The Corpse Grinders 2

Ted V. Mikels used to make films. I'll go as far as to say great films, for what they were. Somewhere along the line he forgot how to and he decided to make this home video which he mistakenly believes to be a "movie". Please avoid this at all costs, and speaking of costs...if you can't afford to shoot on film Mr. Mikels, don't bother at all. - EDDIE WRETCH

This terrible sequel started off talking about alien cat people who were coming to Earth and it seemed very promising.Sadly, the aliens really have nothing to do with the story and are only on screen for about ten minutes. It turns out the movie is actually the first movie again with some minor changes. Somehow the cat food factory still exists and now it's owned by the nephews of the original guys. To make it even lamer, the nephews are exactly like their uncles. There is a doctor and nurse with the same names as the ones in the first movie and of course they have a cat at their office. There's a Caleb in this one too but this time he wasn't already digging up bodies, the cat food guys ask him to do it. Plus his wife carries a teddy bear instead of a baby doll. The factory is always locked this time but every time a person gingerly knocks on the door every one inside easily hears it and let's them in. Other than that it's the exact same movie. They have the same scenes and say the same things. Maybe if it had been 30 years since I saw the first one I wouldn't have noticed it was the same movie but sadly it's been less than 30 hours since I saw it, so I do. I think maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you haven't seen the first one but I can't recommend this movie to anyone. Did I mention that it has the worst acting I have ever seen? The only person who comes close to seeming like they have ever even heard of acting is Caleb's wife.On to part 3......

This movie is AWESOME. I watched it the other day with my cousin Jay-Jay. He said it was alright, but i think it RULEZZZ! I mean, it's so cool. Ted V. Mikels is so brave and smart. He made a movie totally unlike those terrible Hollywood films, like the Matrix and STop or my Mom will Shoot. It could have been better, though. I like ninjas and pirates. I also like that big talon that the funny man wears. I think he's the coolest guy since that Domino Pizza claymation guy. Not only does this movie look really cool, like those out-of-focus movies my dad made of my birthday when I turned 6. BUt it tells a complex tale with dozens of characters that seem to be totally unrelated, but they all meet up in the end. It's genius how this web is woven to make everything meet up. I wish Ted V. Mikels would make a sequel. But it needs more aliens. And a pirate.

Corpse Grinders 2, The (2000)

* (out of 4)

If you watch the making of featurette to the original 1971 film director Ted V. Mikels says that the movie made over $190,000 in one city in just one week. I don't doubt this claim but I do wonder why he'd wait thirty-years before releasing a sequel because there's very little doubt that anyone in 2000 was wanting such a film. The "sequel" is pretty much just a remake with added pieces of other stories thrown in. The nephews of the men from the first film are back in business and uses corpses to make their cat food. The cats eat this junk and eventually start attacking their owners. The "new" story added here is a battle in outer space where cat people are being overtaken by dog people so the cats must come to Earth and try to find cat food that their planet can survive on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up THE CORPSE GRINDERS 2 and the end results aren't nearly as good as one would hope but then again it's doubtful too many had high hopes considering how long it took this movie to come out. From what I've read about Mikels he seems like a wonderful guy and what interviews I've seen it appears he's a wonderful man who loves to make movies. Perhaps that's why he decided to revisit the original film all these years later as two years later he'd also make a sequel to his film THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES. I'm guessing Mikels love of making movies is the main reason this sucker here clocks in at 100-minutes, which is at least half an hour too long. At least the original movie ran under 75-minutes but this thing here just keeps going and going with new subplots coming up every few scenes. The "remake" portion of the film isn't too bad as the idea of humans being used as cat food is rather funny and fans of the original film will probably enjoy seeing the director's new version of scenes. The problem is with everything else as there's way too much useless story including everything going on between the two owners and their ways of getting the corpses. The performances are all rather bland as you'd expect but we do get to see Dolores Fuller in a few scenes selling the cat food. She wrote songs for Elvis but she's best remembered for being Ed Wood's girlfriend and appearing in his films like GLEN OR GLENDA? and BRIDE OF THE MONSTER. She certainly doesn't do anything ground-breaking here but it's nice seeing her. It's doubtful too many people outside of those who want to explore Mikels' filmmography are going to view this thing and that's probably good. It's certainly a very bad movie but at least the director holds everything together and makes something comprehensible.

In a far away Galaxy is a planet called Ceta. It's native people worship cats. But the dog people wage war upon these feline loving people and they have no choice but to go to Earth and grind people up for food. This is one of the stupidest f#@k!ng ideas for a movie I've seen. Leave it to Ted Mikels to make a movie more incompetent than the already low standard he set in previous films. It's like he enjoying playing in a celluloid game of Limbo. How low can he go? The only losers in the scenario are US the viewer. Mr. Mikels and his silly little handlebar mustache actually has people who STILL buy this crap.

My Grade: F

DVD Extras: Commentary by Ted Mikels; the Story behind the Making of (9 and a half minutes); 17 minutes, 15 seconds of Behind the scenes footage; Ted Mikels filmography; and Trailers for "The Worm Eaters" "Girl in Gold Boots", "the Doll Squad", "Ten Violent Women" (featuring nudity), "Blood Orgy of the She Devils", & "the Corpse Grinders"