Arachnia

Well I just finished watching the movie and I regret wasting every second...There's 80 bad minutes of my life that I'm not getting back... The flick is unbelievably "not good". The actors suck, the not-so-special effects suck - at times they are worse than the movies shot at the 50s - the dialogue is tacky...The only scene that caught my attention was Alexxus' naked scene. I just CAN'T believe somebody actually WROTE a script and the whole movie was not improvised! I also can't believe that there is a director out there who was so happy with his work that he allowed this piece of...#### to be produced..DO NOT BY ANY MEANS RENT THIS MOVIE!! IT'S BOTH A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY!

Director Bret Piper's ARACHNIA opens with college professor Munkford (David Bunce) and his students crash-landing in an airplane, and winding up in an old farmhouse.

As the evening progresses, it becomes evident that: #1- Munkford is a creepy pervert! #2- Two of his students, named Trina and Kelly are beautiful, but whiney and brain-deprived! #3- Two other students, named Chandra and Sean are the only members of the group, aside from Munkford, possessing the ability to count past twelve! After the friendly farmer shows them a cow-sized arachnid carcass, humongous horror crawls forth on segmented legs!

This is where Piper's stop-motion and practical creature effects shine, far better than in some of his other films. Make no mistake, this is one big ball of cheeeze-corn from start to finish. However, it is highly entertaining nonetheless. Be sure to stick around for the VERY low-rent military response to the giant bug monsters!

Have no fear, there's nothing serious going on here!...

In a way, you have to respect Arachnia. It's clearly meant as a tribute to the big bug movies of the fifties, and while the special effects look terrible; at least the film doesn't feature CGI. However, on the other hand; you can't respect the film too much because it's a load of rubbish. The acting is terrible, the special effects (as mentioned) are impossible to take seriously, and once you've seen one giant spider being blown up; you've seen them all, so it gets boring rather quickly. The plot follows a bunch of people who are unlucky enough to be in a plane crash after a meteor shower. They go to the only house in the area; which just happens to be a house where a man has a huge spider he used to use as a circus attraction. Coincidently around the same time, the meteor shower has caused more giant spiders to rise from underground. All the characters in this film are poor caricatures; none of them have anything even resembling a third dimension and they will soon begin to thoroughly bore you. You've got to feel for director Brett Piper as he clearly didn't have much to work with for this film; but that doesn't make Arachnia worth a damn, and overall there are better giant bug films than this, and therefore Arachnia doesn't get the seal of approval from me.

Wait no, we should call it an INSULT to the 50's monster movies!

Atrocities like "Monster of the Loch Ness" are "The Godfather" compared to this utter piece of crap!

I'm very angry. I can't believe I spent 80 mins. of my life watching it. It's not that I'm masoquist but I truly enjoy cheesy, low budget b-movies, but this THING went too far.

The acting is sad! The F/X are horrible! laughable! The "Evil Dead 2" reference is atrocious! The lead male character dressing like Ash and sawing the "creature" made me wanna puke! Then there's a guy trying to act/look like Joe Pesci. That was the saddest thing. Horrible movie with horrible intentions.

There's no fear to God and this movie proves it.

PLEASE AVOID IT. PLEASE. 0/10!! Flush it! Probably the worst "horror" movie I've seen and that's a lot to say!

Yep, it's good fun, somewhat low-buck, er, um, no-buck special effects of the Harryhausen school, unintentionally funny dialogue, actors who seem to be buying the preposterous plotline, a couple of cute girls for the guys, a suitably hunky leading man, and spiders, spiders, spiders! Highly recommended on the fun scale, if you're expecting Oscar winners, you're in the wrong place....definitely worth a rental! Oddly enough, none of the reviews I've seen have mentioned the chemistry between the two leads, nice sparks between the two, and believable, plus, she's quite hot, also, all the actors, except for the requisite slimeball come off as very likable folks. My only complaint is that the Vermont location used for shooting can never look anything like the supposed Arizona in the plot...