Santa's Magic Kingdom

This film is currently (Dec. 2005) airing on ComCast On Demand under the Something Weird section. (Good ol' Something Weird Video.) Apparently it was made to be shown at various Santa's Villages and Santa-themed children's parks. (You'll notice that Santa says things like 'This is what you might see at one of my many villages', suggesting that it was meant to shown without any specific park being mentioned.) Basically, its meant as an introduction/commercial for such establishments.

The production value is laughable, coming off as a home-movie that had sound dubbed in later. Many bizarre creatures (Easter Bunnies, an ugly Cinderella (with a sickly green face thanks to faded film color), and a Merlin the Magician make appearances. The 'plot' has the creatures and their Santa fighting off an Ogre, who is never actually seen. (Because the people that made this didn't have the extra 5 bucks to make an Ogre costume heh.) Totally ridiculous, totally cheeseball, and lots of fun, especially since not many 'Santa's Workshops/Villages' seem to exist anymore.

Santa's Magic Kingdom has the look and feel of a bad, experimental student film. It has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas, despite featuring Santa and his reindeer and being shot in a snow village amusement park (in the middle of summer). What little plot there is involves an ogre (portrayed by Big Wooden Dinosaur) attacking the village, although we never actually see it for more than a few seconds. Merlin's battle with the ogre takes place entirely off camera, while the townsfolk stand around and vacantly look at each other instead of reacting, which I think is what's meant to happen. However, when its over, the jubilation goes on for what seems like five minutes. Puss n'Boots is another main character in this lackluster tale, as well as the narrator. Other familiar faces such as Mrs. Claus (in horn rimmed specs) and the Easter Bunny, as well as some unfamiliar ones, such as Stinky the Skunk make cameo appearances. The highlight of the production comes at the very end when Pretty Princess sings a song that has no melody and is joined by the inhabitants of the village in a chorus of whistling.

I found this short movie to be rather amusing. It all started when I purchased a weird looking tape labelled "Rudolph" at Value Village for a couple of dollars. The first half of the tape was cartoons and such but at the end of the tape, I found the hidden secret of Santa's Magic Kingdom. Immediately after watching it my chest grew painful from laughing. This film also has a creepy touch to it though. This is supposed to be a childrens movie but all I see is a low budget film based upon a weird village out in the middle of nowhere, filled with horribly dressed christmas characters and some with no relation to any aspect of christmas at all. The zero dollar budget effects and eerie soundtrack really add to the "what the hell am I watching" factor. This film is a must see but only because you have no idea what you're missing if you don't.

I watched this late one night after seeing it listed in the "Something Weird" section of On Demand. This was supposed to be a kid's Christmas short. It was just plain BIZARRE. It was a combination of costumed characters I remember from my childhood, low budget horror soundtrack, and Blair Witch camera work. I LMAO and got creep-ed out all at the same time. What more could you ask for? If you grew up thinking Walt Disney was the best thing going, leave this one alone. If, like myself, you think John Waters is a film genius you MUST see this. I swear there were clips of this in "A Dirty Shame". I'm still not quite sure why the Easter Bunny lives in Santa's Kingdom..

This is one of the most terrifying films I've had the pleasure of seeing. From the Stinky Skunk clearly spawned in hell to the rest of the morally depraved cast, this is one film sure to damage children emotionally for generations to come.

It doesn't appear that the original script was even remotely close to what was eventually dubbed in. The original dialogue must not have really underscored the timeless conflict of Santa, Cinderella, Merlin, and Random Employees vs. the Giant Wooden Ogre the way the filmmakers originally intended.

The vulcanized rubber tires on Cinderella's carriage are a profound reminder that the themes in the story continue to challenge us in the modern world, and the rail that keeps the malnourished reindeer from pulling Santa off the cement path is a magical homage to those glorious Victorian Christmases of old.

I recommend this film to anyone that may have any dangerous delusions that the "friendly" characters of his youth are benign and jolly creatures that serve to enrich our lives. Don't throw that at me, Merlin.