Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood

Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood (2004)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Padre Jacinto (Paul Naschy) is called upon to kill off some vampires. Flash forward to the present day and a couple idiots release these vampires and soon they are going around looking for sex and blood.

Don Glut's COUNTESS DRACULA'S ORGY OF BLOOD isn't the greatest film that you'll ever watch but at the same time it's got a little charm as well as one big reason for watching it but more on that later. This here is basically a low-budget film that offers up monsters in the background but the main feature is of course the simulated sex scenes, the big-breasted women and of course more big-breasted women.

If you're a fan of these softcore pictures then there's certainly a lot worse out there. I've always enjoyed watching Glut's movies and this one here clearly shows his love of the horror genre. The women are of course beautiful and there's plenty of nudity throughout. With that said, even that gets rather tiresome and the movie really drags at spots. Still, the main reason to watch this is for Spanish horror legend Naschy who appears in about seven or eight minutes worth of footage. Some might be upset that he wasn't the main focus of the picture but it's still nice getting to see him.

Writer director Donald Glut is currently the last man standing in imaginative and intelligent erotic horror. His unfortunately titled "Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood" brings expertise and reverence to the vampire genre, plus a welcome heterosexuality that has been drained (pun intended) by the likes of Ann Rice, Clive Barker, David DeCoteau, and their imitators. Unlike the horror-ignorant productions from Seduction Cinema, Troma, Playboy Films, and lesser filmmakers that exploit the vampire form for dull, formulaic T&A; or the PC feminism of "Buffy" and "Angel"; Glut's eroticism rises FROM the sub-genre's conventions. He essentially brings out the sexuality which the Universal and even Hammer films could only hint at, making it delightfully profane. To that end he is wonderfully assisted by an amazing Glori Ann-Gilbert, whose unrestrained performance as a sexually insatiable, erotically beautiful vampire hits every fantasy mark. There is also a fleeting turn by iconic Spanish Horror star Paul Naschy as a tortured monk that provides a rewarding link to the past and reflects Glut's appreciation for it. Though the movie is hampered by low-budget realities and some unnecessary intentional campiness, it's the best erotic horror film in years, and a key step in Glut's ascent to major minor filmmaker.

Donald F. Glut is one of several indie horror directors' out there, who although has yet to make a great film, has shown flashes of promise, and with a bigger budget could potentially do some big things. As it is, this film is a soft core movie, and has to be judged on it's titillation factor first. I can happily report that Orgy delivers the goods when it comes to the T and A, and girl on girl coupling. The three actresses' were unique from one another which is nice for those like myself who value variety. You have Glori- Anne Gilbert, who is the classic blonde bombshell staple you see in most nudie films, and she is definitely not going to disappoint, you also have Eyana, and Kennedy among others who all contrast well with Glori in the sex scenes. This is a true soft core romp, so the hot scenes eat up the majority of the running time, as it should, however it's a rare thing that a person doesn't fast forward to the good parts in this genre, and I can honestly say I was entertained enough to watch this one straight through. The sets are great for the low budget, and the makeup effects work was also surprisingly well done. It maintained the feel of the genre, without sacrificing what you all want to see. Now don't expect a great horror movie, the acting is solid, and everything looks good, but this is still basically late night material you watch by yourself on a cold winters night. It was great to see Spanish horror icon Paul Naschy, in a short but memorable role, as well as Count Gore De Vol, who hams it up for the camera. The DVD has some cool extra features.

The title here promises a lot, and thanks to the presence of sexy star Glori-Anne Gilbert - it most certainly delivers. Fans that have seen the delectable Ms. Gilbert in films like TREASURE HUNT and CURSE OF THE KOMODO, can now see her darker side as she portrays the sinister seductive neck-biting Countess. Yes there's abundant nudity, but what really makes the show is how Glori-Anne turns what could have been a rather one-note role into a tour de force performance. Not since Ingrid Pitt, in the classic Hammer Film THE VAMPIRE LOVERS, has there been such a multi-dimensional vampiress on the screen. It's amazing to think how this upcoming star will do with future turns in even bigger, more mainstream films. Truly, if you're a fan of this lovely lady, this is a must-have DVD. Check it out!

Short version: Imagine Max Payne 2's "Lords and Ladies" was about lesbian vampires. That's what you get.

Long version for those unfortunate enough to not get an immediate (and precise) image of what the movie is like: I'm judging the movie by "bad movie standards". The plot is obviously a horrid non-sequetir (there are 4 speaking characters out of approx 15 that would have absolutely no place in the movie if it had any sense of narrative structure). The acting is terrible (this coming from someone who finds Julie Strain a perfectly fine actress) and is in no way helped by the (the world lame doesn't even begin to cover it) pompous yet sincere dialog: "Dearest brother, our hour is at hand!". There were moments where I simply had to do something else while shutting my ears as the embarrassingly jarring dialog rolled by.

Also, there are at least 5 minutes of an bald monk glaring and pointing at the camera. "Italian horror legend" indeed.

On the positive side (and this is the only part that should matter for those who have the foresight the watch the movie with a finger right above the fast-forward button) the lesbian scenes are pretty neat and have a bit of "raw vampiric sensuality". Glori-Anne Gilbert never looked better, with or without clothes, the girls are all (at the very least) quite attractive, the lighting is decent and the girls appear to be slightly more into it/ ready to touch each other than in your average softcore flick. Granted, that's not much, but...

The soundtrack is fairly interesting, as well. Probably not everyone's thing, but definitely semi-unique. It's just a shame it doesn't have better scenes/movie to accompany.