Tail Sting - Der Stich des Skorpions

As someone who prides himself on being a connoseur of the So-Bad-It's-Good school of movies, regardless of the genre, I cannot stress enough how gawd-AWFUL this movie really is. We are talking so dreadful, that there isn't a single redeeming nugget of entertainment value to be gleaned from it, and considering some of the dreck I have been privy to, that's a remarkable statement to make with any confidence. But if any movie could make the likes of such anti-classics like PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE or HORROR OF PARTY BEACH seem like Shakespeare, well, this is it.

I couldn't get this out of my DVD player fast enough after about ten minutes. Save yourself the agony. Go find a copy of ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES and rent that, before you even think about this one.

And PLEASE...don't let the artwork on the cover fool you. That's exactly what moviemakers of this ilk rely on. For once, judge a book by its cover, and skip TAIL STING.

A truly awful movie with laughable special effects, plot holes big enough to fly a 747 through (excuse me, but just how does a 7' long scorpion crawl the length of a charter plane, from rear to cockpit, without anyone noticing?), a script written by a 6th grader and acting that wouldn't win an audition for dinner theater.

Best thing in the film is the line "Talk to the elbow, because the hand wants to slap you." This was obviously targeted to the director of this tripe. One or two comic moments, but not worth paying money to rent. This one crashes on take-off.

Oh my goodness. I rented this movie with a one dollar coupon and was sad to find that it was the only time in my life I was upset about wasting a dollar.

The Good.

1. The movie ended.

The Bad

1. The movie started.

2. In one scene a boom mic operator can clearly be seen in the back of the shot behind a cargo net moving the mic up and down and hither and yon.

3. In another scene a man is sucked out of the plane - past the plane door onto a sound stage and through a trap door - I was unaware planes had sound stages and trap doors - even the big ones.

4. In the same scene as above a gaggle of debris is being blown (in the classic "stuff gets sucked out the open door shot") yet the oxygen masks are hanging straight down.

5. The scorpions grow from about a foot in length to about six feet in length in about two minutes for no apparent reason.

6. Scorpions - like ants and bees and England - have queens . . . apparently.

7. The scientists who genetically engineered the scorpions continually refer to them as insects while I, admittedly not a scientist, am pretty sure they are arachnids.

8. The "queen" scorpion, without aid of a trap door or opposable thumbs and without any reasonable explanation whatsoever (even a simple explanation like "because") becomes locked in the cockpit and the pilot needs only to close the door to trap it inside - it remains here for a long time.

9. The shot of the plane landing at LAX is the same shot of the plane leaving Australia leading one to believe LAX is surrounded by Victorian style homes and an 18 hole golf course.

10. The autopilot is simply a little metal box with a switch and a light titled "Auto Pilot" and it is activated without consideration of other flying wackiness like coordinates or destination - even The Langoliers had that.

11. No Rutger Hauer - sad, it is a movie of his finesse and caliber.

12. The cockpit windows are completely black despite repeated shots that the plane is flying during the day.

The Somewhat acceptable.

1. The "hackers" look like real hackers should - pale, overweight and not prone to things like human contact or socializing.

Overall - a bad movie. So bad it makes a movie like "Turbulence III: Heavy Metal" look like an Academy Award winner for Best Picture. The script was bad, the actors and actresses and boom mic operator even worse and the plot and character development was nowhere to be found. The special effects were atrocious - sure there were no CGI effects but the puppet effects were so horrific it would have been scarier with Gonzo, Grover, Professor Honeydew and Beaker as the queen.

Save yourself the sorrow of wallet victimization. See "Turbulence III: Heavy Metal", see "The Dead Next Door", see "Left Behind II: Tribulation Force" - don't see this . . . please . . . for the children.

This is a truly bad "creature feature". The Scorpions in this movie look so fake and laughable that it recalls old 1950's B monster movies. Why didn't they just didn't use cheap CGI effects? They most certainly couldn't have been any worse. I mean these things look like puppets on film!

The plotline could have been much more developed and half way possible for the viewer to suspend their disbelief. It's one of those times you think "WOW, i could have even made this plotline better".

Scientifically, this is clearly impossible for Scorpions in a jar to suddenly grow to be gigantic Scorpions within minutes. And they never even really look like Scorpions, they look more like Crabs...and very stupid looking Crabs at that! I thought those bad films died at the drive-in theaters decades ago!

This movie takes place 99% on a passenger plane, and i never could suspend my disbelief that this was simply a studio set. The lighting never looked right or believable.

The acting is a mixed bag, some of the actors were quite good while others were very bad. There are a few moments during the movie that are comedic and will cause you to chuckle but not really laugh. However, some scenes that obviously were meant to be funny are just plain idiotic.

This is yet another truly HORRIBLE movie that has been released by York Entertainment. I won't even mention "Ax'Em" which is probably the worst horror film ever made. When York started out they released some really good movies like "Kolobos" and "American Vampire", but lately they've been releasing some of the most pathetic movies I've ever seen. The bad thing is, they sound like they might be good...but nothing could be further from the truth.

Avoid this film unless you really want to see just how a bad picture is really made.

With so many people reviewing this rarely seen film, I had to check it out. And I am not sorry that I did. While the movie was generally unbelievable, stupid and full of plot holes, the script was pretty decent and maintained interest to the end. The only level on which this movie worked was the generous use of humor and the absurd. Thus, on the boring scale Tail Sting passed, but unless you don't mind laughing at a film, you better look elsewhere. I would like to say that with a little bit more film making expertise, budget and cast, Tail Sting could have been decent, but a major overhaul is needed. Had that been done, we would have just another movie with far fewer reviews.