Final Call - Wenn er auflegt, muss sie sterben

"Cellular" has the setup for a solid straight-ahead thriller: A kidnap victim who does not know where she is being held phones a total stranger who must then stay connected on his cell phone to find her before she is killed. Joel Schumacher scored earlier with a similarly phone-themed Larry Cohen story, "Phone Booth." As executed by tone-deaf director David R. Ellis, however, "Cellular" becomes an unintentionally hilarious cousin to Brian de Palma's "Raising Cain" and "Snake Eyes."

Ellis seems to have unwittingly spliced together two different films with mismatched tones: Kim Basinger as the kidnapee and Jason Statham as the kidnapper occupy the deadly-serious, straight-to-video thriller half, while Chris Evans as the rescuer and William H. Macy as a police officer seem to be in a "Saturday Night Live"-alum action comedy. Nowhere else is the disjointedness in tone more apparent than when Basinger and Evans's performances are placed side-by-side during their conversations: The scenes keep cutting between an overwrought Basinger wringing out every drop of melodrama, while a blissfully inept Evans seems to be channeling a cross between Chris Kattan/Jimmy Fallon and Ben Affleck/Keanu Reeves.

Meanwhile, Ellis pulls out tricks intended to generate thrills and surprises. He throws in out-of-nowhere "shocks," a la "Final Destination"; he throws in flashbacks; he throws in a gun-blazing Macy in Jerry Bruckheimer action-hero slo-mo; and yet, Ellis has no handle on staging any of them competently. Case in point: "Cellular" is the proud owner of one of the most ineptly scored chase sequences ever, as if Ellis simply heard a snippet of the song's lyrics ("...where you gonna run to?") literally and paid no attention to the inappropriateness of the accompanying music (which just bop, bop, bops along). (The song is even reprised during the closing credits, which itself is misbegotten in conception.)

And yet, for all of its failures as art, "Cellular" is always entertaining for those very same faults.

I happened to catch this movie during a free-preview weekend on Starz. I had never heard of it, so I did not know what to expect. For the whole duration of the movie, about 90 min., I was at the edge of my seat. The plot takes several unexpected turns and is packed with continuous action, while the characters are very believable. O.k., fine, it does not deal with deep moral issues, if you want a movie that will make you want to go out and change the world this is not it. But if you want an entertaining movie that will give you a big dose of adrenaline, will have you raise yourself from your seat, I strongly recommend it. By the way, I am not a big fun of horror teenage movies like Scream, I just don't find them believable, and find the characters shallow. The best part about this movie is that you actually feel sympathy for the victims, the plot is probable, and the action scenes do not require that the actors possess superhuman strength. At the end of the movie the only thing I could think of was "holy cow", a response I usually associate with a great roller coaster ride.

This movie whisked me away and entertained me so thoroughly I barely knew what had happened. Look, I've heard say there are plot holes you could drive a truck through, and I do get motivated by tight and clever screenplays, but this movie did something very few movies have ever made me do: it made me happily overlook whatever minor flaws it has in favor of just enjoying it as a mutifaceted, beautifully executed, almost one-of-a-kind movie-going experience. My wife and I both alternately laughed and cried, and we both agreed it was probably the best (fun) movie we've seen in a very long time. Bravo all concerned!

As if to prove my point, this morning I heard a review by some critic writing for Newsday (out of New York). The guy was so pathetically ENVIOUS of this so-not-New York movie that I had to laugh out loud in sheer delight.

I like a movie that takes an idea or a theme or just an amusing gimmick and then runs with it. There is something exhilarating about being able to exhaust the possibilities of an idea without beating the whole thing to death. A great example is GROUNDHOG DAY; just when you think the filmmakers have milked the idea for all it's worth, they take off on a totally new tangent and the film ends up getting better and better. It is a sign that the writer and/or the director are thrilled with the sheer joy of creative exploration. They aren't just playing by the numbers, but are eager to go beyond expectations. This is film-making as a challenging game.

CELLULAR, while not in the same league as GROUNDHOG DAY, is nonetheless a good example of this type of storytelling. This time the linchpin of the story is the cell phone. The filmmakers seem to have made a list of everything that makes cell phones great (emergency use, portability, digital photography, etc.) as well as what makes them a nuisance (ringing at inappropriate times, crossed connections, lost signals, dying batteries, etc.) and incorporated both lists into a story. The trick isn't just to gerryrig the list into a story, but to do so in a coherent and plausible fashion. CELLULAR is a crackerjack piece of storytelling. The storyline is unlikely, but not impossible and it all unfolds at a steady clip that makes any loophole or implausibility fly by so fast that the viewer has little time to raise a question.

Beyond the gimmickry of the storytelling, the film also benefits from being a solid, efficient, no-nonsense piece of film-making. Directed by actor-turned-stuntman-turned-director David R. Ellis, this is an action-packed thriller that knows the value of blending action with humor and character. Without loosing its manic pace, the film nevertheless takes time for puckish humor and character development. As the damsel in distress, the Hitchcockian innocent man sucked into a web of intrigue and the retiring cop facing his one last case, the actors could have been saddled with one-note, cliché characters. But Kim Basinger, Chris Evans and William H. Macy are given ample room to not only act, but to create characters who are, more importantly, smart. They aren't at the mercy of the complicated plot, they are what moves it along.

My one genuine reservation with CELLULAR is that it is destined to become dated so very fast. Technology, the film's driving force, will quickly be its undoing. It brings to mind old episodes of the "Columbo" TV series, where Peter Falk's Lt. Columbo is seen to be in awe of computers and answering machines and video cameras and VCRs, and he has to go into great detail explaining how such gadgets and gizmos work and how they can be used as part of a murder plot. The cutting edge technology of the time now seems so elementary that Columbo's naivete seems rather silly. Yet, the Columbo stories still hold up thanks to clever storytelling and strong characters played by good actors. And from that perspective, CELLULAR just might hold up to be a minor classic, albeit as a period piece.

My husband and I saw this movie last night, and were extremely pleased by it. The movie starts with a bang immediately and keeps going! We found it well written, well acted and well directed. It's suspenseful and quite thrilling. I thought the actor's characters were right on target - the self centered young man, the distraught and frantic mother, the tired cop waiting for a retirement he's not quite sure he wants, and the baddies - whooo boy! In this movie, the baddies are without any redeemable features - the kind that you yourself would like to beat the tar out of!! Speaking of beating the tar out of someone, wait until you get a dose of the lawyer - egads. The movie is fast paced with nary a dull moment. The action scenes were great, and the building of the tense moments was very well done. Drama, suspense and with a touch of comedy - what more are you looking for in a movie?