Nine Lives - Haus des Schreckens

This picture is about nine old friends who are gathered in a Scottish Manor and everyone is happy to meet each other after so many years. Gals and guys join in and have plenty of booze and start renewing past experiences with each other.

Paris Hilton looked very happy in the role she played and I can understand why, she had a very small part and was the first person to disappear very early into the film.

The wind howling through this creepy old mansion and snow falling made this a very scary film until you find out the reason for all the murder and stabbing. The plot goes completely no where and I must say that most of the actors tried their very best, but the story stinks.

Aside from the bad acting, horrible script, and super lacking storyline, you think someone in/during production would have made sure the kills were at least somewhat more believable. Shallow gut stabs will not kill. And as soon as blood is shown, character dies. It was interesting enough and that's why I gave a couple stars but would have been extremely upset had I paid to watch this movie.

It's bad. But it takes itself very seriously, and it's not bad enough to be enjoyably bad. When will someone let Paris Hilton completely loose, so she can make a truly abominable film? I'm talking something of "Glen or Glenda" caliber. That's why I rented the flick -- I was hoping for a true abortion of cinema. Instead, this film is merely born brain damaged,

Things get close to deliciously terrible when one of the characters begins to piece together parts of the puzzle. Without spoiling the plot, it goes a little like this:

"Wait a minute! Maybe the Titanic didn't sink! Maybe it was a ship from outer space! That would mean the iceberg is still out there, trying to get revenge!"

"It's crazy! But it's the only thing that makes sense!"

And then it turns out that this really is the plot of the movie.

You get that here, only the premise of the film is so incredibly bland, you couldn't care less. People wandering around in a mansion, being chased. Whoopee. If only they would die faster.

There is a tv commercial in which a group of teenagers stop at an old farm only to find that they are being stalked by a madman , one suggests that they get in their car and drive away - they reject that idea and then decide to hide in the barn behind the huge array of chainsaws hanging there. The characters in this movie make those idiots look brilliant.

I've watched a lot a very, very bad movies. I can usually find some small redeeming quality that makes say "hey, I've seen worse".

Bad acting, horrible screenplay and the cheesy "shot with an iPhone" look really made this one of the worst things I've ever seen and it had no redeeming value at all.

As mentioned in the header, the movie equivalent of sugar free Haribo Gummies. If that reference doesn't ring a bell, look them up on Amazon and read the reviews.

Boring watch, won't watch again, and can't recommend.

Despite a minor "ghost effect", there's very little that makes this more than a bunch of people going into hysterics and stabbing each other, or refusing to stab each other, or going on about refusing to stab each other before stabbing one another.

I wanted to like this, but there just isn't much to like here. The characters aren't very enjoyable, with a couple exceptions, so I'm happier to see them die than survive.

When it eventually gets to the final survival group, the resolution is like a slap in the face for making it that far in the movie.