Witchcraft XII: In the Lair of the Serpent

Willy "The warlock" Spanner returns yet again, recast.....yet again.

Here he is investigating a spate of occult murders and *Yawn*

Sorry zoned out there, I'm binge watching the franchise you see and I think it's done permanent damage to my psyche.

This is actually possibly the worst yet and that is a real accomplishment considering how horrendously bad they all are. Boobs, bad sfx and rinse, wash, repeat.

I'm impressed that the franchise lasted so long, I'm also impressed that this is the 12th movie and they still haven't made one that I've rated higher than 3/10!

The Good:

Creature effects

The Bad:

Actually manages to look cheaper than the others

Poor sound balancing

Cover art is just laughable

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

The front cover looks like it should read Brazzers not Witchcraft

Witchcraft 12, by far, is the best in the series. The acting is a whole lot better, the CGI effects fantastic, and the sex scenes were better choreographed. Also, I liked the woman that was in this movie. Janet Tracy Keijser. I have alot of her movies. 5 I think. And I've always found her to be the highlight. The thing about her is. She can really act. Unlike a lot of actresses in the b-movie industry these days. I give the movie a 9. I was able to get through this one in just one viewing. That shows right there how much work they put into this.

Witchcraft XII: In the Lair of the Serpent (2002)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

The series no one wants to end reaches the twelfth entry as a man is murdered by a hooker who just isn't your typical hooker. No, she's working for the devil and sure enough the victim just happened to be friends with the one and only Will Spanner (Chip James) who teams up with a detective to try and figure out what's going on. WITCHCRAFT XII will probably only be viewed by those crazy enough to work their way through the entire series but I will at least give writer-director Brad Sykes some credit for at least trying to do some interesting things here. I thought the story itself, while unoriginal, was at least mildly interesting and I also thought we got some campy death scenes that actually works in a low-budget way. We also got plenty of nudity/sex scenes and these here really reach the point to where they're not erotic but instead just boring and obviously meant to expand the running time (did people really need these films running 90-minutes?). Another problem is something only "fans" of the series will notice but it's clear Mr. Sykes didn't watch earlier films because Will's home location is mixed up here and the two detectives that have been a major part of the series are missing here and we're introduced to a new one. With that said, WITCHCRAFT XII features some decent performances but there's still no question that it's a poor movie that's appeal is going to be very limited.

Jeff Lawton goes to a strip club (where nobody strips) with a woman, and leaves with another one. They have sex, and a black-robed figure with a black mask shows up. The figure's eyes light up red, and Jeff's dead body is found with his face burned, and a serpentine symbol cut into his chest.

Will Spanner visits Cindy Lawton, the Lawtons being good friends of his - Jeff his best friend, in fact, even though he hadn't been in any of the previous eleven Witchcraft movies. Reluctant warlock Spanner was in most of the previous ones (all but 8 and 10, and in the first two he has different surnames), though I didn't catch here if he was still working as a lawyer. He's played here by a different actor, again. This may be the first one in which he had a tattoo (on his shoulder, possibly a Chinese dragon) and a nipple ring.

More men are being killed, lured by several different women to where the black-robed figure shows himself. The symbol proves to be that of the Order of Shades (that's what I heard, others online have heard it as the Order of Chase), a 16th Century cult devoted to the snake-god Malleus.

There are a number of sex scenes, which unlike the strip club, do feature some nudity. There's not a lot of Witchcraft. The black-robed figure can shoot red lightning out of his red eyes. Spanner supposedly used some witchcraft to pursue the cult, but we don't see that. He has a book that Cindy calls a spellbook, but from what we see of it, it appears to be a book about depictions of witchcraft and vampires in popular culture. Spanner can shoot blue lightning out of his hands, though, and his eyes light up too.

Not terribly good. The sound quality was fairly poor at times, rendering the dialogue muffled.