Inferno

I think I'd rather burn in an inferno than sit through this film again. I can deal with the horrendous script, the appalling acting, the incompetent directing and the sinful waste of an excellent actor like Jeff Fahey, but what I can not excuse is the fact that "Inferno" is overwhelmingly dull and boring.

The first half of Inferno is as riveting as watching paint dry. Poor Janet Gunn looks completely at sea with the ridiculous role of Darcy, a single mother/fire jumper. When Darcy isn't jumping from planes to watch other people put out fires, she's busy fighting with her daughter, Kylie. The girl who plays Kylie is truly one of the least talented actresses I have ever seen. To describe her acting as wooden would be an insult to wood. And yet, Kylie is not the most poorly acted role in the film. That title undoubtedly belongs to the girl who portrays Mary, surely the worst child actor since Curly Sue.

I'm not sure what is actually more offensive, the acting or the pathetic special effects. In the director's commentary of Ladder 49, Jay Russell says that fire is about the only thing that CGI can not adequately create. After watching this film, I have to agree. The fires look like they have been drawn on the screen with a child's crayon.

I can really only think of two uses for "Inferno" - as landfill or as a handbook on how not to make a movie. Only for die-hard fans of Jeff Fahey, Dean Stockwell or Janet Gunn.

While viewing a multi-pack of action DVD's I stumbled across what appears to be a little known film that I certainly had not heard of before. The only actor immediately recognizable is Dean Stockwell who has only a small and rather featureless part as Mayor Bill Klinger. Despite this I found the scenery and acting well above average for what was ostensibly a low budget production. Panoramic views of the sweeping forestry were well executed and while the special effects were not up to blockbuster standard they were adequate and in no way detracted from the experience. The plot revolves around new Rural Fire Chief Darcy Hamilton played by the incredibly sexy Janet Gunn. The move brings tension between Darcy, her daughter, the mayor and the local firefighters. All the while a random arsonist is making life difficult. The story itself is sound with some believable action heating things up. Overall I found the movie absorbing with above average acting and reasonably strong plot lines.

This was my first and only gig as an extra. Our local contra dancing club was recruited for the final scene, filmed on one of the hottest days of the year in a building about 30 feet from the original location of Sutter's Mill (the one that started the CA Gold Rush). It was about 100+ inside, then they had to turn on the lights, close the doors and we had to go into high gear and not sweat.

It was frankly, a lot of fun. But we waited for a couple of years for the thing to be released, and thankfully it went direct to DVD.

It is just a cheese-ball effort. And one wonders how stuff like this ever gets bankrolled.

Well, best thing about the film was the contra dance band at the end, the Hillillies from Mars, of which I am a member. Actors were competent I thought, though working with very poor material. I will say that lunch was pretty good. Though the extras didn't get the same grub as the stars. My buddy Ray, unfamiliar with the movie class system, managed to wander through the first class lunch line and get actual meat instead of the spaghetti we lowly serfs were served. Cast and crew seemed like nice folks. Strange business this second line Hollywood stuff. I think the director must have gotten tired when editing, and the writer gave up after awhile as well. Wonder what it would have been like had everyone mimed their parts?

I have seen so many movies about fires but by far this is the worst one. I like the female firefighter idea but her character was not fully developed. The visual effects are OK for a low budget movie. The acting. Well this is a different story. First of all the kids are really stupid in this film. Kylie deserves what she gets. Her boyfriend is silly and more importantly Mary, the little girl, she looks like she is having fun at the park while the fire is on. The mayor character played by Stockwell is underdeveloped supporting character. It is too bad that they could not use him. Soulless characters, dull story, OK visual effects and bad acting. I think this is a deadly combination. Rent another movie or watch something else on TV.