Corpses Are Forever

All the positive reviews here on imdb this film has got (which is the only place you will find any) are very suspicious, as they all sound like canned PR material from the distributor. "Destined to become a cult classic" and "good old fashioned popcorn matinee", jeesh!! Of course I should expect as much from Asylum entertainment - purveyors of schlock even Charles Band wouldn't sit through.

As soon as I saw that the films lead was also the films writer, producer, and director, I knew I was in for trouble. First of all the kid can't act, neither can anyone else in the film, save for Richard Lynch who was barely watchable himself. Bad sound, bad effects and the story just plain sucked, a mishmash of rip-offs from the matrix, total recall, and James bond. And in a film that was about 90 min, there was only about 10 min of Zombie action.

The DVD box claims "its night, dawn, and day of the dead at once" Now that implies allot of living dead action, but nope. None to be found, just the films director running around with bad martial arts, and a performance that made me wince at every word. Don't rent, buy or even consider this film if you are a living dead head. You can tell how bad it is by reading all the fake reviews here that the filmmaker and his buddies probably put up themselves.

I would love to give a more detailed comment on the flick but it sucked so bad, I couldn't focus on it. Bad, acting, crappy fx, poorly shot, I've seen 8- year olds with better zombie makeup on Halloween. All I can really say is that it tries to pass off as an action/horror, but its not scary, or exciting..its just boring...90% talk to say the least and the action is so weak its not even worth watching to laugh at about how crappy it is...I would only recommend this movie as a sleep aid to people with insomnia...much respect to Felissa Rose though (not for playing in this garbage but sleepaway camp) though...that and I like Romereo is about the only reason I watched it but this movie is a disgrace, and I'm not saying that based on its budget... It just sucked...hardily.

Corpses Are Forever (2003) is a waste of time. The film makers tried to make a cool movie but thinking somethings cool when it's not sucks, and so did this film. Instead of wasting money on B-Movie actors who know the product sucks, they should have spent in on production and writing a decent script. This movie is why Asylum is a joke of a company. They think they're Troma and they act like their product is all that and a bag of chips. You think that a company with the name Asylum would make edgy and horrific films that'll shock and terrorize you. Instead they scare you from watching any of their d.v.d.s

When you're making a movie, don't try and bring up cooler movies just so you can get some cred amongst old school horror fans. It wont work. You'll seem like you're reaching for some thing (and anything). The concept of this movie was interesting. Anybody could have made it work. The problem lies with these people. They just don't know how to make a watchable movie. Throwing stuff at the wall and seeing if it sticks is no way either. I could have made a better movie movie with $10,000 and three digital cameras.

Perhaps there's a market for this crap. I don't know who would watch this tripe but there must be. Just remember, have a decent script, motivated actors, a good director and lots of lighting. If you follows these rules you can make something that's watchable. If you try to make a movie that'll entertain yourself, you'll end up on the short end of the stick every time.

Not recommended. This movie is so bad it'll crack the lens within your d.v.d. player.

Here's your "zombie" secret-agent "thriller" in a nutshell: There are twelve zombies that never come close to hurting a soul, no plot, bad acting and a script so bad it poses the question: If 1,000 monkeys with 1,000 typewriters were put into a room for 1,000 years, would they be able to write something better? No and yes. No, they wouldn't write anything, but Yes, the flinging of monkey dung would be better than this dog of a film. If you are an indy filmmaker, why would you work so hard and gather some B- and C-list celebs into a movie only to make a confused, worthless half-ass piece of crap? Yes, I will crap on someone's dream because I love movies. I love movies so much that it hurts me when someone makes the effort to produce something so thoroughly weak.

And here's a question: If you're a CIA agent (that looks like a nineteen year-old kid with drawn-on tattoos) in the midst of a zombie invasion, why are you driving around in a convertible Caddy? Next time, the filmmakers should have ONE story and not only a real actor, but a REAL DIRECTOR. Find someone who knows how to write, and another guy who can operate an editing device. And a non-deaf person to be your sound guy...

I've got to go set this DVD on fire.

I picked up this DVD in Hollywood Video hoping for a little zombie fix. Instead, I found myself going "Huh?"

CORPSES LAST FOREVER tries to be an original take on the zombie genre. The prologue before the credits is not bad. In black and white, we find a young man lying on the floor all bloodied. As he revives, a voice-over of his thoughts are trying to piece together what happened to him. He feels no pain, even though he has been shot and suffered a mangled leg. He grabs a gun on the floor and goes in search of his car.

OK, I was somewhat hooked at this moment.

After the opening credits roll (a take on James Bond films), we are introduced to a guy who has no idea who or where he is. But all of a sudden, he is kung-fooing some zombies who seem to be lined up left and right of center. This is where I start to groan, because these kicks and punches are NOT landing at all! I was reminded of the Elvis comeback special where Big E is showing off his martial arts moves in a musical/dance sequence where E seems to be kicking major bad-guy ass but the moves miss and the bad guys just merely jump and roll on the floor.

The plot of the movie seems to be part spy adventure, part army commando film and part devil-taking-over-the-world scenario. Zombies? Yes, there are zombies, but they seem to more fodder for the star to use his kung-foo than the driving force for the plot.

Jose Prendes wrote, directed, produced and stars in dual roles as the flashback guy and the kung-foo spy. Supposedly funded by Prendes' trust fund, the budget really shows. He seems to try and pay homage to several genres here. Several horror vets appear alongside Prendes; Richard Lynch, Debbie Rochon and Lennea Quigley (No, guys. She doesn't show any skin). Don Calfa (Ernie from ROTLD) is listed as a producer, along with Lynch. This Prendes must have some connections down there in Miami, where this was filmed.

Now the zombie action.

There is no munching, head shots or vacarious gore. NONE! The zombies only seem to stagger around while Prendes kung-foos them around and roll on the floor. Just like Elvis.