Return to Sleepaway Camp

I was truly looking forward to this being a HUGE fan of the original and was devastated once the DVD had reached the five minute mark.

I kept checking the box to make sure I had been sent the right movie. A $4 million budget, what the hell did they spend it on - catering???!!! - ços the money sure isn't up there on the screen.

Cheaply shot, badly graded, sloppily edited, appallingly scored, a script that sounds like it was scratched down quickly on the back of a piece of toilet paper and the piece de resistance is the DIABOLICALLY BAD performances by a truly inept cast of nobodies.

What was Robert Hiltzik thinking? He should have just left well enough alone and not tarnished the reputation of the ground breaking original.

Avoid at all costs.

The horror industry lately suffers, as I'm sure you're very much aware, from an incredibly annoying trend called remakes. Numerous classics from the 1970's and 1980's – perfectly fine films that absolutely don't require any form of updating – are being remade in order to appeal to nowadays horror loving audiences. That sucks! It also sucks that this trend involuntarily causes you to be milder and a lot less skeptical towards other movies that are nevertheless inferior. "Return to Sleepaway Camp", for example, is a totally redundant and stupidly incoherent sequel that is a quarter of a century overdue, but hey … at least it's not a remake so let's be a little more generous!

I didn't like the original "Sleepaway Camp" very much. The film contained some really ingenious plot ideas and several very grisly images but, regretfully, NONE of these promising elements were processed the way they should have and the shocking climax wasn't shocking enough to compensate for all the defaults. Many old-school slasher fans did count the original among their favorites, and thus the film spawned a handful of sequels. "Return to Sleepaway Camp" is considered to be somewhat unique because it was once again scripted and directed by Robert Hiltzik; the creator of the infamous original. Fair enough, but it isn't because this guy crawled back from underneath a rock after 25 years that the film suddenly becomes an instant must-see cult classic. As to be expected, "Return to Sleepaway Camp" is a routine and hugely derivative slasher picture with uninspired murder sequences and immature attempts at sleazy humor. The atmosphere is light-headed and the production luckily never takes itself too seriously, but generally speaking it's still a waste of time. Strangely enough the film stars a couple of respectable actors, like Vincent Pastore and Isaac Hayes in a flesh & blood portrayal of his South Park character Chef, but most of the cast is a gathering of annoying teenagers (the chubby kid is truly insufferable) and untalented scream queens. Felissa Rose, the one and only Angela from the original, returns to camp as well after 25 years. If you, like me, promptly recognize her amidst the other cast members, it means you've seen way too many stupid 80's slashers.

This is a terrible movie. It just sluggishly plods along, subjecting us to annoying characters, until it reaches its ridiculous end.

The story is insipid and the editing atrocious. (The scene with the Jeep and tree goes on far too long, extinguishing any tension or morbid humour the scene might have had otherwise.) There is an amusing bit, involving a hole in a floor; that scene, with the wonderful stupidity of the characters involved, is the closest the film ever gets to matching the original in terms of gore and humor.

Isaac Hayes seems to be cast only for the joke of being billed as "The Chef," and then disappears after three short scenes. His character serves no other function (unless we needed a black guy to say "motherf*cker" to liven things up a bit.) There is no mystery as to the killer's identity once all of the main characters are established. Alan, who for some unfathomable reason is the film's lead character, is so irritating that his quick death would have perhaps made the film tolerable. However, there he is, in scene after scene, in filthy clothing, telling people that their ass stinks, and then throwing himself pity parties because the other kids don't like him. (Think of Shelly from "Friday the 13th: Part III" but with none of his sympathetic aspects, only the annoying ones, multiplied by ten, and with body odor and a mean streak, and there is your Alan.) (I thought that at least his "your ass stinks" line would serve some purpose, some foreshadowing regarding his or another character's death - death by stinky ass! - but no, it's just his cringe-inducing recurring line, as lacking in purpose as Isaac Hayes' role.) Any fan of the original is going to want - to HAVE - to see this. Just don't blow $20 of your own money on it.

Return to Sleepaway Camp is a huge treat for the fans of the original trilogy, Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten and Paul DeAngelo all return in their respective roles. Tiersten and DeAngelo aren't the best actors but Tiersten absolutely gives it his all.

The plot is terrible, and apart from the one twist at the end held few surprises. However, I have huge praise for the amount of bloody and exciting kills we get, and they're actually all really creative, being killed in different ways. The main character is a loner and a creep towards women and is simultaneously bullied and feared. The music is not great and the dialogue is simplistic and unimaginative.

4/10: A lot of fun, with a surprisingly high amount of creativity put into the kills.

"Return To Sleepaway Camp" isn't as much a real movie as it is a joke that got a bit out of hand. Apparently there's a website entirely devoted to 80s slasher gem "Sleepaway Camp", and they moved heaven and Earth to get some of its cast and crew back together for a sequel. They even got Robert Hiltzik back in the director chair, even though he retired from filmmaking decades prior. Sadly though, that totally shows. Hiltzik has forgotten pretty much everything that made his first movie such an underground classic. The first one thrived on its inventive kills and compelling mystery (with an amazing conclusion). In this one, the kills just make no goddamn sense (the bed of spikes!?) and you've figured out the twist well before halfway. Even worse though is the handling of the characters. When someone teased cute innocent kids in the original, you were glad they died minutes later. In this one the protagonist is a teen that picks on little kids in the cruelest ways possible, and then gets picked on by adolescents in the cruelest ways possible. You just can't sympathize with anyone in this movie, which makes you indifferent to all the deaths. The biggest difference is in the acting though. Why is everyone acting so tongue-in-cheek all of a sudden, why the sudden shift in tone? I don't remember wanting to punch Jonathan Tiersten in the face any time he opened his mouth in the original, what happened? This movie was released four years after completion: that's rarely a good sign.