Der Herr des Hauses

There are movies that come out of nowhere, completely enrapture us, and have us singing their praises to anybody who will listen. Movies that will stand the test of time and be added to most DVD collections. Other movies (Alone in the Dark) appear in our theaters only briefly, and much like Funyon-induced flatulence, they stink up the joint and then disappear as quickly as they came. Then there are movies like Man of the House. They come, they moderately entertain, but they really don't add anything fresh or new to the industry. They simply manage to keep you smiling for an hour and a half before making their way to the Wal-Mart bargain bin.

The generically cheesy title (Man of the House? Come on!) should immediately warn you that we're not exactly diving into uncharted waters. No towing the line will be allowed here! But that's OK. Sure, the movie is by-the-numbers, predictable, silly, and whatever other clichéd buzz words you want to use for a movie that's not brimming with originality. It's a pretty simple mix really: we've got Jones, some hot cheerleaders to look at, and a few laughs. Fortunately, I like Jones and hot cheerleaders. And you know what? I laughed! I didn't have to see a doctor about my busted gut afterwards, but I was entertained, and sometimes that's enough to satisfy me on a Friday afternoon.

This is a fun, cutesy, fluffy movie that bases most of its jokes on the contrast of Tommy Lee Jones' no-nonsense, non-joking persona with the bubbly personalities of five college cheerleaders who don't appreciate his rules. Of course, this means they will do their best to rebel a bit. For example, they continue to dress scantily despite Jones' insistence that they try to wear a few more articles of clothing. No problem. TLJ just purchases an extremely expensive air conditioner to force them to cover up. It may cost the Texas Rangers a few thousand dollars, but it'll teach those girls a lesson in modesty! In a surprising twist that is bound to shake the very foundations of cinema as we know it, the gals grow to like TLJ despite his leather tough exterior. They really want to help him discover his inner sensitivity because let's face it, when you look like a piece of beef jerky you need all the help you can get. So when TLJ has a big date with one of the cheerleaders' professors (Anne Archer), they swoop in to trim his nose and ear hair, give him a manicure, and tidy him up. All the middle-aged women who love Tommy Lee Jones and his Southern drawl go awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! And the scene where the cheerleaders help teach Jones how to skate is also sure to make those elderly female hearts flutter. I won't spoil it for you and tell you whether he falls or not. I'll give you the joy of finding out for yourself.

Then of course there are the jokes that play to the stereotype of some cheerleaders not being too bright. When Jones announces that he's with the Texas Rangers, one of the cheerleaders excitedly asks, "Do you know Derek Jeter?" Some people will find moments like this to be stupid, while others (such as my mother and sister) will think they're absolutely adorable.

The best advice I can give you is to picture in your mind Tommy Lee Jones living with five cheerleaders. How funny is the image to you? Let that be your guide. If you don't like TLJ, then there's not much here for you because he's responsible for keeping this from being a made-for-TV movie that I probably wouldn't have had any interest in watching.

THE GIST Man of the House isn't exactly a movie to get excited about, but it provides enough laughs to keep its head above water. If you like Tommy Lee Jones (or hot cheerleaders) and you thought the trailer looked halfway decent then this is a serviceable matinée (or a future rental). Otherwise, you probably won't find it worth your time.

Rating: 3 (out of 5)

Ridiculous premise? Absolutely.

Predictable plot line? Unfortunately.

But I'll tell you what, when I saw this movie, the solidly-packed audience found it quite hilarious, and so did I. Of course, the Austin setting was a plus for me, and it was the first movie filmed around UT that was allowed to use the name and logos. It was fun to see local landmarks including Buffalo Billiards, Threadgill's, the campus and the Governor's mansion, but how could Tommy Lee Jones go to Threadgill's and leave without eating one deep-fried dill pickle??

I made a unofficial poll of the women that I know who are over 40 years of age, and every single one said , " I LOVE Tommy Lee Jones!" If that is part of his demographic, this movie should do really well, with TLJ delivering zingers in that cowboy voice, admitting to his 55+ years, and keeping his smiles for the womanly Anne Archer while wrangling the herd of young cheerleaders.

The supporting cast was also fun to watch - just remember this is not a film - it's a MOVIE!

Tommy Lee Jones, one of my favorites, is type-cast as a Texas Ranger. Cedric is a minister with a criminal past, and the girls are just short of interchangeable bimbos. Anne Archer is thrown in to be a love interest for Tommy and does very little except smile sexily at the camera (which she does well... I also love Anne Archer). The storyline is very predictable, with few surprises. So why did I vote it 7/10? It's a comedy, the writing does rise here and there out of cliché, and the stars - Jones, in particular - have perfect timing. I watched the entire movie, laughed periodically (many's the recent comedy that gets no laughs), and, as one must, didn't take it too seriously. 99% of the pyrotechnics occur in the first ten minutes, and after that it's up to TLJ and the cast to keep it moving and, somehow, they do. With less interesting stars to work the lines this movie could easily drop to below 5...

Man Of The House is about a Texas Ranger named Roland Sharp (Tommy Lee Jones) who is hunting down potential witnesses and leads to testify against a mob boss. While on the verge of capturing a potential lead, his partner is shot and he loses his witness. Everything is up in the air and no one knows which way to go when, luckily, five cheerleaders witness the execution of the man Sharp was trying to capture, who is named Morgan Ball (Curtis Armstrong - Who would have thought he would still be making movies long after his most successful stint as Booger has long been dead). After the girls decide to do the right thing, and tell the police, they are held in protective custody until they can capture the criminal who would surely be looking for them. They decide that Sharp will look after them personally and live in the same house as long as needed. This is where the comedy really begins.

The movie is meant to be a comedy, and I think Tommy Lee Jones did an excellent job with it, as well as Cedric The Entertainer. The movie opens like a typical action movie and then goes with the comedy all the way until the end, when it reverts back to that one big action sequence to end it all.

Jones and Cedric made the movie as good as it was. The cheerleaders were simply eye candy, which is just fine by me. My favorite being Barb (Kelli Garner). Jones comes off a little too old when he refuses to let the girls run around the house in the usual skimpy teen attire we all see nowadays, but that is just to show his character. You still get to see plenty of the girls, which is probably as much an attraction as Jones and Cedric.

This movie is a little hard to review for some reason but like I said in the title, if you liked the movie Miss Congeniality, then you will most likely enjoy this one, too. They are cut of the same cloth, so to speak. If you did not like Miss Congeniality, then you probably will not like this either. I guess that is the best way to put it. I enjoyed it for what it was. 7.5/10

Another routine film where Texas cheerleaders witness a murder and are then protected by Marshal Tommy Lee Jones. Jones shows a thick Texan accent and is aging. The guy looks like he has not had a good night sleep in a while.

Naturally, while they are confined, the girls learn a lot from Jones and he in return learns from them.

Nice seeing Anne Archer back in films after a hiatus for her. As English literature professor, Molly McCarthy, her part is small but she shows real professor-like teaching in her class. She is good at giving out the assignments.

The last scenes are exciting when the killer catches the daughter of Jones and the cheerleaders are able to get her off the bus. While the girls are not exactly brilliant, they know do some degree what life is all about. The former also best describes this film which has a few funny moments. Cedric the Entertainer appears in the first and last scene as a preacher with a jaded past.