Garden of Love

Let's face it...most people do not know the name Olaf Ittenbach. And to an extent, for good reason. While I'm a fan of his, I find it hard to watch a lot of his earlier stuff and even his newer stuff can be hard to find. But if you're a gorehound (I would not say that about myself, but I do love a good splatter movie now and again), then a healthy Ittenbach collection is a must. It would be very hard to make an argument that anyone currently working in special effects (let alone directing) has the talent he has for making a head go pop or letting loose an almost hilariously unnecessary amount of blood at one time.

With that said, Ittenbach's movies seem to have a bit of a formula to them. They'll usually assault you virtually in the opening credits, drag along for a little while, give you a pretty intense amount of non-stop gore, fade away for a bit longer, and then hit you with a blood soaked climax. The trick is to make it through the parts that are boring to get to the good stuff. "Rebecca Verlaine" is a prime example of this. Mass murder within the first 5 minutes, then a pretty unimpressive story for 20-30 minutes, a big dose of people getting their faces ripped in two and/or their limbs torn off, more boring crap for awhile, and then a nice finale so Ittenbach can let you know who's boss. That...and his trademark disregard for accents. I swear, if there's 4 people in a scene at least 2 of them will have different accents from the others. And there's no rhyme or reason. Sometimes one brother has a German accent and the other British...Olaf doesn't care.

In the hands of a less capable special effects man, this easily would be nearly unwatchable. But as it stands it's quite watchable, especially for the aforementioned gorehounds. A 7 may be a bit of a stretch, but what can I say...I'm a tad biased towards the man's movies. Now if it could just have been as cool as "House Of Blood"...

So, I ignored my better sense and watched this disaster of a film. It's not funny, and even the gore is ridiculous and shot so poorly you can't even enjoy that aspect.

The acting is funny, it's horrific and not in a good way. I used to think freddy got fingered was the worst movie ever made - then I watched this. If I had't been on a plane with nothing better to do I would have stopped watching after the first 5 minutes. But I watched it to the end, and no it doesn't get any better.

The story is stupid, the direction is pathetic, there are 6 year olds that act better than any of the "actors" in this movie, and the script is literally so dumb I was wondering if there is a country somewhere where people actually talk like the actors in this film.

It's bad - really bad - like so bad I would rather have been cleaning toilets than watching this movie. Ignore the good reviews, it's crap - I only gave it 2 stars for the "plot twist" at the end and even that was cliché.

I have had the pleasure of seeing this film at a horror festival in Edinburgh. Garden of Love does not have a serious bone in its sick low-budget body. There is lots and lots of blood and gore, starting with the opening credits. The plot is extremely silly like everything else in this film. In fact you might say this film is a pastiche of gory films. At first this film seemed really bad, but it was so entertaining that the director must have been doing something right. Garden of Love definitely needs to be enjoyed in company (with like-minded people!).

A lot of people were laughing at the quality of the acting, but to be so funny throughout the film it had to be deliberately bad - SURELY?. The character playing Munster was my definite favourite and I would see the film just for his extremely camp performance. I am not sure that many actors could have made the awful lines quite so funny.

You may have gathered that Garden of Love won't be everyone's cup of tea but if you have a soft spot for bad taste gory films then see it, because it's wonderfully awful.

Lots of gore in what I suppose is a fairly well done way? I don't mind that if it supports the story instead of just being there for the sake of it as here. Just kind of stupid when it's silly splatter for splatter's sake. The story itself is pretty silly really. The bones of it are ok, but it's not fleshed out. The acting is ok, but the dialogue is pretty insane at times. When a detective is relating the story of the bloody massacre at the back of everything his over the top dramatic dialogue - as opposed to the dry just the facts narration you would expect - is the best part of the movie actually because it's funny. On the whole the movie is pretty dumb and not worth the watch unless you just like watching people being ripped apart by ghosts. Like my title says If blood is all you love, then that's what you'll receive.

Okay, ask yourself if you enjoy gore. Are you okay with weak but humorous acting? Do you like silly writing? Once again ask yourself, if you enjoy gore. You do like gore? And funny acting and writing!? Well, alright, this movie's for you!

Once again, the master of brutal gore delivers another solid piece of super violent entertainment. This go around it surrounds a girl who's being haunted by her dead family. They want revenge and the only way they can achieve it is by this young lass to help out. There's more back-story, with some mystery involved, but that's basically the plot.

The story itself surprisingly was pretty fun. There were some lulls, but nothing that'll bore you so much that you'll shut it off or skip the scene. Regardless of a slow part here and there, the story was directed well, and with the awesome violence thrown in, it turned out to be a very fun Ittenbach flick. Definitely recommendable to gorehounds and fans of the Olaf.