Mark of the Astro-Zombies

In the 1960s and 70s, Ted Mikels made a lot of cheap films. Some of his early ones weren't bad at all (such as "Black Klansman") but most were rather schlocky. However, in recent years, Mikels has stayed active--producing even lower quality films (yes, this IS possible). And when I talk about lower quality, I am not exaggerating. Films such as "Cauldron: Baptism of Blood" and "Apartheid Slave-Women's Justice" honestly look as if some teenagers decided to make a film using home video equipment and posted the results on YouTube. This is exactly the sort of film to expect from "Mark of the Astro-Zombies"--a film with such low production values that it is WORSE than an Ed Wood flick!!

What's so bad about "Mark of the Astro-Zombies"? Everything. The actors are all non-professionals, his 'monsters' are laughable and sport cheap rubber masks (I especially had to laugh at the lizard people!!!), there appears to be no script, much of the film is missing and cheap messages scroll at the bottom of the screen to fill in the gaps and the entire production seems to have cost Mikels, perhaps, $89.99. Apart from a few trick machetes, the masks and LOTS of fake blood and some VERY cheap CG, I have no idea what Mikels else could have spent any money on--especially since he already seemed to have the home video cameras from his previous direct-to-video and DVD releases. The overall production is at least as bad as recent films like "Birdemic", "Troll 2" and "The Room"...no, I actually think "The Room" is better! However, deciding whether any of these are worse than "Mark of the Astro-Zombies" is like deciding which is worse--Ebola, the Black Plague or Typhoid!!! A truly horrible film that would have made the IMDb Bottom 100 list had it received wider distribution.

I like bad movies. I really do.

But some bad movies at least go through the motions of trying to be good. For instance, Steckler's Incredibly Strange Creatures, where actual sets were constructed and dance numbers were even choreographed - albeit poorly - indicated a genuine attempt to try to make an enjoyable movie. Heck, even Mikel's original Astro-Zombies showed some level of "pre-production" planning. None of it went towards a script rewrite though.

But, Mark of the Astro-Zombies in a contrived mess shot on videotape for crying out loud. And by that I mean a video camera that you could drive down to Circuit City and buy.

The "Making of" featurette (excuse me, I had to chuckle there for a second) is more entertaining than the feature itself, generally because it allows the viewer to see that the movie was a joke to the cast and crew, but the joke was on us.

Steer clear all - find yourself a cold beer and a Troma flick. You'll be glad you did.

I just got my copy of Mark of the Astro Zombies and loved it! Great Stars Tura Satana (great to see her in this sequel) Brinke Stevens (Queen of the Scream Queens!)Liz Renay (in a most humorous role)and Shanti (a welcome bad ass Ted staple).And new break out star performances by Sean Morelli (Corpse Grinders 2),Anton Funtek (Evil Zekith)and a hats off to Scott Blacksher as Zokar in a show stealing performance.And a wink to Nina Tepes for a revealing shower scene and Kimberly Lynn Cole Yowza!Great Digital effects by Master FX and Splatter Master David White.Great Monsters By Jay Gowey (FANTASTIC Dr.Demarco(John Carradine) head for his beyond grave cameo with Tura and Ted V.Mikels) and recreating the Astro Men and for the Evil Zekith.This movies story of good vs evil in a fight over Earth is refreshing and brings up current things like remote viewing,Alien abductions and possible inhabited asteroids and shocking gore for splatter fans.Ted V.Mikels has done it again like he has so many other times and remains one of our Indie treasures!If you havent seen any of Ted V.Mikels movies I suggest you do.Pull up some pop corn and put on your seat belt for one heck of a fun ride!

If this film didn't have some kind of self-conscious humor to it, it would be pretty much worthless. The production values are equivalent to MILF-hunter or a school bus safety video. But there is no exploitation really (not even on a level with the bus video). The only thing that really gave me a laugh was when the zombies were on the loose in the mall. It was nice to see Satana up there on the big screen again after all these years (but then again, I wasn't around for the first time, so why not just rent another classic Satana flick and leave this one behind?).

I have the feeling this one kept everyone busy, but not much else.

What a pleasure to roller coaster your way through this latest Ted V. Mikels flick! If you're a fan of Ted's previous work...or just a fan of the nostalgia of invading nefarious aliens such as were standard in the '50's and '60's...you'll have fun with this movie. It's got a variety of alien life forms, some evil, some benevolent....and of course the Astro Zombies are back (remember their first time 'round, in the original ASTRO ZOMBIES in '68?). They're running amuck again, slashing, chopping, slicing and dicing innocent citizens right and left! Nifty blood/weapons/wounds, by the way. Kudos to the fx team!

Plot? Don't get uptight about it. Go with the flow! Invaders from outer space are up to no good, human villainess and her henchman are up to no good, and the good guys are trying to get a handle on it all. The joy of this film is in its amusing dialog and wonderful cast. Brinke Stevens is pretty as a picture and makes a very warm and appealing heroine. Tura Satan, perhaps best remembered from the cult classic FASTER, PUSSYCAT, KILL, KILL, is a welcome and delightfully wicked "dragon lady" type, whether wielding threatening weapons or slapping the bejeezus out of her dull-witted comic (but dangerous) sidekick, which she does frequently. It's wonderful to see another cult classic actress, Liz Renay, as the kooky, publicity-seeking "I was attacked by aliens!" gal. Liz is very funny in this role....and it's sure great to see how this lady, who was once considered a twin to Marilyn Monroe, has remained a vibrant and engaging screen personality (by the way...remember her in John Waters' DESPERATE LIVING?). And you get a little bonus in this film, too...check out a brief scene by director Mikels himself as a mad, mad, mad scientist who converses with "the head of Dr. De Marco". Lots of laughs!

Just grab this one for the fun-filled ride. No deep thoughts necessary...it's an Ed Woods-type romp in low budget scifi. See it with friends...laugh and hoot and holler...it may not be Shakespeare...but it's fun!