The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String

Lord of the G-Strings (2003)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

This being Seduction Cinema and featuring Misty Mundae you know you're in for some soft-core sex. This here is a spoof of the LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy with Misty playing the Throbbit Dildo Saggins who is given the magical G-string from a drunken wizard. Dildo must then travel to a lesbian island to destroy the bad guys while along the way licking as many women as possible. I guess it's fair to say that the "story" really shouldn't matter in a film like this but while watching it I still couldn't help but have a flashback to my teenage years where my buddies and I would stay up late on Friday nights just to check out the latest soft-core flick on Cinemax. You know, looking back on those movies they actually look pretty good and especially when you compare them to the latest trend, which is low-budget movies shot quickly and with a mostly unknown cast. Mundae has become a cult favorite due in large part to her very much looking like the girl next door. In the day and age where every "porn" star has breast implants, tans and more fake parts than a Frankenstein monster, many people enjoy the natural looking Mundae. I must admit that she's quite cute and when she wants to she can also deliver a fine performance. The performance aspect is pretty much gone here but she does manage to have a couple good sex scenes including a sequence towards the end where the threesome eventually turns into a sevensome as more and more ladies join the fun. I will admit that most of the sex scenes get rather boring as the soft-core elements just aren't as strong as many other films out there and even for such a soft flick the scenes just seem too timid for their own good. The supporting cast features some familiar faces to those familiar with Seduction Cinema. As you'd expect, on a technical level everything is pretty bland here with some incredibly bad acting, silly costumes and some computer effects that appear to be left over from the era of the original Duck Hunt. Fans of THE LORD OF THE RINGS probably won't be impressed with any of the "jokes" here as they are pretty lame. So, with that in mind, the film's really just for Misty fans who must see everything she's done.

OK first its soft-core porn, if you don't like a lot of soft lesbian scenes you may as well go elsewhere. As far as porn rip offs of well known films go this isn't bad. The characters are easy enough to laugh at, Erin Brown (Aka Misty Mundae) is hysterical as the main character and her wizard mentor Smirnof will have you in stitches. The plot is of course a very simplified version of the Tolkien books with as many sex based jokes as they could cram into one script. The effects are cheap and so are the costumes but you won't care. The actors know they are making a cheap parody and they run with it playing it for laughs all the way. There are several times they break the fourth wall but if it worked for Groucho it can work for this film. Grab a beer or 6 and some pretzels, but try not to drink to fast or you may end up doing spit takes while watching this.

The idea is almost kind of fun. For about 10 minutes, when the thing starts to sag like some of the botoxed bossomy broads passing themselves off as actresses.

The whole thing gets bogged down with so many bad ideas, poor execution and acting so excrutiatingly bad it makes the worst of soap operas look and sound like Shakespeare.

This would be better off as full fledged porn rather than a feeble attempt at aiming towards "B" moviedom. As it is it seriously stinks.

All in all I'd say this flick is about as much fun as a barrel of dead monkeys. Nah, it ain't that much fun.

I've noticed that the comments about this video are all about the Original 'Un-Rated' Version of the video. Most of the people say that the sex scenes are lame and seem to take away from the movie. Also, I've seen people say that it could have been funnier. Well, there is a REALLY different alternate edit of the movie which is hard (if not impossible) to find in stores. I had to order it from Seductions Cinema's website. This version is a 'R-Rated' version with virtually all of the sex scenes edited out and replaced with comic scenes. I liked this version a lot better. It flowed better and was much more enjoyable to watch. Now, if you find low budget 'B-Movies' painful to watch, then you should still avoid this film. But, if you are a fan of those kind of films (and Seduction Cinema's earlier funnier work)you might want to try to get the Alternate edit of this video.

If you're looking for steamy soft core, this isn't it. It's an actual attempt at comedy, not something Seduction Cinema does well. I've seen several of their movies and this one is the worst so far. As a certified male pig, I was looking for a lot of nudity and as much of that as possible....what I got was a bad comedy and some television-style T&A. Avoid this one, and if you're a big Misty Mundae fan see SpiderBabe or Lust for Dracula instead. I give it a 2 only because Misty Mundae was her ever-amusing self in it.

The comedy isn't mind-bogglingly awful, it's just bad. You will even chuckle at a few places, but overall you'll wish you saw something else. Think you're going to see a lot of g-strings? Think again.