Duck! The Carbine High Massacre

i just got this movie in he mail today and i've gotta say it's pretty good. when it first starts, i had to scoff at the acting in the first scene because it was SO terrible, but as the movie progressed, it got better. hellfire and smack aren't bad actors and play their characters rather well. as cheap as the movie was (and i don't mean that as necessarily bad) i couldn't help but to feel some compassion for derick and derwin, particularly the part after derwin gets beat up and derick has to do that presentation by himself. it actually upset me how they were ridiculing him and he was obviously getting upset, and to top it off, the teacher failed him. that was probably my favorite scene. overall, it was a pretty good movie despite some of the acting. i recommend to fans of independent movies.

This film was crap. I agree that a film should be made regarding the columbine shootings, even one with a satirical bent would be appropriate but this piece of cow dung was a waste of time. The filmmakers have no talent to speak of, the acting was atrocious, and the writing was so boring I found myself sighing and screaming at the television to hurry up and finish. I can appreciate underground cinema as much as the next man, but I'm hocking my copy of Duck! and taking whatever I can get. I should mention I have not seen any other titles anybody involved in Duck! may have done but whatever... I'm not gonna try and track them down either.

The massacre at Columbine High School--and the grief of its aftermath drawn out in the mass media--brought the 1990s to a screaming halt in a manner similar to the way Charles Manson's 'family' ended the 1960s on a similarly somber note. In the years that have followed, the incident has been the crux of Michael Moore's "Bowling for Columbine" documentary and Gus van Sant's awful, exploitative art-house take, "Elephant." In Moore's film, more issues than answers are raised, with the ambiguity of motive and reason providing the fuel for discussion and thought; van Sant's film, on the other hand, is 80 shallow minutes that take forever to say absolutely nothing.

"Duck! The Carbine High Massacre" exists in an odd limbo between the above-mentioned films. Not as thought-provoking as Moore's humanitarian view, and not as dull as van Sant's debacle, its biggest claim to fame is being out the gate first (though filmed in 1999, it didn't receive an official video release until last year), though that ultimately isn't saying much. And the rationale for its existence, though the directors claim otherwise, is just as empty as the news media jumping on the handkerchief-wringing bandwagon of sadness carried in the aftermath of the Columbine massacre.

The shot-on-video production (which has the feel of a home movie, thus making its flaws all the more apparent) follows the lives of two put-upon high school kids (played by William Hellfire and Joey Smack) who listen to heavy metal, make bombs, read "Mein Kampf," and are subjected to torture and humiliation by the Alpha Elite, until one day they decide to shoot up the school in a blood-soaked frenzy. The characters are broad stereotypes without names, from a Bible-thumping Puritan, the cheerleader and her jock boyfriend, the gearhead, and the similarly tormented Goth kids--the cast isn't experienced enough and the writing isn't sharp enough to bring off the cutting satire successfully, so the film just winds up wallowing in its over-the-top excess, pandering for our attention.

That's not to say it isn't without its merits--though some of the humor is awkward (when a husband beats up his wife after hearing some heavy metal music, for instance), the youthful characters hit the right notes in spite of their heavy-handed approach. Needless to say, Hellfire and Smack carry this 20-minutes-too-long picture, and exhibit a deeply felt rapport whenever on screen; though their characters are ultimately as clichéd as the bullying jocks, we are sympathetic towards their plight without necessarily agreeing with it.

On the other hand, "Duck!" trots out nerve-obliterating clichés (how many times did we need to see that wounded kid running out of the building, on TV?), unfunny one-liners, and very poor acting by the surrounding adults. It gets to the point where any commentary on school violence is jettisoned for a "Natural Born Killers"-style festival of excess, to the point where the film becomes a chore to watch.

Ultimately, "Duck!" is an unbalanced misfire that takes the good with the bad, but doesn't elicit the strong reaction it is so desperately trying to provoke. What's left is the promise of seeing something of fairer quality from the Hellfire/Smack duo one day, so...better luck next time, guys.

If there was a controversy over this movie I never heard anything about it, and the small number of votes here would seem to indicate it was never much of an important topic.

The only controversy that should be related to this movie is whether or not it should qualify as a "movie" at all, since it looks and especially sounds as though it was made by a high school drama club on one of their dad's VHS camcorders.

This is just terrible. Can't believe we made it through the whole thing. And this is coming from someone who actually enjoys watching bad/cheesy movies.

I review another flick with Joe Ned because it wasn't listed on IMDb This flick here is one that people do search so therefore I will review another Tina Krause flick that not that many people has seen. Chloroformed And Cloned Co-Ed. It is out on shock-o-rama VHS and is OOP and very obscure. It's just a piece of trash with really bad acting but what makes it collectible is the fact that Tina Krause is in it, known for her nudity and that is what she does here. From the first minute until the last minute she is walking around with her juggs to show. Only a few times she goes full frontal. The tape I received didn't had any year on it it was made and there's nothing to find on the Web.

The story goes that Suzy Johnson (Tina Krause) and her boyfriend are adding some new kicks towards there sexlife. But Suzy ends up dead after an experiment with chloroform and electrocution. A deranged medical student clones Suzy 16 times. But they all escape and enters a house with a German butcher who only likes to violate them. The story looks promising but it all looks like a spoof. Bad bad acting and only the juggs of Tina are acting better than the thespians themselves. It's ultra low budget, just look at the electrocution scene, the light goes out and back on and it repeats but you can easily hear that someone is playing with the switch.

Total crap but collectible due a few reasons, first, Tina Krause, but also in the acting is John Bacchus who went further to direct a lot of erotic spoofs and flicks. Maybe the best known Play-mate Of The Apes (2002). Alan Spence just turned up one more time as cinematographer in The Vampire's Seduction (1998). Joe Ned also went further as writer and producer in the erotic business. G.W Lawrence was also involved but can't say if it was him as seen in Play Dead (1998)? If you want to see early shock-o-rama's just before Misty Mundae became involved, also seen a lot together with Tina Krause then it's a hunt worthy. Give it 2 on 10 Gore 0/5 Nudity 3/5 Effects 0/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 0/5