Ultrachrist!

Just a couple of years after Jesus Christ VAMPIRE HUNTER comes ULTRACHRIST, which features another superhero Lord (I know what you're thinking, that one waits for a millennium without seeing even one, and now...) this time He's complete with Spandex outfit, hilariously reminiscent of Monty Python's famous Bicycle Repair Man. Christ returns to earth, Terminator-like, to start His second ministry and promptly moves in with two lipstick lesbians as a base for His low key, but gormlessly naive operations. Meanwhile His old adversary, now running the city's Park Department and local drugs cartel, sends out adversaries - choosing the most evil figures in history (being Adolf Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Richard Nixon and, er, Jim Morrison, naturally enough) against Him. Elsewhere, in a pizza parlour in Heaven, God Himself is mightily annoyed at developments and sends an emissary (the Archangel Ira, the self proclaimed Patron Saint of Erotic Massage) to strip Jesus of His Spandex and thereby reduce the Almighty's embarrassment..

More deftly put together than JCVH, but without the endearingly loopy songs or pastiche kung fu, ULTRACHRIST is just as low budget while still being amusing, and just as essential viewing by way of a further addition to this growing, peculiar mini genre of Christ as crime fighter. As Jesus, Jonathan C Green is perhaps more believable than the previous filmic resurrection ("The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!" he opines), and has more charm of presence, but believability is hardly a key issue here. My favourite bad taste moment is when Jesus' stigmata, after he's excited, ejaculates blood all over his wannabe girlfriend's blouse...

Quite simply, the best feature film about a present-day, super-hero Jesus who wears spandex tights and fights Hitler, Nixon and Jim Morrison to save the world. 11th commandment - thou shalt see this movie, or I'll see you in Hell!

I looked at the walls instead and it was better than this movie.

I found Ultrachrist to be a laugh out loud good time. Jonathan C. Green's portrayal of the childlike savior returned to earth was great fun. The opening of the film is totally cute and the Finale is as well. Yes the movie is low budget but it is a Hoot. My only problem was it seemed to drag along near the end. It is only 92 minutes long but begins to feel like it is +2 hours, before the resolution occurs. For those wondering about a rating PG is pretty much what it qualifies for with Kissing Lipstick Lesbians and an Dominatrix. Overall the acting was sketchy but no one rents a movie this low budget expecting Academy Award winning anything. I had a good time and it wasn't even that blasphemous.

I adored this movie. I mean, who (barring right wing Christian fundamentalists, who seem to be offended at the drop of a hat, which I think counts as nudity to them) would not be at the very least intrigued by the premise of this movie: Jesus comes back to Earth and dons spandex to become a sin-fighting superhero in Manhattan? The scene where Jesus crosses paths with Dracula is worth the price of the rental all on it's own.

That's about all I really need to say. If you're not turned on, then nothing I can say after that will make you like this film. If you are...go find it and have yourself a great time accepting Ultrachrist as your personal savior from normalcy.