Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

Shark Attack 3 is truly an awful movie, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't grab some friends and popcorn and spend your evening watching it. It is so awful, the acting so campy, the special effects so cheesy, the dialog so terrible and the plot so contrived from Jaws that this movie is a must see. The sharks are nothing more than stock footage (and how does stock footage eat people? you ask...oh, you'll see!), the Mexican actors are, in actuality, Russian/Bulgarian, and there are some truly unforgettable scenes. Not to mention a rather dirty pick-up line...

I've seen some bad movies in my day, but I must admit that Shark Attack 3 truly takes the cake. Go check it out yourself. (But avoid Shark Attacks 1 and 2, they're reportedly decent.)

PS I changed the ten to a one since a lot of SA3 'fans' want it in the Bottom 100. I agree.

While it's difficult to find anything useful to add to the many insighful reviews of this "movie," there is at least one performance I think deserves special mention. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon offers one of the best examples of "method acting" I've ever seen. Leading man John Barrowman so immerses himself in his character that his single-minded approach dominates every scene. Unfortunately, the character he assumes for this movie was not that of Ben the glorified lifeguard who appears in the script, but the character of Tom Cruise playing Ben the lifeguard. In almost every shot, Barrowman can be seen ripping off a Cruise smile, a Cruise laugh, a Cruise pose, a Cruise expression, a Cruise anything he can get his hands on. And all this is completely independent of whatever Ben the Lifeguard is supposed to be doing in the scene other than being a Tom Cruise impersonator. I've seen some other actors attempt similar feats (Skeet Ulrich as Johnny Depp comes to mind), but none has taken on this particular role with such scrupulous dedication and total disregard of its effect on the actual movie.

When I first watched the movie, I recognized a lot of footage from underwater documentaries (the producers should check copywright details with the estate of cmdr. Cousteau & others). The first half of the movie was no more than a lame excuse to show naked women and people being eaten. If you look close you can actually see a lot of editing mistakes. PS. sharks do not roar like some kind of mutated dog in the water !!!

When the director tries to create the feeling that the shark is swimming at a tremendous depth, you can see the surface in the background. The same goes vice versa.

In the second half there are different sharks taking on the role of the lead character. The actual megalodon is displayed as a 30's monster that eats everything in its path. A shark (even a Megalodon), would never eat a full size motorboat or jetski, try passing such a thing true your intestine...?. And why, were people jumping in the water when there is a shark attacking your boat? Why .... you should check it out yourself, you'll find lots of fun things to discuss.

I don't usually comment on films that have more than 100 reviews I agree with, but I can not help but comment on this one. Not that there is much to add, mind you. This film is craptacular! On one hand it may just be the worst movie ever, and I mean ever, made. One the other, I have never laughed that much at a film before.

The shark that changes from a Great White to a Tiger shark, back to a Great White in one attack. Ben's fabulous digital camera, which magically knows what he's taking a picture of and removes everything else from the photo. The lead actress (and I use the term actress loosely) who never stops smiling, even when she's crying. The mini sub that's bigger inside than outside. The Bulgarian actors trying to sound like Mexicans. The totally redundant sex scenes. The LINE (you probably know what it is, but on the off chance you don't - you'll know it when you hear it). All this adds up to hilarity. Too bad they were aiming for horror.

Some people will say that it's a bad film, and advise against it. If I had expected a good megalodon (megalo-who? lol) film and been shown this instead, I would have been disappointed. But people, lets face it, it's called Shark Attack 3! How serious can such a film be? Instead, read the reviews (and in this case even spoilers don't actually spoil anything), grab your friends and prepare to laugh like a loon!

In short, I'll give this film 1 star, but it deserves 10 for pure comic value.

I really don't think I've ever seen a film that was worse than this one. At the piece of dialogue that is commonly referred to as 'THE LINE' I actually HAD to call my friend with whom I've seen lots of movies lately. I told him what the movie was about and we watched the finale 'together', him on the phone, me doing the live reporting from behind the screen. Laughing out loud almost all the time.

I don't think there's a single one of this films atrocities left that hasn't already been commented on, but it really keeps you roaring with laughter the whole 90 minutes. Oh... maybe there is something I didn't hear anybody rant about. The marlin footage. Was that seventies? Sixties maybe? Was it even in color? And really... What was that guy having sex for? And did I really pick up the suggestion that that woman was his fathers (?) wife???