spend time with the count for $100k.

I remember the main selling point for this was Neve getting naked. With the recent revelations about James Toback, it's impossible to separate the man from his work. Luckily, his work here isn't good and I'm not conflicted about crapping on this. I only feel bad for Neve Campbell. She was obviously trying to do an art indie as she searched for her place in Hollywood. The other notable is a cameo from pre-tattoo Mike Tyson. It may be one of his last appearance before his tattoo. All the cameo starting with Toback himself are disconnected. They make this guerrilla indie fractured like a student film. The central premise holds some problems mainly with the money. Surely, Vera would want a 50/50 split before the meeting. After getting paid, she could try to buy him off. The conflict could still happen after he finds out the secret but in a different way. The money part lacks credibility. Sadly, Neve's nudity is all that's left. Through it all, she somehow maintains her dignity which is far more than can be hoped for. Toback probably spent more time lining up cameo rather than writing a compelling script. Toback is unable to advance beyond his sad experience.

I am sorry, but this might have been the absolute worst film I have ever seen. I am not usually a harsh critic, but this movie made me ashamed to call myself a fan of Neve Campbell's work. It has no plot, makes no sense, begins stories that it doesn't finish, and goes nowhere. In a word, it sucks. I mean, who cares about a spoiled, rich girl and her sexual escapades. And wow - she's like girls too. A novelty in twenty-first century film-making. Not even the sex scenes were stimulating. Personally, I could have done quite well without being subjected to Neve's pained expressions while being done from behind by her slimy pimp of a boyfriend. And what is with the "African" professor? He is there in the beginning, and then suddenly he's just gone (thank god). I'm not sure if the fact that it is barely over an hour long is a positive or a negative. Negative, because who wants to pay what it costs today to see a film for a mere hour of movie-watching, but positive because I don't think I could have stood a minute longer of such utter crap. I don't think I have ever seen so many people walk out of a theatre mid-movie. The only reason I didn't leave myself was my unfulfilled hope that somehow the movie would redeem itself with an interesting ending. Apologies for my crudeness, but crap is truly what this wannabe Cruel Intentions meets Wild Things meets Indecent Proposal is.