13 Dead Men

From the opening titles over colorful graffitti to the stark prison cells, 13 dead men delivers. I was sucked into the film from the get-go. The cinematography was very stark and it had a gritty feel to it. When all others are doing their rendition of "Hong Kong cinema" this film took a hundred eighty degree turn and went "Old school" with its fight action. The Director opted for hand held rough and tumble action that made it feel real. The characters were well defined with a true sense of purpose which is a rare treat since most characters in films of this genre are one-dimensional. The overall direction of both the drama and action is very stylish. Mystikal was one of the shining lights in this film. He outdid himself in this one as an actor. In spite of the low budget feel to it, the movie is really enjoyable.

Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time watching this movie. You'll want that hour and a half of your life back, as do I. Wooden actors, plot holes a mile wide, awful dialogue, and action sequences that my little brother could have choreographed make this hands-down, one of THE worst movies I've seen in a looooooong time. It's so bad you wonder how it ever got made. '13 Dead Men' is the kind of movie you watch for the sole purpose of making fun of it with your friends. Actually, it's the kind of movie you and your friends would make if you were goofing around with a video camera making the script up as you go along.

'Nuff said.

Lorenzo Lamas is a great actor. A poor man's Seagal, he brings a six pack and great hair to every role he plays. 13 Dead Men is no exception, as him and his team of diamond thieves are in charge of breaking a guilty, but not that guilty, man out of prison and into our hearts.

But seriously, this is a real stinker. I was wondering why this needed to be made, but then realized that Van Damme was cast in Expendables 2. This creates a disparity in the world of action stars, as Lamas might now be the only one to not grace the screen in the Stallone epics we have all come to love and cherish. Enter 13 Dead Men, the perfect vehicle to show how Lamas can still get down, Kung-fu style. Oh yeah, and Mystikal is in this too.

Well, I've got no problem with the script, since it's a normal 'good guy in jail' script. But I didn't like something else. Everything! Directed and performed in the worst way it could ever be! The movie has a cheap-porno atmosphere in witch the actors (may God help them become that) perform in a totally unnatural way. Awful! Some actors can be saved though, especially if you think that they had to act in this thing. Resuming : Cheap porno-movie atmosphere, awful acting and directing, lots of violence and dirty talk, cheap chicks and guns. I loved it!

Malachi (Ashley Tucker), is a professional diamond thief and is falsely convicted for murder and is placed on death row in a very high-security prison. There is a crooked Warden named Kowalski (David Weininger) who wants to obtain these diamonds and runs a prison with a staff that is all corrupt and mistreats all prisoners. Shalena Hughes, (Jay'me) is a female prison guard who becomes interested in Ashley Tucker and feels he is being pick on and beaten on a daily basis. Santos,(Lorenzo Lamas) is Malachi's partner in crime and he finds out the warden is planning to up the date on his execution and has to break him out very quickly. There is plenty of violence and horrible beatings and fights throughout the entire film. This film is really a big bomb, and not worth watching, unless you like the great acting of Mystikal, (Caj) who gives a great supporting role.