Hellborn

This is complete and absolute garbage, a fine example of what a BAD movie is like, this can't be appealing to anyone, not even b-movie fans. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT waste precious time of your life on this piece of trash. Bad acting, bad directing, horrible (but I mean really horrible) script, and complete lack of an idea as to what entertainment (of any form) is. I bought the DVD for 3 dollars, I swear I could almost pay someone to take it. Burning it would not be enough for what this movie did to me. I like b-movies, the killer toys, the weird lagoon monsters, but this is nowhere near. You know those movies that are so bad they are funny? Not even. Just plain old pathetic.

A young psychology intern is given his dream job when he is allowed to reside in a hospital for the criminally insane in Asylum of the Damned. Aside from a brilliant creature design (the Harvester) that they hardly even made use of and Bruce Payne at his villainous best, this movie is downright dull and offers nothing new or interesting. Also featured in the cast are Tracy Scoggins and Tiny Lister Jr. However, they aren't given much to do. The rest of the acting is very wooden and forced. Other problems include the script. No explanation of the creature is ever given nor do they explain Payne's motives. It's really sad they couldn't have found a better vehicle for the Harvester design. Don't bother with this one.

I've seen some very terrible horror movies in my time, and while this isn't the worst of the bunch, it's certainly in the lower half. The script starts off OK. A young doctor goes to a hospital as an intern, hoping it will vault him to a better job for him and his future wife. Cute huh? The movie then heads straight into the toilet when you realize that something is killing patients. Turns out that there's a demon on the basement that's harvesting people's souls. It's the job of the 1 doctor, 1 nurse, and 1 security guard in the entire hospital staff to drag this mental patient downstairs, do a ritual that pretty much just involves cutting the tongue out, and then allowing the haunted house prop of a demon to come out and steal his soul through the magic of cheesy special effects. At this point the movie gets so ridiculously stupid, I was begging for it to be over. There was still an hour to go. It looked like a half an hour "Tales From the Crypt" episode that somehow got stretched into an hour and a half crap-fest. From Tiny Lister doing his best John Coffey (The Green Mile) impersonation to Tracy Scoggins playing the stereotypical frigid Nurse Ratchet, this movie fails in every possible level. I gave this 2 stars for only TWO reason. 1) His fiancé is pretty hot, she eased the pain a little towards the end and 2) The movie actually looks OK, a lot better than the current trend of horror movies being made with wal-mart quality home cameras.

In the end, avoid this turd even if you have the Blockbuster movie pass (which I do, and I still felt cheated). As a bonus drinking game, you and your buddies take a shot every time Matt Stasi (Dr. James Bishop) shakes his head while talking. You'll be drunk 15 minutes into the movie.

This movie seemed like it was going to be better than it ended up being. The cinematography is good, the acting seemed solid, the dialogue wasn't too stiff... but then about twenty minutes in there's this long scene with a Doctor who you know is actually a patient at the asylum pretending to be a Doctor - and it just goes south from there.

On top of that, the demon is about the silliest looking hellspawn since the Godzilla-looking thing in Curse of the Demon. There's also some odd demon worshippers who wear masks that look like the exploding teens from the beginning of Logan's Run.

In the end, the cinematography couldn't save this movie. Despite some pretty solid performances by the actors, the story just doesn't go anywhere. I think "Hellbored" would have been a better title for this.

First of, I voted this one a 6. I feel like 6 is 60% or a D... maybe a D-.

However, anything lower than that is too low, in my opinion. Anything higher just wouldn't happen. I thought a lot of the acting was either passable or poor. Tiny Lister made this movie, for me. He's great in as an asylum worker. Like in Don Juan Demarco, also. Also, Paynes did a great maniacal character. I thought the creature looked too hokey. The acting of some of the patients (and Payne and Lister) did much better than the lead role. The plot was somewhat unoriginal, and yet also very original at the same time.

Still, I wouldn't flunk this one. I think a D- is sufficient. I'd watch it again, if it was on TV for free, but I wouldn't recommend it except as a last resort. Hey, that's not too bad, considering there's many movies I wouldn't even recommend for that.